It seems appropriate that Bachelor Nation’s most tumultuous and indulgent year (four … seasons …) ended with borderline incomprehension during Michelle Young’s Bachelorette finale, all thanks to a dark-horse third contestant, The Sea. Also referred to as his birth name, The Deafening Sea. Young, the country’s hottest teacher, decided to reject Brandon Jones before accepting a proposal from Nayte Olukoya at the show’s climax on a Mexican beach, two affecting moments that would’ve benefitted from us not needing to fiddle with close-captioning buttons and blast the volume to 100 percent. Not even, woosh, the boom operators could tame, woosh, the sounds of the raging waters above dialogue such as “this has not necessarily been a smooth ride.†Congrats anyway, you two! Here’s a Genesis song to set the mood.
The Bachelorette Sea Was Angry That Day, My Friends
