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Frankensteins, Ranked by Horniness

Photo-Illustration: Vulture; Photos: Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images, 20th Century Fox/Everett Collection, David Appleby/Gamma-Rapho via Getty Images, Searchlight Pictures

Like any era-defining work of literature, Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein; or, the Modern Prometheus works on multiple levels. Is it a religious allegory? A treatise on scientific ethics? The author processing her experiences with death and childbirth as only the original goth girl could? Yes, yes, and yes.

It follows, then, that cinematic adaptations of the novel would also approach the material from different angles. Some, like the 1973 Spanish film The Spirit of the Beehive, follow in the melancholy footsteps of James Whale’s iconic 1931 take on Shelley’s story. Others seize on the gruesome terror of the “science gone amok†theme, like the recent New York indies Depraved (2019) and Birth/Rebirth (2023). Frankenstein was even part of the dark ‘n’ gritty action/horror hybrid trend of the 2010s, bringing us weird curios like Frankenstein’s Army (2013) and I, Frankenstein (2014).

Yet other filmmakers pick up on the thread of romantic longing Whale introduced in 1935 with The Bride of Frankenstein, leading to films like Edward Scissorhands (1990) in which the monster becomes a sentimental anti-hero. That dovetails with the oddest and most colorful interpretation of the Frankenstein mythos: Ones where the monster, their creator, or both are possessed by throbbing, animalistic lust. For such a lonely and existential story (not to mention one that revolves around corpses and grave-robbing), sexually charged interpretations of Frankenstein are more common than one might think.

While romance is built into the Gothic nature of the tale, the erotic appeal of Frankenstein is not as obvious as that of Dracula, with his hypnotic stare and eternal devotion. The monster as Shelley imagined him does desire a mate, but he’s more interested in being understood than getting laid. Stripped to their symbolic essence, the erotics of Frankenstein are about the body as meat, electrified by carnal pleasure and unencumbered by the soul. If, in Christian doctrine, the soul’s purpose is to transcend the body, then a soulless creature has no sin to commit. Taken one way, this opens up a path of sexual liberation that reflects Shelley’s lineage as the daughter of a famous feminist. Another goes down a taboo road into the darkest of paraphilias.

Bella Baxter, the sexually liberated, undead heroine of Yorgos Lanthimos’ Poor Things, represents the libertine side of this equation, incorporating sexuality into Bella’s arc towards fulfillment. She keeps company with hucksters, skin peddlers, and monster kids, all of whom had unencumbered access to Shelley’s novel — if not Boris Karloff’s interpretation of it. Frankenstein the novel passed into the public domain long before Universal got ahold of it. But the monster’s makeup from the 1931 film – green skin, flat head, neck fitted with metal bolts – is still copyrighted. That leads to some interesting variations in the creature’s look, some just different enough to appease Universal’s lawyers.

In a way, it’s a triumph of the human spirit: As a species, we can make anything horny.

15.

The Male Gaze, The Bride (1985)

The Bride picks up where The Bride of Frankenstein leaves off, constructing a four-sided polygon of frustrated longing involving Baron Charles Frankenstein (Sting), his original Monster (Clancy Brown), the female creation he names Eva (Jennifer Beals), and the man who catches Eva’s eye (Cary Elwes). Despite that amazing — and very ‘80s — cast, The Bride was poorly reviewed upon its release, and has since fallen into obscurity. A bizarre subplot where Clancy Brown’s Monster joins the circus is a big contributor to that, but the biggest issue is that the horniness here just doesn’t connect. In fact, the lustiest relationship is between its lead actress and the implied male gaze of the audience — as demonstrated by a heavily shadowed, obviously body-doubled nude scene early on in the film.

14.

Victor Frankenstein and Alys, The Horror of Frankenstein (1970)

Hammer’s tongue-in-cheek remake of its own The Curse of Frankenstein takes the wink-wink, nudge-nudge sexuality of the series to bawdy heights. Here, Victor Frankenstein (Ralph Bates) is a posh womanizer and stone-cold sociopath. He lies constantly, murders his own father to gain access to the Frankenstein fortune, and — most importantly for our purposes — treats the family bed wench, Alys (Kate O’Mara) like a piece of property. Alys is 16 when Victor leaves Frankenstein Castle and 22 when he returns, noting that she’s “put on weight in a couple of places†in his absence. (This is a cleavage-forward film.) Poor Alys has the misfortune of being jealous when an upper-class woman starts romancing Victor, although neither of them can compete with the young Doctor’s true love: himself.

