On the latest episode of Hot Ones, John Mulaney revealed a juicy, unbelievable secret: He can handle spicy food. Nothing about Mulaney’s whole deal would have led me to believe this to be the case. Look at this man! Pale as the driven snow. But on the Legally Mandatory for All Celebrities press stop that is Hot Ones, people reveal their true selves. Filming with Sean Evans at 11 in the morning, Mulaney kept his patter going as he ate even the spiciest sauces. (His reasoning: “I’ve done a lot of damage to my synapses.â€) He shed some involuntary tears, but he didn’t turn red, didn’t cough, just gave some pretty harsh notes to whoever makes a hot sauce called Da Bomb: “It’s not good. It’s not good food. Do you understand? It doesn’t make food better. I’m not trying to damage their business. Not a good product.â€
Later in the interview, he spoke with great candor about fatherhood. Not concerning his son but his goldfish, when he was a kid: “Here’s the problem … especially if you like taking care of people. You want to feed them more, but you’re not supposed to.†With tears in his eyes (from the hot sauce), he says, “There’s only one thing I can ever give you, and I gave it to you already today. But you’re still there, and I want you to like me, and I want you to tell the other fish that I’m a good guy. So I’d love to feed you again and again and again.†Kill ’em with kindness, the Baby J way.