Can I tell you about a song I cannot stop listening to? It’s called “Mooo!†by Doja Cat, and it’s about being a cow. “Bitch I’m a cow / Bitch I’m a cow / Go mooo!†It’s a goofy, pixelated video approaching viral status: Chance the Rapper has endorsed it. Genius says it “interpolates Wu-Tang Clan, Juicy J, Ludacris, and Kelis.†I say that’s all true, that it’s also a work of modern art, and that you should pour yourself an Aperol spritz, put some sunglasses on, and dance around your apartment to it immediately.
This is the most important song to be released this summer, maybe ever. It is catchier than Charlie Puth, whom I have sworn my allegiance to. It is funnier than Cardi B, who also has my undying devotion. The music video is more ironic-but-goofy than the music video for “New Light†by John Mayer. It takes a stronger political stance than Childish Gambino’s “This Is America.†The costumes are almost better than “Apeshit,†the song Beyoncé recorded with her cheating husband, Jay-Z. Again, I exclaim: Doja Cat has bottled an end-of-summer bop! All it takes is for Doja Cat to sing the hook — “Bitch I’m a cow, bitch I’m a cow†— and here I go: Mooooo!
“Mooo!†which Doja Cat wrote and recorded after hanging out on Instagram one night, is a rather simple, jazzy song about the important things in life: eating cheeseburgers, maybe doing some kissing, and generally not being in the mood to do anything else. It is a glorious anthem about staying in one’s lane: “Bitch, I’m too smooth / I’m not in the mood / Tryna make moves†— a liberté, égalité, fraternité for these twisted times! (Stunningly, this is also my political affiliation.) “After making the song I was craving a cheeseburger so I ordered delivery and it made it to my house in time for filming,†Doja Cat, my hero, told Complex. “That’s why I’m eating and drinking a strawberry milkshake throughout the video. The whole process of making the video took about five hours max. The song took about six.â€
Please allow me one embarrassing yet somewhat endearing anecdote from my childhood: On the 101st day of my kindergarten year, we had a 101 Dalmatian day, where every student had to dress up as a dalmation. Both of my parents worked and my mom didn’t think a class of 5-year-olds would notice if she sent her daughter to Catholic school dressed as a cow. Reader, they noticed! And so cows have been a sensitive subject for me ever since. At least, up until Sunday night, when I heard Doja Cat’s song “Mooo!â€, which is the greatest thing a summer in Trump’s America has to offer. It’s good lazy-sexy-flirty fun: “Old McDonald had a farm,†Doja Cat begins in the nursery rhyme’s unforgettable singsong. And then: “I give him a titty tryna keep him calm.â€
(I sent this music video to my mom and her reply was: “Gurlllll! You’re too much.†She thought that this was actually a video of me, and I was about to get in trouble. She’s not really into pop music.)
But who is Doja Cat, this dairy goddess who has descended from a Philly cheesesteak heaven with this track? She broke out in 2014 with “So High,†and in March released an album of similarly chill R&B on her full-length debut, Amala. Also: Bitch, she’s an unbothered cow. “I love that the majority of you guys are healthy and normal,†she tweeted, “and then all of the people who don’t like moo are taking their lives and a song I wrote about cows all too seriously, losing hair over it.†It’s a joke song that does what few other gags have managed: It’s infectious. It’s hilarious. It’s “Mooo!â€