the burden of sentience

Cardi B, The Simpsons, and a Submersible

Photo: Shareif Ziyadat/Getty Images

You ever read something so weird, upsetting, or mind-boggling that you almost refuse to remember it? Whether you chalk it up to the world being a simulation, or that “there are more things in heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy,†some facts make the brain say “No â¤ï¸.†Here’s one: You know that sub full of billionaires that got lost touring the shipwreck of the Titanic? The wife of the ship’s pilot, Wendy Rush, is the great-great-granddaughter of a couple who died on the Titanic in 1912. According to the New York Times, Rush’s great-great-grandparents were the inspiration for the old couple in James Cameron’s film. You know the one. The old man and woman that spoon as water rushes into their first-class cabin, defining fidelity and heterosexual love for a generation? Yeah, them. But that connection is only the beginning of the Titan submersible’s connection to pop culture.

The submarine stepson has beef with Cardi B

Brian Szasz, the stepson of billionaire Hamish Harding, announced his connection to the Titan sub with the now iconic (now deleted) tweet “My stepdad is missing in the sub at the titanic site. I’m here at the San Diego show for support thanks.🖤ðŸ™.†Reactions to the tweet were mixed, with some people noting that not attending a Blink-182 concert won’t have a material effect on the search and rescue mission. Others, like Cardi B, called Szasz out. Cardi B felt like he should have been waiting at the house, sad. Or at the very least keeping his mother company.

Szasz responded by writing, “What a pos trashy celeb. Cardi B trying to get clout off me and my families suffering. I went to a Blink 182 concert for coping rather than sitting at home and watching the news. Shame on you Cardi get some class!†Cardi’s rebuttal was that no one knew about his connection to the tragedy until he tweeted at Tom DeLonge. “The point was the whole world is praying for these people in the submarine and this man son is online shaking dicks for girls off onlyfans and going to Blink 182 concerts,†she wrote, alluding to messages he had sent models earlier in the day. “You was looking for clout all along, nobody knew who you were until you said that was ya stepdad!!!†Szasz has since deactivated his Twitter account.

Adele conducts her own research in Vegas

Most of Twitter debated on whether or not they’d actually go down to see the Titanic in real life when the news struck late Monday night, with the consensus being an astounding “Hell no!†But Adele took it upon herself to conduct her own poll during her Las Vegas residency at Caesars Palace. “How many people, if they could, would go down to the very bottom of the ocean to see the Titanic?†asked Adele before seeing the final show of hands for going against a dive. She states that she wouldn’t be rolling in the deep unknown because she’s a “scaredy cat†and she doesn’t “genuinely have an interest in deep sea or space.†However, the “Would you rather?†game doesn’t end; the clip gets cut off right before she asks the crowd if no one has ever been on an airplane.

A Simpsons showrunner went on a successful Titanic expedition

Mike Reiss, co-showrunner of seasons three and four of The Simpsons alongside current showrunner Al Jean, went on three different OceanGate Expeditions visits to the Titanic. “I got on the sub and at the back of my mind was ‘well, I may never get off this thing,’ that’s always with you,†he told BBC Big Breakfast. “You have to just remember the early days of the space program or the early days of aviation, where you just make a lot of mistakes on the way to figuring out what you’re doing.†As described in his memoir, Springfield Confidential, Reiss gave up on TV writing after his and Jean’s overall deal at Disney ended. He’s spent the past few decades traveling the world and consulting on The Simpsons.

King Princess Sees a Pattern

King Princess is also related to the Titanic true love couple. But she has a distinctly anti-capitalist take on the whole affair. “I think there is a cycle of bajonka-jillionaires wanting to explore shit and then dying,†she said on TikTok. “Like, look at my fucking family, right?†This means that KP and Wendy Rush are distantly related.

Who’s submitting to DeuxMoi about this?

Someone submitted an “anon pls†to DeuxMoi about the submersible, because that’s how our society responds to everything.

This post was corrected to read that Wendy Rush is the pilot’s wife and not the pilot.

Cardi B, The Simpsons, and a Submersible