Astute viewers know that if any episode begins with Emily going for a run, her life is about to change. She is text-flirting with Marcello, except she’s terrible at it — responding to the sexy I’m-in-bed pic with a “sorry for waking you up� Good lord — but this does not dissuade the Italian stallion, who is too smitten to care.
Emily returns from her run to find, as we all expected, that Gabriel told Genevieve about the opening in his apartment building even though he surely has no interest in dating her and is going to act like her expectations (namely, that he’ll want to spend time with her) were completely unreasonable and came from nowhere. For now, he’s helping her lug her suitcases up the stairs. He spends this whole episode acting like he is completely helpless to simply reject or decline any of what Genevieve is throwing at him, despite being at least a decade older than she is.
Pain awaits us in the girls’ apartment, where Mindy is in an absolutely horrendous outfit: a turquoise leather bomber-ish thing with these giant rhinestones that look like they’re attacking her, and also a necklace that’s a fabric rose and pink patterned leggings and green boots? Isn’t it, like, 9 a.m.? Somehow, this sartorial disaster is the least of her problems: Her Eurovision promo is out, and she knows Nico won’t like it. The good news is Mindy is not so distracted by this that she cannot tell Emily to go to Rome. Emily is pushed over the edge into this correct decision by overhearing Genevieve and Gabriel confirm they’ll see each other the following night at the party Genevieve somehow already has enough friends, both locally and in from New York for the weekend, to host.
Emily’s work look is very Britney doing Robert Palmer in that perfect Pepsi commercial. You know, I don’t hate it. Do I love it as much as Sylvie’s metallic halter? No, but I am not repulsed by it as I am by Camille’s early-aughts-type long skinny scarf that looks like a sentient doily trying to strangle its wearer. Camille’s behavior, as usual, makes no sense — how she feels about Emily is basically always a mystery unless she is forced to articulate it, and even then, her expressions and tone convey zero significance — but she is here to tell Emily that she wants to adopt a baby and to encourage Emily to follow her bliss as well. I hope both of these women, and all women watching this program, recognize that the path toward bliss is away from men like Gabriel. As she leaves, Camille asks, “You really think it’s over between you two?,†to which I shouted out loud, “Oh my God, Emily, you have Marcello begging you to fuck him. Get over your loser chef before I riot!!â€
Because the people on the television can hear me when I cry, Emily asks Sylvie for a vacation day. Sylvie susses out that Emily is going to Rome and, in a fun little role reversal, wants Emily to turn her weekend fling into a work trip. Emily pretends she is actually going to Krakau, and I thought Sylvie always knew she was lying about that, but later on we will learn that Emily’s weak attempt at subterfuge fooled Sylvie … Doesn’t seem likely to me, but let’s not dwell on it; we’re off to Italy!
As Emily lands in Rome, I think about how these recaps would really benefit from an on-the-ground touch. Imagine how much more vivid these already impassioned dispatches would be if I were filing them from the ground! Does anyone at Netflix want to arrange this? :)
Emily looks very cute in her little Italian travel fit — the scarf in the hair, the lipstick, and the earrings are all on point. Marcello is here to take care of every last detail of her stay. You know what that means: It’s time for the Mary-Kate- and Ashley-style special wherein a hot boy gives a tour of a beautiful city on his Vespa! Emily makes a wish at the Trevi fountain; she talks about Gladiator; she is convinced to keep her phone in her pocket. Marcello has a childhood best friend with a restaurant where they simply must eat, and we are treated to a near-pornographic food montage. (This is the closest thing we will ever get to a sex scene on this show.) I just hope she reapplied her sunscreen. Her pale shoulders in that Italian sun are making me nervous.
