Before we get into “Two Many Cooks,†I want to circle back to the topic of Ruan, who had an early departure last week after being caught with falsified certifications. He broke his silence on Instagram, explaining that he was scammed after extending the expiry dates and that he didn’t lie about his friend’s death, as many have accused him of doing. He added that he has since fixed his Yacht Master and now brings his originals on boats. I believe him about his friend, but as for his certifications, something’s still off. Is there a chance he was actually scammed? Absolutely! But the way he failed to accurately call a distance and stammered during his conversation with Captain Sandy still raises a red flag. I’ll give Ruan the benefit of the doubt since I don’t know him beyond his 15 minutes of fame, but I don’t think he would’ve lasted under Sandy’s watch anyway.
Alright, now let’s dive into the final day of our first charter. Several of the guests request over-easy and over-medium eggs for breakfast, which Jack doesn’t know how to make and believes is just a way for people to come across like they know stuff about food. No, babe, they’re just American. Kian eventually mentions to Natalya that, while talented, Jack sucks at properly cooking eggs. Google exists for a reason!
The plan to go jet skiing gets axed due to strong winds, so the guests decide to head to shore since they’re also feeling violently seasick. The solution to getting off a rocking boat? Spending, as Luka puts it, “ten minutes of torture†on a small tender that will make them feel the movement even more. Luka also informs them that if they want to puke, they can do it overboard since bags aren’t provided for some reason.
While the guests explore what stunning Portofino has to offer — churches, shopping, gelato — Natalya makes use of her last day as chief stew by stressing about being bumped back down to second. Jessika notices Natalya’s anxiety but notes that having a new chief stew is “for the best†since she doesn’t think Natalya is good at delegating tasks. I’ll give credit where it’s due: I think Natalya has done a pretty good job. I can’t blame her for feeling anxious over having to work under someone again after last year’s awful chief stew Natasha.
Once the guests return to the boat, they spend the rest of the day playing on the water toys. Captain Sandy’s impressed by the deck team’s efficiency and the fact that they got the dreaded water slide ready without any issues. Everyone loves that Luka isn’t a hothead like most people in his position, so maybe he’ll be a great bosun after all. Of course, they can’t go without some sort of problem, as Lara notices a boat line caught on the propeller. She swims down and unhooks it, confidently exclaiming in a confessional that she “handled it like a boss.†I feel like she still should’ve made Luka aware of it since it could have easily escalated into a dangerous situation.
Later, Sandy officially asks Luka to become full-time bosun, which he accepts with a smile despite the fact he’s probably shitting himself. Sandy says that in addition to witnessing Luka’s exceptional skills throughout this charter, his previous boss, Captain Jason’s recommendation played a huge role in her decision. Looks like she found herself the perfect underdog to micromanage. After finding out that Luka will be her boss, Haleigh calls him “daddy bosun,†which has a nice ring to it. As my favorite offscreen character Norma tells Sandy, we’ll also be getting a new deckhand next week, so fingers crossed he’s hot and not annoying.
For dinner, Jack decides to make a six-course tasting menu that documents his journey as a chef, from working in Michelin-star kitchens to cooking for locals around Asia. Who’s going to tell him he’s working on a yacht and not a contestant on Top Chef? Tasting menus are always a lot to take on, but he knocks it out of the park with delicious-looking dishes like truffle risotto, pork cheek with calvados sauce (whatever that is), and venison.
While the guests enjoy their meal, Natalya tasks Brooke with setting up for the EDM party, which she doesn’t even start before being told to take care of turndowns. When Haleigh’s asked to help decorate, she shares that she’s never decorated for a party in her life and doesn’t know what to do, so she just walks around the sundeck until Natalya and Jessika show up and realize that it hasn’t been transformed into a tacky rave. Trying to quickly set up before dinner ends, Natalya asks Jessika to lead the rest of the service, which Jessika doesn’t want to do because, remember, she’s a follower. She accidentally tells Brooke to pour the wrong wine for the guests and is overwhelmed in the galley. It’s all a shitshow, but the guests ultimately have fun and get hammered, so they consider it a success.
The next morning is guest departure day, but not before the deck team endures their first docking of the season. While hauling the anchor, they notice a random brick attached to it, so Luka has to use a kitchen knife to cut it off. The docking itself is successful, and the seemingly flawless deck team receives Sandy’s stamp of approval. Likewise, Lara loves that Luka is calm in stressful situations, adding that he’s so hot it makes her wish she was straight. It might be too early to tell, but Lara might be my favorite crew member so far.
Once the guests leave, it’s time for the first tip meeting, where Sandy praises the crew for making it through a tough first charter. She also expresses her excitement over having multiple women on the deck team because #girlpower. Her pal Kian left them $20,000, or $1,818 per person, which is a great start to the season and means that Sandy won’t have to look for a new doctor.
Then everyone is off to their first — or in Brooke’s case, only — night out in Genoa. They drink margs and get to know each other at dinner before hitting the club, where Natalya and Luka continue flirting with each other. The previous day, Natalya told us that her boyfriend of four months wants an open relationship but that she isn’t sure if it’s what she also wants since she developed feelings for him before he dropped the bomb on her. However, that isn’t stopping her from getting a little flirty with Luka who, based on his Instagram, seems to also be in an open relationship of sorts with his girlfriend of over four years. In a confessional, Natalya tells us that the “confusion is real†since she feels lust for Luka but love for her boyfriend. I can’t wait to see if this blossoms into an actual boatmance.
While the hungover crew spends the next morning cleaning the boat, Sprouts (the grocery store) heiress Brooke departs and shares that she loved her brief experience working on it. She may not have been here for long, but she seemed nice and, despite not knowing anything about working in the interior, did a decent job and avoided making any big mistakes, so props to her.
Then, what we’ve all been waiting for: Our queen, Tumi, makes her highly-anticipated arrival. Nature is healing! After working as a second stew on the first season of Below Deck Down Under, she’s been asked to work as Chief Stew for the first time in her short career. It’s a lot of pressure, especially since she’s the “new kid†on a vessel where everyone has already gotten to know each other. She tells us that when she met Kyle at the consulate a few weeks prior, he informed her that he and Natalya had “ups and downs†last season, so Tumi hopes she receives the respect she deserves. Not that Natalya is perfect, but Tumi should know better than to fully trust Kyle’s word, especially since he LOVES stirring the pot.
Once Tumi gets settled, Natalya shows her around the boat. During their conversation, Natalya praises Jack for being a great chef, and Tumi counters that it’s too early to tell since it’s only been one charter, which, true. When Natalya asks her what she thinks of Mustique, Tumi says the organization is a “shitshow†before adding that she meant the boat’s layout and not Natalya’s actual work. Natalya disagrees and explains that she thinks the boat’s setup is convenient, causing Tumi to argue that she was expressing her opinion and that Natalya shouldn’t get defensive. Natalya says she was just trying to share her thoughts and then gets annoyed when Tumi waves her hand in her face while trying to say that she was giving her opinion and “that’s that.†I blame this on Kyle and whatever shit-talking he did.
Tumi has only been on the boat for an hour, and she and Natalya are already at odds. This season is going to be an exhausting hot mess, and it’ll only get worse once Kyle arrives. Brace yourselves.
Update: Due to an editorial error, the final three paragraphs of this recap were omitted on initial publication. They have since been restored.