On November 24, 2006, a new way of thinking about art was established with the premiere of High School Musical: Pop-Up Edition on the Disney Channel. This special broadcast, which has been mostly lost to the sands of time, featured text bubbles that would flash on the screen each time East High Drama Club co-president Ryan Evans or plucky teen pianist Kelsi Nielsen donned a new hat, tallying the numbers to reveal an eventual victor. It is with this Kenny Ortega–approved media-analysis method that we tackle the videography of pop superstar Lady Gaga.
Gaga has consistently pushed boundaries in music, fashion, and performance, and her approach to hats is no different. The idea of a hat is so simple — a head covering, usually with identifiable traits like a brim and a crown— yet its borders become slippery in the hands of one Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta. You might think you know what a hat is, but Lady Gaga manages to locate the edges of that definition, build something there, and then put that something on her head faster than you can navigate to the Wikipedia page for “Hat.” Once the boundaries are drawn between what is and is not a hat in the world of Lady Gaga’s videography, the chosen pieces can be sorted into two distinct but equally important categories: hats that feed the narrative in some way, and hats that complete an ornate and complex look but that are seen, hilariously, for barely ten seconds. Hats are one of her classic storytelling channels, and she’s a genius innovator in the field.
Here are Lady Gaga’s music-video hats, ranked in terms of experimentation, narrative contribution, comical lack of narrative contribution, and, of course, style.
60.
Kindness Punk Battle Armor (“Stupid Love”)
We dive straight into the world of attention-grabbing headwear with this … thing. I assume the “Stupid Love” video was shot on the same set as the Kristin Davis vehicle The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl, and, in keeping with the disorienting nature of that film, it actually feels generous to say that she’s wearing this hat. We, the viewer, are definitely meant to believe that this smooth, helmetlike headpiece exists in the vicinity of Lady Gaga, but, at the very least, it has a tenuous relationship with reality. Even if it’s as real as rain, I have very little faith in its ability to protect Gaga’s head and neck during the battle for Chromatica. A proper fitting would do her wonders.
59.
The Wide-Brim Hat That Makes You Take Risks (“John Wayne”)
Not unlike the Polar Express hobo, Gaga has made a nice life for herself atop her lover’s moving vehicle. The hat she wears, a beige or brown version of the wide-brim silhouette that is synonymous with Joanne, is used primarily to wreak havoc as she tosses it over her lover’s eyes while he’s drinking and driving. This seems to be the least of the problems in their volatile relationship, but it’s hard to imagine it improves things, either. This hat narrowly avoids the bottom of the list — not for its beauty or its splendor, but rather for its contribution to the narrative. It overcomes its meager screen time in order to be an instrument of bedlam and disruption, and that’s deserving of a small shred of commendation.
58.
Nebraska Bridal Chic (“Yoü and I”)
This is a pretty straightforward bridal veil. It’s quite gauzy, but if Lady Gaga had been trying to communicate the idea of “bride” with visuals alone and she didn’t exaggerate and zero in on the classic headwear part of the look, it would be a major cause for concern. Hats and headpieces are one of the primary storytelling channels in a Lady Gaga video, and this relatively spartan veil does its job of declaring “wedding!” very efficiently, even though its design leaves much to be desired.
57.
Princess of Artpop (“Applause”)
This hat appears only briefly as Gaga walks down a runway of purple light to eventually receive the applause that she, admittedly, lives for. The height in the center of this piece is what elevates it from headband to tiara, and it completes the outfit and adds symmetry to the frame. It’s not very daring, though, and the piece itself does little to propel the story forward.
56.
Variations on Joanne (“Joanne”)
This low placement is not a comment on the quality of the hats. They’re solid hats! Beautiful hats, even! But they exist outside of the Lady Gaga hat ethos. They are less art pieces and more agents of ambience. For a song that is so personal and meaningful, having a hat pull focus would not have fit the vision. Gaga, a visionary, understands this. These two hats, which are different (though very little emphasis is placed on the distinctions between them), match the pared-back, naturalistic setting of the video. They perform their role, but there is nothing dramatic about them. This is to say nothing of the fact that you come to the “Joanne” video expecting the Joanne hat, but it is nowhere to be found. Subversive!
55.
Ursa Major (“G.U.Y.”)
In the famous iCarly episode “iMeet the First Lady,” the gang welcomes Michelle Obama as a guest on their web series, where she is asked to play a game called “Is Gibby Wearing a Hat or Criticizing a Hamster?” It’s comically straightforward. However, if Gibby had rocked up in this ensemble, I think even Michelle Obama, J.D., would have been stumped. Ambiguity aside, it is the least interesting of the four things anchored on Gaga’s head in the “G.U.Y.” video.
