You’ve heard of the tunnels underneath Disney World, where decapitated Mickeys roam the subterranean depths like CHUDs. But have you heard of the time capsule underneath Dollywood? In a clip from The Kelly Clarkson Show, Dolly Parton confirms a long-held legend: “I have written a song that nobody’s gonna hear until I’m 99 years old — I might be there, I might not be.†The song is buried in a time capsule, as a part of “all the things that had to do with the times†when the park opened in 1986. These artifacts include a cassette player and/or CD player (Parton mentions both). Those machines couldn’t sit empty, so Parton recorded a track to be played upon the capsule’s opening.
And here’s the most frustrating part: “It’s a really good song,†she teases. Parton has a nagging fear that “it’s going to be a song that nobody’s ever going to hear, if it rots in there before they open it.†So you know what we must do. Show up at Dollywood with shovels! (Don’t actually do this, if only because they won’t let you in and then you won’t be able to ride such attractions as Dolly’s “Amazing Flying Elephantsâ€). Plan B? Make it the plot of National Treasure 3, and have her write a new secret song for the fictionalized version.