At approximately 10 p.m. U.K. time on October 26, screams emanating from a pink-carpeted East London warehouse might just have been audible in the U.S. There, in front of a crowd of 1,000 people, the news was exclusively dropped: Real Housewives of London is finally on its way, expected in late 2025.
Casting for the newest franchise is already under way — Caroline Stanbury is no doubt packing her bags in Dubai already — but the shock announcement was the climax to the inaugural Hayu FanFest, a feverish, one-day event from the British reality TV streamer that celebrated all things Bravoverse. And they made it nice: Guests sipped on Dorit’s signature cocktail from the bar (vodka soda; three lemons; carcass out) while they wandered around an exhibition of Housewives objets d’art featuring ugly leather trousers, a plastic-wrapped toy bunny, and a single cigarette proffered in a mannequin’s hand, mentally conjuring up the withering prediction: “He will never emotionally fulfill you.â€
Devoid of the real-deal BravoCon this year — it’s officially taking a year off, to be relaunched next year in Las Vegas — this was the next best way to get an up-close-and-personal reality fix, and it was a very British version of the fans’ favorite day of the year on both sides of the pond.
Andy Cohen stepped into his usual Bravo Daddy duties, although he was the one being grilled on the night for a change — he just about made it through his onstage session with an incredibly hoarse voice. It must have been a heavy night, as he told the audience he’d been to see the ABBA Voyage hologram concert the night before with Southern Charm’s Craig Conover and Austen Kroll. (Side note: To anyone London-bound, I cannot stress enough how good the ABBA gig is.)
The ever-charming host and friend of Vulture Brian Moylan led perhaps the juiciest of all the talks, quizzing all the Housewives in the house: Lisa Barlow (Salt Lake City), Ashley Darby (Potomac), Sutton Stracke (Beverly Hills), and Jessel Taank (new-gen RHONY). In the spirit of Great British stand-up, there were some choice heckles from the crowd, but it mainly consisted of resorting to Sutton’s “NAME ’EM†moment, a handy phrase to scream out when someone was holding back on the tea. Anyway, here’s the biggest stories we gleaned from the night, ranked according to how loudly the crowd gasped:
RHONY had to be cut short because of … a mysterious event?
“All right, I’m going to drop a bomb,†Jessel announced in her chat with Sutton. “Our season that is currently airing, we actually had to cut filming short. Someone got put on a plane and someone got shipped to a hotel …†When asked what exactly this meant, all she would divulge was this: “One went on a plane, one went to a hotel, and we couldn’t film anymore.†A fight? Someone left their passport behind? I dunno, someone put a real cockroach on their dessert? Who can say? Either way, this intel might — might — just be enough to keep us tuning in for the rest of the season.
Ashley suggests Karen Huger might be going to jail …
Karen’s still yet to tell the ladies what really went down when she got that DUI, but that sure as hell isn’t going to stop them from speculating before her sentencing. Asked who might be in for a hard time at the reunion, Ashley said, “Mia, and I would also say Karen. Karen might be wearing orange sometime soon.†And I … ooop!
Dorit is this season’s villain, and she has a big falling-out with Sutton
The RHOBH season-14 trailer was the cause of death for a good percentage of viewers when it came out last week, but, according to Sutton, “It didn’t tell the whole story.†Which is that Dorit is clearly the villain this season. She added, “I think it’s going to be a lot of Dorit versus … everyone. It’s a lot of Dorit versus Kyle, but I think it’s a lot of Dorit versus Sutton.†Then: no letup on the Beverly Beach entrepreneur! Who’s the biggest diva this season? “Dorit.†Housewife who causes the most drama this season? “Dorit.†Yikes. Perhaps it was the memory of Sutton equating her stress levels of a French designer being late to her party to being robbed at gunpoint …
And on that, Sutton says she’s really, really sorry
“I have one that I will always regret,†Sutton said, “and it’s the day of Dorit’s break-in; that was a real low moment for me. It was just the worst thing I could ever say, and that’s it. I’ll own it forever.†A touching moment, punctured by someone in the crowd screaming out, “How’s your esophagus??†Still the same, apparently: still narrow. “But I’m not getting it stretched!†she added defiantly.
Lisa Barlow says it’s “impossible†to forgive Whitney
Go off, Lisa. When asked how her relationship with Whitney Rose is — audience: “I’ll tell ya … not well, bitch!†— she said, “With Whitney, she keeps accusing me of things I don’t do. The list is endless.†And then she named ’em: “Season one, I felt taken advantage of; season two, she lied about me more; season three, she accused me of sleeping with my business partner …†The list goes on. But then she revealed how bad things have really got: “This season will be impossible — or close to impossible — to make up with Whitney. Not only does she lie about me, but she brings John into it, and it’s not just walking up to her husband and saying, ‘How do you deal with a liar,’ it’s way more than that.â€
Alcohol is banned at RHOP reunions … but not RHOSLC
There was a lot of chat about how the reunions work (Ashley revealed that Wendy once brought in a full-on poster-presentation to the reunion, but she wasn’t allowed to use it), and the day is loooong, often lasting from 6 a.m. to 10 p.m. But pour one out for the Potomac gals. Or don’t, as Ashley says alcohol is banned from their catch-ups: “They literally watch us like hawks; they check our dressing rooms and everything. We drink after … heavily.†Not a problem for our Salt Lakers: Lisa revealed, “We literally have cocktails in styrofoam cups†while filming. Her Vida Tequila brand, presumably.
Lisa on Jen apparently buddying up with Elizabeth Holmes in the slammer
Speaking of Lisa, I managed to sneak in a little side chat with her, and she has some thoughts about Jen Shah … like, does she think Jen will come back to SLC when she gets out of prison? Would she want her to come back? “If you asked me if I’d rather have Monica [Garcia, a.k.a. Reality Von Tease] or Jen back, I’d say neither, as they both did really damaging things,†she said. “If I had to pick one, though, I would pick Jen hands down over Monica. I think Jen is capable of making her future; she is a manifester. I mean, I don’t think she manifested prison, but we’re gonna hear what her prison life is like, I’m sure.â€
And what does she make of reports that Jen and Elizabeth Holmes have been hanging out in prison? “I mean, that’s so on-brand for Jen. I think the thing that viewers didn’t get to see was that she was so chaotic, so damaging, but she was also really loving, and there were things about her that when anyone met her, they instantly loved her. She had that likability factor, and not everybody does. There’s a reason we all backed her for a long time.â€
And with that, it was back to the selfies, the ticker tape, and the fanfare of the Real Housewives of London announcement. Have no fear: Our ladies will be bringing the British chaos to the real BravoCon next year!