54.
Little Red Riding Hood (“Beautiful, Dirty, Rich”)
Not only does this garment have a nebulous relationship to the idea of a hat, but it does very little in the video. She wears it to roll around in money, chew on money, burn money, and smoke money. This is textbook “show don’t tell,” in that it lets you know that her silky red hood is very expensive, even though the lyrics repeatedly insist that she has no money.
53.
Hat on a Technicality (“Bad Romance”)
It would be easy to write this strange, delicate boxing helmet off as a mere mask, but it does, in fact, find purchase atop her head during one of the most iconic scenes in the “Bad Romance” video. It’s constructed of a series of metal rings and discs of various sizes, and it’s another piece that dutifully completes the brief task Gaga has asked of it. She shows great control and restraint in her deployment of her myriad hats — a feat by which many would undoubtedly be overwhelmed and beaten down. All of that said, it’s akin to a nepo baby in the world of Gaga hats. Maybe one of its parents was a full, traditional, crown-covering hat, and the platform got passed down but not the juice. It’s recognizable, but it’s not necessarily fun to root for it.
52.
Captain Gaga (“Just Dance”)
This blink-and-you-miss-it captain’s hat invites the viewer to imagine a world in which Lady Gaga never made her mark on the world of dance pop and instead spends her days sailing a cruise ship from Tampa to Cozumel. I banish the thought!
51.
Medical Marvel (“Yoü and I”)
We’ve all been there! Anyone who has ever gone to the doctor has had to wear a beige skullcap full of metal pins while the doc squirts liquid from an old-timey ear-syringe bulb into their mouth. It feels like we’re violating HIPAA laws by seeing this, and it doesn’t have enough size or personality to really make a compelling case for itself. A perfectly fine hat!
50.
Presumably Prescription Chrome Helmet (“Paparazzi”)
This hat confirms a long-held suspicion: Anytime a baby is wearing a skull-shaping helmet, it’s because they were pushed off a balcony by Alexander Skarsgård. This metallic head covering ushers “Paparazzi” Gaga onto the road to recovery from exactly such an event, and it was very thoughtful of her team of doctors to prescribe braces and casts that would pop visually as she tackled her first dance sequence since what I assume she refers to ominously as “the incident.” The helmet is seen briefly, but not so briefly that its mere existence becomes funny. It simply makes its point and departs.
49.
Sneaky Little Cat Hat (“Bad Romance”)
This is actually the first of two animal-shaped fascinators worn in the “Bad Romance” video, but it’s the inferior of the pair simply because it’s trying its best to evade capture on film. This one, worn as she writhes around in a combination locker-room-shower-slash-jail-cell, is a replica of the hairless cat beloved by the mob boss who seeks to buy Gaga at auction. It quickly and effectively does the work of equating her, in his eyes, with a pet he can control, and it instantly seems justifiable for her to set him ablaze in the end. In Lady Gaga’s hands, a hat is perhaps the most effective storytelling tool. Aside from, like, music.
48.
Shiny Arrest Hennin (“Paparazzi”)
This braided dunce cap seems to be made from Sondheim’s hair as yellow as corn, and it’s worn specifically for Gaga’s arrest after she confesses to killing her boyfriend, Alexander Skarsgård. This video would prepare him for his similar role as “abusive dead man” in Big Little Lies, so, in many ways, he owes Gaga his career. An elaborate hat that receives zero close-ups and very little screen time is a Lady Gaga staple, proof that the hats are for the love of the game.
47.
Shy Pillbox (“Beautiful, Dirty, Rich”)
She’s kind of coy about this one! It’s far less ostentatious than the hats Gaga would come to be known for, but everyone must start somewhere. It’s okay, Lady Gaga, come out from the corner and show us your little pillbox hat. It calls to mind strong women like Jackie O, Parker Posey’s Jackie-O, and Quinn Fabray singing “Blame It on the Alcohol”! That’s nothing to be ashamed of!
46.
The Floral Guitar Pick of Immobility (“911”)
Lady Gaga is, in fact, inside this tulip bulb with eyeholes. In her Gaga-vision behind-the-scenes video (what the Lumière brothers referred to as “the ultimate goal of the filmic medium”), she says that this is a “true gimp outfit … it’s designed to suffocate you.” She wears it very briefly during the video, and she does not seem to be enjoying it, which I think comes through in the work. Hats are about fun, and this key part of the Lady Gaga music-video ethos is lacking here.
45.
