What lessons can other filmmakers learn from the success of Ryusuke Hamaguchi’s Drive My Car? Is it that programmers need not fear the three-hour run time? Is it that critics really do influence the Oscars? Or is it that naming your movie after a Beatles song is a foolproof cinematic good-luck charm? (The film is based on a short story by Haruki Murakami, whose work makes frequent allusions to the Fab Four.) Hamaguchi’s movie joins a proud lineage of projects that take their titles from the Beatles’ discography, including 1978’s I Wanna Hold Your Hand, 1987’s Can’t Buy Me Love, and 1990’s Misery. Of course, the percentage of films named after a Beatles song pales in comparison to those that are not — but what if the ratio was a little more even? Can you even … imagine? (We’re not doing solo work here.)
Below, find my best attempt to rename every movie I could think of with a new title drawn from the work of John, Paul, George, and Ringo.
On Chesil Beach (2018) → Please Please Me
The Vanishing (1988) → I Saw Her Standing There
Source Code (2011) → It Won’t Be Long
Vertigo (1958) → If I Fell
The Terminator (1984) → I’ll Be Back
Loser (2000) → I’m a Loser
Primer (2003) → Eight Days a Week
Krisha (2015) → I Don’t Want to Spoil the Party
Victor/Victoria (1982) → She’s a Woman
The Shallows (2016) → Help!
Brokeback Mountain (2005) → You’ve Got to Hide Your Love Away
Margaret (2011) → I’ve Just Seen a Face
Memento (2000) → Yesterday
127 Hours (2010) → I’m Down
I Am Curious (Yellow) (1967) → Norwegian Wood
The Invisible Man (2020) → I’m Looking Through You
Inception (2010) → I’m Only Sleeping
Bombshell (2019) → She Said She Said
Identity (2003) → Rain
Osmosis Jones (2001) → Within You Without You
Lady Bird (2017) → She’s Leaving Home
Yesterday (2019) → Fixing a Hole
Groundhog Day (1993) → A Day in the Life
Breaking Away (1979) → With a Little Help From My Friends
The Marriage of Maria Braun (1978) → Baby, You’re a Rich Man
Tusk (2014) → I Am the Walrus
Love Actually (2003) → All You Need Is Love
Smooth Talk (1985) → Your Mother Should Know
Evita (1996) → Lady Madonna
Into the Wild (2007) → Mother Nature’s Son
Sixteen Candles (1985) → Birthday
I Shot Andy Warhol (1996) → Happiness Is a Warm Gun
Insomnia (2002) → I’m So Tired
Aladdin (1992) → Everybody’s Got Something to Hide Except Me and My Monkey
Julie & Julia (2009) → Julia
Lean on Pete (2017) → Dig a Pony
Holes (2003) → Dig It
My Octopus Teacher (2020) → Octopus’s Garden
The Queen (2006) → Her Majesty
The Passion of the Christ (2004) → Carry That Weight
Melancholia (2011) → The End
Also, Elizabethtown should have been called Rubber Soul.