Will I Hate Mother!? A Serious Quiz

By , a features writer at Vulture and New York
Photo: Paramount Pictures

In the week since Mother!’s release, the tenor of the conversation surrounding it has blown past the point of “Let’s Have an Uncomfortably Personal Twitter Argument About This Movie†and escalated into the realm of “This Movie Is Destroying People’s Relationships With God.†If the internet is any indication — and it always is! — there are only two possible responses to have to Darren Aronofsky’s latest: Either you think it’s a profound allegorical masterpiece rife with trenchant takes on global and biblical themes, or you think it’s a pox on both cinema and Jesus, and never the twain shall meet.

Before you head to the theater this weekend and maybe accidentally ruin your life, why not take our handy quiz to determine, preemptively and with 100 percent certainty: Will You Love or Hate Mother!?

Will I Hate Mother!? A Serious Quiz

Do you like movies?
What’s your favorite book?
What would you do if a stranger came into your house unannounced and broke all your shit?
Do you have this poster?
Is Kristen Wiig scary?
Is your sink braced?
What is fracking?
What do you wear to sleep?
What do you take to actually fall asleep, though?
What did you think of the ending of Fight Club?
Finish this lyric: “I walk a lonely road / The only one that I have ever known..."
What is the crux of man's eternal struggle?
A person stands up at a party and, unsolicited, lectures everyone about global warming for two hours. Do you:
That same person quotes scripture at you later in bed, then laughs ruefully and says, “God is dead.†Do you:
That same person quotes Infinite Jest at you later in bed, then laughs ruefully and says, “I’ve read that book 40 times and I still feel like I’m learning from David.†Do you:

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Will I Hate Mother!? A Serious Quiz