If you’re looking for a hotel where you can kick back, relax, and have a bullet fished out of your soft tissue, look no further than director Drew Pearce’s Hotel Artemis. It’s an all-inclusive experience: skull masks, Sterling K. Brown, that liminal time between when Jeff Goldblum takes off his sunglasses and the moment they have actually been removed from his face. Whatever you need, Jodie Foster’s the Nurse will be there to provide it. If you aren’t happy with your stay, a reminder that the film takes place in 2028 and Jeff Goldblum’s character is allegedly named the Wolf King will be provided, free of charge. Hotel Artemis opens on June 8, but book early. People are dying to get in. It also looks like they might be dying once they are already inside, but that seems to be in strict violation of hotel policy.