Whenever Emily and Marcello are about to make out, they are interrupted, like in some Disney Channel Original Movie. Also, Emily, miraculously, is never pickpocketed despite keeping all of her money in a backpack that she frequently removes from her person entirely and leaves behind her while engaged in conversation. Emily says, “This city is so beautiful!†so that the season hits its quota of lines like that. It’s very interesting that she is even allowed to say such a thing about a city that isn’t Paris … the titular city! I assumed such a thing was contractually forbidden. I mock, but it’s all quite delightful, and I wrote in my notes, “Wow, this show really picks up for Emily when Gabriel isn’t around to drag her down.â€
Marcello invites Emily to spend the next day with him at his family house in the countryside. As if she has any other plans! While they’re chatting on the Spanish steps, who shows up but Bianca from Bravazza, who snaps a quick selfie (rookie mistake, Emily!) and implores Emily to “say ciao to Luc for me.â€
Back in Paris, Nico still wants to be CEO, but he is shut down by his brother, whose argument is “I am the eldest boy,†plus the gossip from Mindy, Benoit, and Eurovision is making a mess of Nico’s PR. Nico meets Mindy for dinner, where she is wearing a giant red loofah over a dress whose middle has been entirely cut out. He gets right to it: He wants Mindy to drop out of Eurovision. He is game to help her make any music-industry connections she wants but “can’t put up with this nonsense.†Mindy realizes she has fallen into a humiliating pattern: accidentally dating someone exactly like her dad. (This is probably part of why she was drawn to him in the first place, no? Something fun for her to examine in therapy!) She does an excellent job of standing up for herself — it probably helps that she’s had some practice and made this exact same speech to her dad once upon a time — complete with “If that threatens or upsets you, then you don’t deserve to have me in your life.†Well, it’s better to have an insane outfit and sound logic than the other way around.
Over at Agence Grateau, Genevieve has gone full Single White Female, sitting at Emily’s desk to “keep it warm†while she’s away. Naturally, she outs Emily as not being in Krakau but in Rome. Julien reports that JVMA is desperate to acquire Marcello’s family business; Sylvie, in a skirt with a slit all the way up her thigh, knows this would be a disaster for this exceptional brand, given how JVMA treated Pierre Cadault. Sort of feels like the case against JVMA makes itself (see: ousted CEO, untested sons clawing for the crown; it’s not like the Pierre debacle was private — did they not dish out public humiliation for JVMA already with their publicity stunt at Laurent G?) but Sylvie’s sense is that she must intervene, ASAP. So she violates one of her cardinal rules: She calls Emily on vacation. However, she has trained her mentee too well, and Emily refuses to work on her holiday. Good for you, Emily!
Now for a tale of two parties. Gabriel looks mostly miserable at Genevieve’s soirée, which he was strong-armed into attending. He is at least ten years too old to be here and it shows, though he does enjoy some spirited beer pong and winds up getting kissed on the lips by Genevieve in a way that I expect she later will play off as romantically promising (when she mentions it to Emily in a fake gesture of friendship) no matter what Gabriel says. The party where Marcello takes Emily is clearly the winner of the two. I like Emily’s hand-shaped hair clip, but I hate the giant rosette on her dress and am confused by the overall look, which includes gloves. It just seems like a very impractical and odd choice for the nightclub — I’m not a stickler for practicality in these parts, but in this case, I found this a little distracting — and also perhaps an excessive amount of polka dots. Emily says she doesn’t want to sleep, and I’m like, Gee, if only there were something you could do instead!!! But Marcello puts her in a cab so she’s rested for their early-morning trip to the village.
In her hotel room that night, Emily finds a bottle of Champagne from Sylvie. In front of her hotel the next morning, Emily finds the actual Sylvie, who has arrived to ruin her trip. When Marcello shows up to give Emily a ride to the family home, Sylvie insists that they need to talk business; Marcello, horrified, thinks Emily was just using him to land an account. Even knowing as he does about her formative trauma re: being abandoned in a crucial moment by a boyfriend, Marcello ditches Emily without waiting for an explanation. Emily is livid but Sylvie assures her that this was the only call. “This is bigger than you, Emily.â€
So much juicy plot! Such great character moments! And we’re clocking in at exactly 28 minutes for the episode. What did I tell you? Much like Sylvie, if I may say so myself, I promise I know what I’m talking about.