13.

Victor Frankenstein, Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein (1994)

Produced two years after Bram Stoker’s Dracula, Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein shares a few things — lush production values, fidelity to the novel, ambient horniness — with its predecessor. But, frankly, it just isn’t as good. Compared to the swooning Gothic romance of Francis Ford Coppola’s Dracula, Kenneth Branagh’s Frankenstein is just too perverse — in an unsettling way. But it tries, slathering Branagh’s grimy, shirtless Victor Frankenstein and Robert De Niro’s nude Monster in what’s supposed to be amniotic fluid (it looks more like K-Y jelly) and filming the two grappling on the floor of the Doctor’s steampunk lab. Compared to that homoerotic spectacle, Victor’s romance with his adopted sister Elizabeth (Helena Bonham Carter) is bloodless. Their not-technically-incestuous relationship does culminate with a tasteful wedding night sex scene, but that’s spoiled when it takes a turn for the (nec)romantic.

12.

Dr. Maria Frankenstein and Igor, Jesse James Meets Frankenstein’s Daughter (1966)

Technically, Dr. Maria Frankenstein (Narda Onyx) is the OG doctor’s granddaughter. That’s one of the least brain-breaking things about this 1966 “B†movie programmer, which mashes up two popular genres of its time: Gothic horror and Westerns. The backstory here is that the Frankensteins have re-established themselves in the Old West, a desirable location for its lack of regulatory oversight and frequent lightning storms. (The fact that it’s full of hunky outlaws is a bonus.) Dr. Maria claims she needs a “brute†who’s “strong like a giant†for her experiments, so his body will survive the electric shock. But her lusty eyes roving over the musclebound gunslinger soon to be known as Igor (Cal Bolder) betray her true intentions. What does Jesse James have to do with all of this, you ask? Don’t worry about it.

11.

The Monster and Elizabeth, Young Frankenstein (1974)

Mel Brooks’ classic monster-movie parody is bawdy, but in a PG kind of way. (Maybe PG-13, if such a rating had existed in 1974.) That being said, this is the first appearance on this list by a monster who actually gets laid. After escaping from Frankenstein’s lab at the beginning of the film, Peter Boyle’s Monster finds his mate after a magical night literally rolling in the hay with Elizabeth (Madeline Kahn), lab assistant to Dr. Frederick Frankenstein (Gene Wilder) and the film’s kooky sexpot character. The two make sweet, baying music together, and soon they’re shacked up in Frankenstein’s Castle, where Elizabeth installs two hampers in their bathroom — one for his shirts and one “for socks and poo-poo undies.†Don’t let the domesticity fool you, however. Their relationship is electric, as you can see from Elizabeth’s hair.

10.

Teen-Age Monster, I Was A Teenage Frankenstein (1957)

In the opening of this 1957 bargain-bin drive-in picture, a mid-century WASP patriarch in the Man in the Gray Flannel Suit mold (Whit Bissell) plucks the body of a student athlete (Gary Conway) from a flaming bus crash. Once revived, the Doctor sets out to mold his creation, basically a shirtless boy in a paper-mache mask, into a perfect specimen — which here seems to mostly involve weightlifting. The camp value of the dialogue — the “English†Doctor likes to monologue about the cultural superiority of Europe in a perfect newscaster American accent, for one – keeps the rank misogyny from weighing the film down too much. But it’s most interesting as a homoerotic artifact, given the swole creature’s influence on Rocky in The Rocky Horror Picture Show (more on him later).

9.

