With the crisp transatlantic accent of a minor noble and the piercing blue eyes of a long-haired dachshund, Dan Stevens could have coasted through his acting career as so many London boys have before, playing foppish love interests or sneaky villains unmasked in the third act. No one would have held it against him — after all, the trajectory was set when he was cast as the dashing fish out of water Matthew Crawley in the period drama Downton Abbey. But by 2012, Stevens had to answer the call of Hollywood, and poor Matthew was promptly killed off in Downton’s holiday special, to the outrage of fans worldwide.
He could have been content booking the gigs that Tom Hiddleston turned down due to Marvel contractual obligations, but Stevens — who spent his downtime on the Downton Abbey set working on required reading for his role judging the Man Booker Prize — had other ideas. In the 12 years since his breakout on British telly, his career has been defined by a curious mix of genres, tempos, and formats, seeing him move with ease from playing a smooth-talking soldier with a violent streak to a transatlantic lothario in the Adam Sandler film about a magical cobbler — and rack up a delightfully vast audiobook empire in the process.
Like the great character actors of yesteryear, his charm lies in not just the way he disappears into a role but how he possesses a tremendous lack of vanity along with that ability. There’s a breathless wacky energy at play, an ineffable weirdness he sprinkles on each character like the perfect dusting of powdered sugar on a Victoria sponge. And now, as he racks up three more delightful cinematic turns as a Weird British Man in a single six-month period via Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire, Abigail, and Cuckoo, it’s a good time to take stock.
The Guest (2014)
Long before she had to concern herself with paranormal STDs or Nicolas Cage in a Party City wig, Maika Monroe’s troubles revolved around an unexpected visitor. In Adam Wingard’s sophomore thriller, Dan Stevens is a charming, well-mannered war vet who turns up like a lost puppy on the doorstep of a deceased colleague’s family. Believing him to be a down-on-his-luck patriot, the parents invite him in, and then all hell breaks loose. Does the plot make sense? Not really. But Steve Moore freaked it with the pumping synth score, the third act plays out like a John Carpenter video nasty, and Stevens has probably never been hotter, dead-eyed psychopath or not.
Weird Rating: 7/10 — He’s a walking red flag from the second he breaks a teenager’s nose without hesitating…but look at those abs! Whatever you say, gorgeous.
British Rating: -1/10 — Rock, flag and eagle!
Beauty and the Beast (2017)
Tale as old as time: A man struggling with his romantic life coerces a young woman into solving the problem. Plodding around on stilts and grumbling his way through the uncanny valley that is Disney’s catalog of lavish “live-action†remake, it’s unfortunate that the “realism†here ends up making Beast look like a rejected hockey mascot in a frock coat. Stevens did the mo-cap for Beast, and this behind-the-scenes photo is probably the best thing about the whole film. Not weird good, weird bad — and a crushing reminder that this is all Disney is interested in doing anymore, film-wise.
Weird Rating: 4/10 — It’s not weird that he’s a furry, it’s weird that he kidnaps a woman. Belle doesn’t need a library! She needs deprogramming!
British Rating: 5/10 — While set in France, Beast does unfortunately display a lot of archetypal Posh British Boy behavior.
Legion (2017-19)
We don’t have time to get into the extensive lore and myriad strangeness of Noah Hawley’s Marvel television series about Charles Xavier’s reality-shifting son (if you want to know more there is a very dedicated fanbase out there even five years after the show finished who would love to talk at you) but arguably Legion is where Stevens cemented his claim to being King of the Weird British Men - ignore the fact he’s playing an American – as a diagnosed schizophrenic who discovers he’s actually the most powerful mutant in the world. None of that is very weird by superhero standards, but Legion has one big thing the MCU is severely lacking: a wealth of choreographed dances and stirring musical interludes. And Stevens, oscillating between flighty haplessness and unnerving calculated cruelty, demonstrates the range that has served him so well in the years since.
Weird Rating: 10/10 – More inventive, interesting and often disturbing than most of Marvel’s cinematic output. Shame it’s probably not canon!
British Rating: 4/10 – A lot of Americans unfamiliar with Stevens didn’t clock his Britishness until they saw interviews, such is his technical work here, but he does nail a Patrick Stewart impression at one point.
Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga (2020)
Every so often my mum, who is not at all interested in movies, will call to tell me about a film she’s recently enjoyed. I distinctly remember her doing so for Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga because she was very impressed with Rachel McAdams’s singing (I didn’t have the heart to tell her it was dubbed) and she thought “the man from Downton†was “very funny.†As Russia’s flamboyant, tragically closeted Eurovision entry Alexander Lemtov, Stevens subverts the expectation that he is to be the film’s queer-coded villain, instead becoming a delightful comrade to Will Ferrell and McAdams’s Fire Saga. With his George Michael bouffant, single diamante earring, and brocade jackets worn without a shirt, he’s a sweetie with the voice of an angel. A baritone, bedazzled angel.
Weird Rating: 5/10 — Seems strange until you watch actual Eurovision and realize that’s just what everyone is like in Europe.
British Rating: 0/10 — The Russian accent work here is sublime. But it’s not British.
The Rental (2020)
There was a lot going on in 2020, so Dave Franco’s directorial debut might have passed you by, but it’s worth a look if you love shouting “Oh God, you’re all awful people!†at your screen. Stevens’s nice-guy tech bro Charlie goes on a weekend cabin retreat with his wife, his brother, and his business partner and brother’s girlfriend, only for twin concerns of relationship drama and an actual serial killer to disrupt the possibility of hot-tub canoodling. It’s not supposed to be a film about empathizing with a voyeuristic murderer, but that’s the beauty of artistic interpretation!
Weird Rating: 2/10 — The strangest thing about Stevens’s character is how he decides to impulsively book an online rental with no reviews. It’s like he wanted to get murdered?
British Rating: 0/10 — Playing generic American fuckboy with ease.
Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts (2020–21)
Have you ever seen a talking monkey play the piano? If you said “yes,†you’re either familiar with Kipo and the Age of the Wonderbeasts or have some serious intel the WWF might be interested in. This charming, underrated animated Dreamworks series about a postapocalyptic world where animals have taken over sees Stevens (something of a voicework veteran) play Scarlemagne, an egomaniacal mandrill who likes classical music, mind control, rococo fashion, and plotting to enslave what’s left of humanity. He is very evil and very stylish, as the best villains tend to be.
Weird Rating: 6/10 — Even by the standards of a postapocalyptic mutant-animal-hybrid future, Scarlemagne is doing too much.
British Rating: 8/10 — Do not worry about the rationale behind Scarlemagne’s British accent. It makes sense.
I’m Your Man (2021)
Considering the way ChatGPT has been foisted upon society and the fact that celebrities like MrBeast have already sold their likenesses to Meta for AI chatbots, the concept of a sexy robot boyfriend isn’t really as weird as it might have been, say, ten or 20 years ago. But Maria Schrader’s offbeat romantic comedy about a scientist who reluctantly becomes involved in a testing program for an affable, unblinking humanoid robot companion called Tom (played by Stevens, who speaks fluent German, by the way!) utilizes those unnervingly blue eyes and Stevens’s uncannily handsome face to winning effect, and he embodies an android striving to be the perfect man with alarming ease.
Weird Rating: 9/10 — Once Silicon Valley figures out how to make robots look like Dan Stevens, it’s so over.
British Rating: 3/10 — A German film in which he’s playing a German robot speaking German, but a lot of British men have a similarly odd and awkward approach to romance.
The Boy and the Heron (2023)
The chatter around the American dub for Hayao Miyazaki’s soaring, sublime fantasy epic mainly revolved around the casting of two other great Weird Men, Robert Pattinson and Willem Dafoe, who voice the titular Heron and “Noble Pelican.†But don’t sleep on Stevens, who plays a literal man-eating parakeet, proving there are no small parts as he brings laudable gravitas to the hungry bird. Stevens loves Studio Ghibli — he voiced a talking cat in the English dub of Earwig and the Witch — and he didn’t mind taking a tiny part in The Boy and the Heron, because it meant he got to see the film early. A 4-D chess move.
Weird Rating: 7/10 — Not that weird in the Ghibli scheme of things, but I haven’t looked at the parakeets in my neighborhood the same way since.
British Rating: 9/10 — Anyone who has ever experienced the vicious wild parakeets of London will experience a horrifying pang of recognition.
