As Chicago prosecutors continue to assert Jussie Smollett allegedly planned his own hate crime attack, it makes sense that the maybe-fired Empire star would find his way onto a legal version of Shark Tank, a.k.a. the best show currently airing on Friday nights. And why is he pleading for legal assistance, you ask? “I broke humanity,†he offers. “But if you take my case, I’m offering spoilers for the next season of Empire. I die.†Too bad noted bozo Jeanine Pirro has to recuse herself for being really turned on by his story: “A gay black man lying about an attack! I wrote Fox News fan fiction about this but I never thought it would come true!†He gets one offer.
Jussie Smollett Is Fox News Fan Fiction Come to Life on SNL
