Everybody’s favorite one-sided feud of the past [checks watch] 16 hours has come to a public end. Following reports that his upcoming book Friends, Lovers and the Big Terrible Thing included a surprising amount of Keanu Reeves–bashing, Matthew Perry has apologized. Twice throughout the book, which comes out November 1, Perry apparently compares Keanu Reeves unfavorably to other actors who have died. “Why is it that the original thinkers like River Phoenix and Heath Ledger die, but Keanu Reeves still walks among us?†he says, according to Page Six. Then, when Chris Farley dies, “I punched a hole through Jennifer Aniston’s dressing room wall when I found out,†he says. “Keanu Reeves walks among us.†This kind of dated Reeves hatred did not go over well with an internet of Keanu lovers. TikToks and tweets were made in response, and they were none too favorable toward the Friends star. Now, he’s apologized in a statement. “I’m actually a big fan of Keanu,†Perry’s statement says per Deadline. “I just chose a random name, my mistake. I apologize. I should have used my own name instead.†I mean, subbing in your own name would imply a heightened sense of self-loathing that — honestly, never mind. Thanks for the statement, Matt.