Jason Bateman Recalls Chimp Attack in SNL Monologue

Jason Bateman took the stage as host of last night’s Saturday Night Live, revisiting his first time hosting and specifically, a near miss involving a “real, male, adult chimpanzee.� The chimp was part of a sketch called “Monkeys Throwing Poop at Celebrities� — “This was 2005, things were loose� — and even took a bow at the end of the show. “We’re all hugging, we’re saying good night, the credits are rolling, and then the monkey tried to kill me,� Bateman explains, before showing video evidence of the chimp trying to “bite [his] nose off.� At the time, Bateman soldiered on with good nights, but suffered in silence. “I am smiling but inside I’m thinking a monkey just attacked me and nobody cares,� he remembers. And though Bateman joked that the monkey was later “destroyed,� he closed out the story by yelling possibly the greatest SNL monologue sign-off of all time: “The chimp is still alive, stick around, we’re going to be right back!