Literally Everyone, Lust for Frankenstein (1998)

There’s a lot of simulated sex in Lust for Frankenstein. But “horny†isn’t quite the word for what’s going on here. If you open your third eye, it’s kind of sweet: 18 years into their relationship, director Jesús “Jess†Franco cast his wife Lina Romay — a ‘70s sex symbol by this point long since passed into the “practical haircut and cotton panties†phase of her life — in the lead role of this softcore sex film. It’s nice when couples stay hot for one another, you know? But the fact is that Franco’s once-evident talent had devolved to the point where much of the movie is so backlit that you can’t tell what’s going on. ‘80s scream queen Michelle Bauer does her best in a mostly thankless, mostly nude role, but the whole thing is just kind of sad. And what’s with “Frankenstein’s Ghost,†a guy with dreads who looks like he’d be selling meth outside of a Korn concert?

8.

Also Everyone, but Especially Eve, Bikini Frankenstein (2010)

The only reason that Bikini Frankenstein does not rank higher on this list is because putting a softcore porno at the top would feel like cheating. The film’s chiseled himbo doctor and his pouty blonde assistant spend most of their time slapping pasties, but even they can’t keep up with their creation Eve (Jayden Cole), who doesn’t even make it off of the slab before she pulls the assistant onto it for a lesbian scene (complete with saxophone music). Cole’s frisky, curious performance as Eve is honestly a delight, and the low-rent settings (the Crock Pot in the kitchen of a “Carpathian castle†is an amusing touch) and corny dialogue combine to make this a good-naturedly horny watch, once you get into the spirit of it. But the best bit comes at the end, as an extended threesome scene pays accidental homage to the queer sci-fi classic Liquid Sky. 

7.

Lily Frankenstein, Penny Dreadful (2014-2016)

Showtime’s premium-cable take on the public-domain horror icons of the Victorian era has two Monsters. First, Victor Frankenstein (Harry Treadaway) revives Caliban (Rory Kinnear), the original-recipe melancholy male creature. Then he creates Lily (Billie Piper), a woman whose lust — for power and sex — immediately outstrips that of her moody mate. And so she runs off, leaving Caliban to brood as Lily explores the finer points of sadism with the show’s chief sinner, Dorian Gray (Reeve Carney). Lily’s arc of self-awakening has similarities to that of Poor Things’ Bella Baxter, in a fin de siècle romantic Satanist kind of way. The chief difference between them is that Lily rejects humanity rather than embracing it, becoming a villain in the process.

6.

Bella Baxter, Poor Things (2023)

Bella Baxter (Emma Stone), the reanimated heroine of Yorgos Lanthimos’ Poor Things, has the most agency out of the creatures on this list. She’s not ruled by her primordial urges, but incorporates them into a larger personal quest for knowledge and enlightenment. Bella discovers her body’s capacity for pleasure early on in her second go-round at life, and the shock and distaste with which human society greets its public display soon after. (Not that it matters.) But there’s a guilelessness to everything Bella does, a trust in the universe and an insatiable curiosity about humanity. There’s also a detachment, and she watches her own erotic adventures from a quizzical distance when she makes a new discovery — that Parisian men will pay her for what she’s been doing for free with Duncan Wedderbottom (Mark Ruffalo) this whole time. Emotion doesn’t factor into Bella’s attitude towards sex, just intellect and primordial drive.

5.

Elizabeth Shelley, Frankenhooker (1990)

Although they’re played by the same actress, the title character of Frank Henenlotter’s neon New York horror-comedy Frankenhooker is not the same person as Elizabeth Shelley (Patty Mullen) — most of her, anyway. Elizabeth is the budding mad doctor’s fiancee, who’s dismembered under the blades of a rogue lawnmower in the opening scene of the film. Frankenhooker is the patchwork consequence of her death, as Jeffrey Franken (James Lorinz) puts Elizabeth’s head on a body stitched together from the limbs of Times Square sex workers. There’s nothing politically correct about this movie, but scenes like the one where

Jeffrey is surrounded by exploding women smoking “supercrack†are too outrageous to be taken seriously. With her highlighter-purple wig and greasepaint scars, Mullen throws herself into a very silly role, traversing the virgin/whore divide with slapstick enthusiasm. She’s liable to attack any man she sees, but beware, fellas: She’s electric, in more ways than one.

4.

