While this episode wasn’t particularly messy, it did feel like a mess, didn’t it? It felt as though most of this episode was left over from last week. We don’t learn anything new about our single stars, and they still haven’t introduced Tiffany! Instead, we pick up right where we left off in episode two. Literally, they drop us right in bed with Debbie and her new boy toy. It’s almost as if the cameras didn’t leave while they consummated their relationship. Debbie, I hope you realize you can ask the cameras to leave! You also don’t have to share details about the many, many orgasms you had!
If she’s doing it so Colt can be mad when he eventually watches these episodes, it’s a job well done. It’s still great to see Deb happy, but we still don’t know much about Tony. It turns out he has some pretty rad tattoos, but what is he really looking for here? Is Debbie just a good time, or does he want to move to Vegas to be with her? Debbie says they’re comfortable with each other and it’s easy to be open, but her friends are right to warn her that this is too much too fast!
Debbie might not know what love bombing is, but Tony is definitely rushing to tell her everything she wants to hear. Our girl has been out of the game too long to see this as a red flag! Either way, if Debbie’s friends don’t figure Tony out, Colt definitely will.
While Debbie forgets about her boundaries this week, Veronica realizes she might want to have boundaries. Her relationship with Tim is understandable since he acts as a father to her kid, but last week’s weird Tim-infused date was an overstep. I’m glad Jason called it out because it’s the kind of thing many people wouldn’t address. Jason easily could’ve started to resent Tim, but he’s actually communicating with Veronica. Do I think she got the message? Not really! She admits she and Tim have never had boundaries, and she wouldn’t even know what that looks like.
Tim isn’t helpful either since he actively hates Jason even though they only met once. It’s weirdly controlling on Tim’s part and doesn’t make him look great! Tim constantly tries to deny rumors he’s gay, but I think he must still be in love with Veronica. Last week, they revealed he tried for a year to get her back after their breakup. Maybe Tim really has been playing the long con this whole time. Still, Veronica has more chemistry with Jason during their kiss than I’ve ever seen her display with Tim. Sadly, Tim is annoying enough to drive Jason away. But … Veronica also gets upset that Tim agrees to distance. She’s acting as if Tim is ending their friendship when he’s just bringing up an issue they’ve both dealt with.
Natalie also discusses boundaries and letting her walls down this week. Josh introduces Natalie to his friends! Anyone else would see this as a good sign, but Natalie is far too defensive for that. Everything is an attack on Natalie’s relationship, and it’ll probably be a week before she accuses Josh of sleeping with his friends. Still, Josh’s friends offer her great advice! They tell her a relationship is like a Russian doll — you have to take it layer by layer. What does Natalie say to this? She says she’s not Russian; she’s Ukrainian. Then she gets offended that she thinks this girl is calling her Russian. It’s another Hall of Fame entry in the Natalie Museum of Misunderstandings.
With Natalie, we’re just waiting for the inevitable mix-up that will lead to her and Josh blowing up. This is perhaps the longest Natalie has gone in the show’s history without getting into a fight! Josh is drinking so much, eating meat, and having friends! These are all resentments that must be quietly building in Natalie. When she erupts, I can only hope the cameras are there. I’d feel bad for Josh, but let’s be honest: He’s on the show to promote himself! I think he’d be happy if it did work with Natalie, but he’s not going to lose any sleep when she eventually rips him apart. In her head, Josh is already playing games with her, but he doesn’t even realize there’s a game afoot.
Finally, there’s Caesar and his odd matchmaker multi-person date. The other guys quickly overshadow Caesar with dance moves and jokes. He’s rightfully worried that none of the women will be interested in him. But I don’t think Caesar’s shyness will be his downfall. The problem is that he has no idea how to represent himself. They ask him easy questions: Why do you want to date a Ukrainian woman? His answer: American women didn’t want me. This makes the Ukrainian women wonder why they didn’t want him and why he thinks a Ukrainian woman will!
There aren’t any obvious sparks between Caesar and the women, but some have scammer vibes. Do I think it’s more likely one of these women will maintain a long-distance relationship with Caesar for access to his money and never come to America? Yes! It’s not that I want Caesar to get played, but he’s too naïve for this to go any other way. We already know he doesn’t have the funds to give these women the lifestyle they want in America.
In this season’s quest for love, Debbie and Veronica are the only two who might find something real at this point. If Tania reappears with a divorce from Syngin, there might be hope for her, too! Also I’m biased because Tiffany is one of my favorites in the franchise, but I think she’ll shine when we get to her story. Everyone else is a delightful mess at this point.
90 Day Notes
• No Tania this week! Maybe her situationship already fizzled out and there’s not much story there? Probably because you still want Syngin, my girl.
• I cheered when Caesar took that hat off! Sadly, he put it back on.
• Tim truly seems angry that he and Veronica need to stop acting as if they’re married? Like, dude, aren’t you already dating someone?
• Tiffany is coming next week!
• Debbie, slow down. Nothing bad ever came from slowing down in a relationship! What do we think Tony’s weird secret will be? I’m going to guess he owns, like, ten dogs and he’s a hoarder or something.
• Kudos to Josh’s friends for just rolling with the “I’m not Russian†comment and not correcting Natalie. I think they realized there was no point.
• “You’re from Ukraine. That’s very far away.†“Yeah, I know.†Never change, Natalie! Don’t be an American girl!
• Caesar, stop hinting at your foot fetish. It was funny when he got jealous over Jerry’s very bad moonwalk, though.
• Do people really like rock-climbing dates?