“The Outside,†Guillermo del Toro’s Cabinet of Curiosities (2023)
Hey, are you an ugly weirdo? Of course you are — but don’t worry, there’s a cream for that! Try Alo Glo, the only skin-care product that transforms your body, mind, and soul. (May cause all your skin to fall off.) Touted through the television screen by Stevens’s smooth-talking Alo Glo Man, who sports a bright white suit and a matching spectacular head of hair, it’s the solution to all of socially awkward Stacey’s (Kate Micucci) problems. She’s sold on it after her lovingly crafted taxidermy duck is ridiculed by her mean co-workers. “It hurts when it works,†Alo Glo Man tells her calmly as her skin breaks out in a painful rash. And it doesn’t get any better from there.
Weird Rating: 5/10 — He’s not the weirdest part of the episode, but Stevens does look just like Uncle Baby Billy from The Righteous Gemstones.
British Rating: 6/10 — If Dan Stevens started talking to me through my television, I’d probably make some questionable life choices too.
Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire (2024)
Two words: Monster Dentist. When we meet Trapper, the Hawaiian-shirt-wearing cockney cryptoveterinarian who plays a pivotal role in stopping giant apes from taking over the earth, he’s lip-syncing to Greenflow’s “I Got’Cha†and spelunking into Kong’s mouth to pull out his infected tooth. Compared at different points to Dr. Doolittle and Ace Ventura, he’s absolutely the movie’s stock comic-relief character, but Stevens delivers with such commitment and panache that he is unequivocally the best thing about the film. Trapper is kind to all creatures, even mosquitos; he’s an expert in giant monkey prosthetics; and he quotes Tennyson on the fly. In a just world, there would be a spinoff series about the adventures of Trapper and Discord-moderating conspiracy theorist Bernie Hayes (the equally charming Brian Tyree Henry) as they bicker and banter their way through the Hollow Earth, advising more giant monkeys on their oral hygiene.
Weird Rating: 8/10 — Trapper is pretty weird, but the film opens with Kong ripping a giant warthog in two with his bare hands, so it’s all relative.Â
British Rating: 10/10 — Crikey! Blimey! Bloody hell!
Abigail (2024)
This schlocky kidnap-thriller-slash-vampire-horror seemed to come out of nowhere earlier this year when suddenly everyone was gushing about its gleeful gore and Stevens’s performance as a crooked Brooklyn cop with cool glasses and a serious attitude problem. It’s probably the most dastardly he’s ever been, snarling, snickering, and freely bullying a child even before realizing she’s a centuries-old vampire, but there’s no doubt that Stevens steals the show, chewing on the scenery like that sweet little girl chews on everyone’s necks. Frank is the guy you pick up at 1 a.m. in the worst bar in Bushwick, wake up next to, cringe, and text your friend about. “Oh girl, not creepy Frank …†they reply, followed by a “:/†face in a separate message. They’re not mad, just disappointed. You kick Frank out of your apartment, order a shame burrito, and start Googling therapists. We’ve all been there.
Weird Rating: 9/10 — Stevens plays it as Lestat by way of Bad Lieutenant. Perfect. No notes.
British Rating: 4/10 — Culturally a crooked Brooklyn cop, spiritually a conniving British villain, always and forever.
Cuckoo (2024)
Don’t you hate it when you move to the Alps and it turns out the guy who owns the local ski lodge is a flute-playing German bird enthusiast who keeps talking about breeding? Bad news for Gretchen (a luminous, badass Hunter Schaffer), whose family enters into business with the affable alpine flautist Herr König, who creeps around the resort in sensible knitwear making cryptic statements and smiling with the unblinking gaze of a man who would cheerfully murder you and whistle a jaunty tune while burying the body. Remarkably, Gretchen is the only one who seems to be unnerved by any of this. It’s a shame no one matches Stevens’s freak in Cuckoo — not even writer-director Tilman Singer — but he’s having the time of his life with his flute and tasteful beige wardrobe and long, lilting monologues about ornithology.
Weird Rating: 7/10 — Although, to be fair, I did live in Germany for a year and no one tried to murder me (to my knowledge).
British Rating: 1/10 — As German as Dampfnudeln.