The Oscars are, quite famously, named after Oscar the Grouch, the prototypical angry white man. Viewed through this historical lens, it makes sense that the Academy inordinately rewards films about white men who are very, very furious about something. What they’re mad about doesn’t matter. It could be anything, really — a person, a car, a breakfast, a political uprising, a horse. It’s the sheer fact of manly misanthropy that makes a film compelling, important, and worthy of praise. A good film should force you to stop and wonder: Why is this man mad, and is it my fault? (When a fictional woman is angry, remember: She’s ungrateful. And this is unattractive to the Academy, who just nominated, like, ten women!)
During 2020’s furiously truncated Oscar season, it will be hard to remember: Which white man is pissed about which thing, again? Below, we’ve created a helpful list. Refer back to it early and often until you, too, become incandescent with rage. Maybe someday somebody will make a movie about you!
Ford v Ferrari: Cars
The Irishman: Other, more Irish men
Jojo Rabbit: Jews
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood: Hippies
1917: Whatever happened in 1916
Joker: “Society,†man
Marriage Story: Female agency
The Lighthouse: Seagulls
Bombshell: Women with blonde bobs
The Two Popes: The slackening grip of the Catholic Church
Avengers: Endgame: That the game must end
Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker: Rian Johnson
Ad Astra: Paternal expectations in a post-Reagan America
Maleficent: Mistress of Evil: Mothers-in-law
Richard Jewell: Bombs, but also people who find bombs before they go off
Harriet: Black people generally
Pain and Glory: Heroin
Rocketman: Heroin
Knives Out: Immigrants
Little Women: Not being an immigrant
A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood: Chilling lack of external rage indicates quiet internal fury
Parasite: N/A