You’re poor. You’re subsisting on boiled cabbage and shirt water. Host Claire Foy is playing you on Saturday Night Live, which is nice, but soon a candy-obsessed madman will co-opt your childhood and endanger your life in a whole host of sugary ways. Just when you think being Roald Dahl character Charlie Bucket from 1971’s Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory can’t get any worse, SNL takes your grandparents’ four-person bed (which is, of course, in the exact middle of your one-room home) to its inevitable filthy conclusion. Which is the worse experience for Charlie, though? Last night’s passionate lovemaking, or Kristen Stewart’s Willy Wonka sketch from way back in February 2017?
