Hannah “Roll Tide†Brown, a proud pageant queen and hot mess from the great state of Alabama, will be officially joining The Bachelorette’s sisterhood next Monday when her season debuts on ABC. (Much to the chagrin of Caelynn, we’re assuming.) Has she already picked the man who pledged his loyal, undivided fence loyalty to her for rest of their lives? Yup. That’s not a surprise, the filming ended already. There’s a formula, people! But are we still going to speculate wildly about the weirdest guys we’ve identified from the show’s cast bios, which were posted on the network’s website today? Obviously. Grab a rosé bottle! Here are the biggest (and most amusing) red flags you need to know for our gal.
Chasen, 27, pilot
“His favorite pastime is watching The Bachelor and drinking cocktails with his mom.â€
Connor S., 27, investment analyst
“Connor loves Justin Bieber.â€
Grant, 30, unemployed
“Grant is the real-life ‘The Dude.’ He loves white Russians and has no interest in hearing about your CrossFit workout plan or recent Instagram post.â€
Hunter, 24, pro surfer
“Hunter still lives at home with his parents.â€
Joe, 30, the box king
“Las Vegas is Joe’s favorite place in the world. He went four times in the last year alone.â€
John Paul Jones, 24, John Paul Jones
“When referring to John Paul Jones, always use his full name: John Paul Jones. John Paul Jones’s favorite drink is Champagne. John Paul Jones rarely uses words that are less than three syllables long.â€
Kevin, 27, behavioral health specialist
“Kevin wants to travel more, but he won’t go anywhere that doesn’t have an available gym.â€
Matt, 26, medical device salesman
“Matt says that he ‘loves Hannah and he hasn’t even met her.’â€
Matteo, 25, management consultant
“Matteo is a sperm donor who has helped create 114 children for all types of families.â€
Scott, 28, software sales executive
“He says he is very skilled at schmoozing waitresses into giving him free food and drinks.â€