Caligrosto and Friends, La maldición de Frankenstein (a.k.a The Curse of Frankenstein, The Erotic Rites of Frankenstein) (1973)

Although it’s not obvious from Lust for Frankenstein, there was a time when Jess Franco had talent as a director. That talent is evident in La maldición de Frankenstein, a film that combines all the pleasures of a good ‘70s Euro-horror picture: Classic monsters, gothic atmosphere, sinister cults, and full bush. Here, Dr. Frankenstein (Dennis Price) — who spends much of the film as a corpse on a slab, jolted back to life for a few minutes whenever someone wants to chat — and his daughter Vera (Beatriz Savon) are the good guys. They’re fighting to save their silver-skinned Monster from the clutches of the evil wizard Caligrosto (Howard Vernon) and his lust-crazed bird-woman sidekick, who kidnaps women for kinky occult rituals in the basement of Caligrosto’s place. It’s all very atmospheric — one key advantage of Europe is that they actually have castles to shoot these movies in. And Franco’s direction is hypnotic, lulling viewers into a state where it all makes a dreamy sort of tits-out sense.

3.

Tania Frankenstein, Lady Frankenstein (1971)

Lady Frankenstein apes the look of a Hammer Horror production, but its black-leather perversity marks it as pure Italian B-movie. Rosalba Neri stars as the title character, a woman scientist in an era — both within the world of the film, and at the time of its creation — where patriarchal condescension makes her a novelty at best. (Sample dialogue: “I may be a woman, but I’m also a doctor!â€) Here, the Monster is a rampaging beast, with a look that blends The HIlls Have Eyes with ‘50s sci-fi cheese. The kinky part is the scientific cuckolding, as Tania manipulates Dr. Charles Marshall (Paul Muller) into letting her remove his brain and put it in a more attractive man’s body so he can finally have a chance with her. Tania’s single-minded lust ranks her high on this list: While monsters rampage through the countryside, she’s getting choked out on a bear rug by her hybrid lover. Good for her?

2.

Rocky Horror and Frank N. Furter, The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)

There isn’t a single thought in Rocky Horror’s (Peter Hinwood) pretty blonde head. The queer spiritual descendant of the Teen-Age Monster, Rocky is a Golden Retriever puppy of a creature, and he buries his nose in crotches just as enthusiastically. Rocky’s look is rooted in gay bodybuilder culture: The tan. The bleached-blonde bowl cut. The tight little gold lamé shorts. The bodybuilder boots laced up all tight as he pummels the gymnastics horse in Dr. Frank N. Furter’s (Tim Curry) lab. Frank creates this Charles Atlas golden god specifically to adore and satisfy him. But the night at the castle going the way it is, of course Rocky awakens to the same pansexual abandon as the rest of them. That’s where Frank’s lust backfires: His jealousy at finding Rocky in flagrante with Janet (Susan Sarandon) is what prompts his ultimate downfall. But for Frank, making out with all of his lovers while splashing around in a swimming pool might actually be worth dying for.

1.

Everyone But the Monster, Flesh for Frankenstein (1973)

Udo Kier is the perverted master of ceremonies in this three-ring circus of deviancy from director Paul Morrissey, which takes Frankenstein’s romantic necrophilia and distills it to its glistening, taboo essence. Gory and full of graphic violence, this film has pretensions towards art — it was executive produced by Andy Warhol — but it’s just too horny. Here, the Frankensteins (are they husband and wife? brother and sister? both?) are Serbian aristocrats with a cruel streak and a disturbing passion for eugenics. Kier’s Baron von Frankenstein is obsessed with breeding the ideal man, which means he needs a real horndog to murder and reanimate in his own image. Enter Nicholas (Joe Dallesandro), a regular at the local bawdy house and the only “Serbian stableboy†to speak with a thick Noo Yawk accent. The camera palpably lusts after Dallesandro, but it’s Kier who steals the show. In a performance that rides the line between true evil and delicious camp, he delivers perhaps the greatest line in movie history: “To know death, Otto, you must fuck life in the gallbladder!†He’s not speaking metaphorically.

Frankensteins, Ranked by Horniness