We’d wager that all those theorizing Swifties are now relieved that Taylor Swift never claimed this movie. Argylle is packed with twists and turns, but early reviews of it have been remarkably consistent. A majority of critics are thoroughly unimpressed with director Matthew Vaughn’s latest spy action film, which will eventually end up on Apple TV+ after a stint in theaters. The movie’s packed cast includes Bryce Dallas Howard, Sam Rockwell, Henry Cavill, Dua Lipa, John Cena, Catherine O’Hara, Bryan Cranston, Ariana DeBose, and more. Vulture’s Bilge Ebiri described Argylle as “a movie of violent extremes — exhausting and tedious, but occasionally enchanting†due in part to its action sequences. Many critics took issue with the plot and runtime, delivering some serious burns in the process: the Washington Post’s Ty Burr compared the viewing experience to a headache, while Rolling Stone’s David Fear questioned whether “such a colossal waste of talent and precious time†should be legal. Below, what critics are saying about Argylle.
“The truth is that Vaughn has never been much of a storyteller, but he remains an inspired choreographer of deranged mayhem. In his best films, Kingsman: The Secret Service and Kick Ass, he took Mark Millar comics and visualized them with such brutal, gonzo panache that we couldn’t help but be invested in the characters’ fates. Here, despite all the frantic plot points (and the steady stream of cameos from actors who surely got paid well for what appears to have been one day’s worth of work, from Richard E. Grant to Samuel L. Jackson to Sofia Boutella), the story is too thin for us to care all that much. Ultimately, we’re left with a movie of violent extremes — exhausting and tedious, but occasionally enchanting.â€
—Bilge Ebiri, Vulture
“Argylle was not, to my knowledge, written by A.I. (It was written by Jason Fuchs.) But it perfectly embodies the soulless, human-free feel that I worry about. It is ostensibly a tribute to spy movies of an earlier age, not clever enough to be a spoof and certainly not satire. But a homage shows affection for, understanding of and respect toward the thing it is honoring. Argylle feels pasted together by a robot manipulating some kind of spy Magnetic Poetry.†—Alissa Wilkinson, the New York Times
“If you enjoyed Layer Cake (2004), Kick-Ass (2010) and the three Kingsman movies (2014-2021) — well, you may or may not enjoy [Vaughn’s] latest action comedy, which takes a familiar premise and beats it to within an inch of its life over 139 long minutes. I’ve had headaches that were shorter and more pleasant.†—Ty Burr, the Washington Post
“As the film works its way up to a big, showy climax, full of colored smoke and choreography that’s half-dance, half-fighting, like capoeira in formal dress, it all starts to feel like one of those very expensive, very elaborate commercials for a pseudo-luxury product you don’t want to buy — a perfume perhaps, or some car. Maybe Scottish Fold cats.†—Leslie Felperin, The Hollywood Reporter
“This would-be wild ride tries to make heart-eyes at its own absurdity. Instead, it shrugs and reverts to upping the body count.†—Jesse Hassenger, IGN
“Argylle has bone-deep structural issues on a fundamental level, but it is also a failure of directorial execution from top to bottom, resulting in what has to be one of the most expensive worst movies ever made.†—Katie Walsh, the Los Angeles Times
“Let’s be fair and admit that at least Argylle starts off as good, goofy fun, a PG-13 change of pace from Vaughn’s usual R-rated roughhousing in Kick-Ass and Layer Cake. Vaughn says he wanted to make a movie his young daughters could see. The trouble is Argylle doesn’t know when to quit. At two hours and 19 minutes, it’s exhausting for kids of all ages.†—Peter Travers, Good Morning America
“There are several convenient twists this review will not divulge. But suffice to say, the more Vaughn tries to explain, the less fun this becomes (the inconsistent switching between color photography to black and white does not help matters).†—Robert Daniels, RogerEbert.com
“The feeling that we’re seeing a photocopy of a photocopy arises in part from Jason Fuchs’ screenplay, which could have been written by anyone with a hazy memory of a Bond film. Everywhere you look, there are details that need to be added, plot holes that need to be filled, and jokes that need to be improved.†—Nicholas Barber, BBC
“Cast to the hilt, the film proves inventively twisty if a little convoluted, with the modest disclaimer that it’s not as good as the trailer makes it look.†—Brian Lowry, CNN
“You may go into Argylle wondering, per the film’s curiosity-baiting tagline, who is the real Agent Argylle? But you’ll assuredly leave with a different question: Shouldn’t such a colossal waste of talent and precious time be illegal?†—David Fear, Rolling Stone