Katie Thurston and Michelle Young Will Whip Men Into Shape With Back-to-Back Bachelorette Seasons

Young (left) and Thurston (right). Photo: ABC

The Bachelor franchise looked at Chris Harrison and said … ban all men until further notice.

In an unprecedented schedule strategy that features 100 percent less boys, 2021 will consist of two back-to-back Bachelorette seasons, with Katie “Vibrator Girl� Thurston and Michelle Young set to be the respective leading ladies for seasons 17 and 18. The news served as one of the bright, non-racism-related spots on Monday’s After the Final Rose, with guest host Emmanuel Acho announcing the casting alongside both women. Peter Weber’s 23-year-old Christian girls must be fuming!

“I was a little nervous, but once I found out that it was two different seasons, I was here for it. I’m excited that I get to have somebody to bond over with this and share notes as we go,� Young explained on ATFR. “I really do think that this process works. When you can set down all these outside distractions and really dive in, I think you can learn a lot about somebody. I’m just excited. I’m ready to get started.�

Thurston’s season will begin filming soon at a resort near Albuquerque, New Mexico, while Young’s season is set for a summer production at an unknown location. Their seasons are expected to air in summer 2021 and fall 2021, respectively, and will be separated by a horny romp of Bachelor in Paradise. As a little biographical reminder for you all: Thurston is a 30-year-old bank marketing manager from Washington who introduced the world to her vibrator on several occasions. Young is a 27-year-old teacher from Minnesota who’s — and we don’t want to editorialize — simply the best.

Besides the historic nature of back-to-back Bachelorette seasons, the dual casting of Thurston and Young is interesting from a logistical standpoint. While both women were fan favorites during James’s season, Thurston was friend-zoned and eliminated fairly early on, placing 11th among all contestants. (The only other Bachelor contestant turned Bachelorette lead to place so low was Hannah Brown, who ended in seventh during The Virgin’s season.) Young, while James’s runner-up, was one of five women who unexpectedly joined The Bachelor in the third week, giving her far less screen time than her day-one cohorts. Both women also eschewed the petty drama and toxicity that plagued the house, which was a pretty remarkable endeavor, given the extent of the stupid shit that was allotted airtime.

Here’s hoping that Thurston and Young’s relationships don’t end with an engagement to a cheating dog-food-jingle writer, a duplicitous Michael Strahan wannabe, an alleged stalker, or a Blue Lives Matter enthusiast.