If there’s mad drippage down your neck (your Who jewels) or if you’ve got icy pussy (as the Whoville thrilla) or even if you’re just going to eff this Grinch, it’s important that you learn a new Christmas dance. It comes, as it must, from one Matt Rogers, who taught the dance at the 2023 Vulture Fest, during his Holiday Spectacular Sing-A-Long Spectacular (Album Version). It goes along with the opening lines of his now-hit song “Hottest Who Up in Whoville,†which he recently recorded for an album (Matt’s Version). The entire audience at Vulture Fest was taught the beautiful dance, which is both seductive and aggressive, both sensual and intense. Slay! Sleigh!
To participate in the dance, which is likely to sweep the nation this Christmas, the dancer must: sway their hips (right, then left), crouch (seductively), then play with the Jacuzzi water (propwork), then bounce up and move arm (fun!), then cover mouth to “Oh oh!†(cute!), then mime a phone (more propwork), and finally drop it to the floor with arms raised (aggressive). This dance needs to go megaviral so that Rogers gets to meet Mariah Carey for longer than he when he was at Peloton is. It’s everything we want this Christmas, so dance, monkeys! Dance!