Hallmark Channel to Start Airing Christmas Movies, Proving Time Means Nothing Now

Exclusively to keep the moms indoors. Photo: Hallmark

Update, Thursday, March 26 at 10:00 a.m.: Remember when you were 7 years old and wished it could be Christmas all the time? Hallmark is here to fulfill that wish for you, albeit a few years late. To help entertain everyone at home, Hallmark Movies & Mysteries is starting its own weekend movie marathon, the “Miracles of Christmas Movie Marathon.� The holiday event will take place March 27 to 29, a week after the Hallmark Channel’s own marathon. Hallmark’s streaming video-on-demand platform, Hallmark Movies Now, is also offering a free 30-day trial, just in case a weekend isn’t enough for the stir-crazy mom in your life. Worst comes to worst, sit her down with a free e-book version of A Country Wedding, offered by Hallmark Publishing. With all Zumba classes and book clubs on indefinite hiatus, Hallmark is securing its demographic with holiday movies and romantic dramas.

Deck the halls with toilet paper, fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la! ’Tis the season to be distant, fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la! Don we now our latex gloves, fa-la-la — you get the point. Since the thought of what life will be like in December is panic attack–inducing, Christmas is coming early this year. To help ease the social distancing (or self-isolation), the Hallmark Channel has scheduled their annual “Countdown to Christmas� movie marathon for March 20–22, according to ET Online. It’s a Very Merry Coronavirus Christmas in March! The marathon kicks off with Candace Cameron Bure’s A Christmas Detour on March 20 at 12 p.m. and ends with Christmas in Rome starring Lacey Chabert on March 22 at 6 p.m. Other stars featured in the marathon are Kristin Chenoweth, Torrey DeVitto, Adrian Grenier, Holly Robinson Peete, and Chad Michael Murray. Hallmark’s Christmas movies will distract you from thoughts of worldwide doom with problems like “an ambitious doctor starts a new romance and learns that her small town is hiding a holiday secret.� What is the secret? Is it the cure for coronavirus? Has Candace Cameron Bure’s Hallmark holiday movie Christmas Under Wraps had the cure the whole time? No. But that’s exactly the kind of thought a Hallmark movie marathon will evaporate from your brain. Anyway! Troll the forums, not the streets, fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!