Humble Yellow Beret (“The Edge of Glory”)
The sole hat in the “The Edge of Glory” video is worn on these Carrie Bradshaw–esque steps next to the man who will tackle the sax solo. Really, this is her most Sex and the City–coded video, as the set calls to mind a New York street on an empty studio lot, the kind where Carrie is scolded for smoking in the L.A. episodes. The hat, which is reminiscent of a flattened Fjällräven Kånken backpack, adds a funky little energy to the uncharacteristically empty environment. Not her best, but it’s also not trying to be.
44.
Little Black Beanie (“Applause”)
This little cap is vital because it acts as a blank canvas, a launching pad for loftier visions. The face paint would be rendered powerless if we could see her hair! Her giant white inflatable rectangle would be meaningless without the chic black base! Because Gaga has often played with gender in fashion, this could also be an homage to the Morphsuit, a piece beloved by middle-school boys nationwide come Halloween. For all of its functions, though, the hat is unremarkable. It serves more of a purpose and is more instantly recognizable than a lot of the lower-ranked hats, but, at the end of the day, it’s utilitarian.
43.
Poke a 911 (“911”)
This taps into the true joy of a Lady Gaga music-video hat. It has no clear purpose, but it holds a strong grip on the entire top third of the frame. It’s there to be art! It’s there to take up space! It’s not quite memorable or visually interesting enough to put it in the top half of the list, but, as the limited number of Chromatica hats go, it’s pretty solid.
42.
Solemn Baseball Hat (“Million Reasons”)
Here, Gaga is beaten down by life, exiting the “Perfect Illusion” desert rave in a nondescript black baseball cap that would allow her to maintain neutrality at any sporting event. A simple hat is the clearest sign of a Lady Gaga in distress. Its plain nature is in conversation with the usual opulence of her hats, signaling that this is a deeply introspective moment. This hat betrays an awareness of her hat habit. She knows how to harness the power of juxtaposition to drive the narrative forward.
41.
Paparazzi Plumage (“Paparazzi”)
This dramatic feathered number is worn exclusively to thrash around under a strobe light during the “Paparazzi” bridge. It’s huge, it takes up space, it’s visually striking, and it’s the main focus of an entire costume change and shot setup despite not having any distinct meaning. A Gaga staple. The only thing keeping it from a higher spot on the list is the fact that there is no public knowledge of what this hat looks like when it’s not in motion. The mystery makes it all the more alluring.
40.
Worst-Case Scenario Wedding Veil (“Judas”)
The “Judas” bridal veil ranks higher than the “Yoü and I” veil, both because Gaga added a little hat (crown, in this case) underneath to elevate the veil, a trick she no doubt learned from world-renowned wedding-dress designer Elizabeth James in The Parent Trap, and because she’s wearing it to be stoned to death. A rare instance of a specific hat worn for a crime to be committed against Gaga.
39.
Kindness Punk Casualwear (“Stupid Love”)
This headpiece-mask combination has a more stable relationship with reality than does the other Kindness Punk uniform. It’s sleeker, it appears to protect Gaga’s face, and it doesn’t obscure her vision. A marked improvement upon the earlier battle armor. This is much more likely to serve her in the fight for the soul of Chromatica.
38.
Hello, Gorgeous (“Telephone”)
The primary theme of the “Telephone” video is that Beyoncé is a very good friend. Here, Gaga wears this leopard-print conductor’s hat exclusively for an interlude of solo shots with Beyoncé’s car as the two of them flee the scene of their accidental mass poisoning. This is how you know Beyoncé has the patience of a saint. They’re on the lam, and she’s still willing to stop and take glamour shots of Gaga’s little Barbra Streisand Funny Girl homage. The hat itself is unafraid to take up space in both height and pattern, but in the hat-rich environment of the “Telephone” video, those things just aren’t enough to propel it any further up the list.
37.
Playing With the Form (“Born This Way”)
This is the sole hat worn in the “Born This Way” video, donned to deliver the “Manifesto of Mother Monster,” which is primarily about the difference between good and evil. At first glance, it seems like just another wig, but then the back reveals a whole plastic face and a shocking amount of structural integrity, leaving no choice but to shuffle it over to the hat category. The hat-wig’s double-sided nature reflects not only the struggle between good and evil, but also the struggle between what is a hat and what is not a hat.
36.
Sir Gaga (“LoveGame”)
This chain-mail hood protects Gaga on the front lines of the war between love and fame as she menaces the circle of men shooting a Campari ad around her. It’s very chic, and it’s the Gaga hat that I would most like to run my fingers over in a touch-and-feel-style board book for babies. The main knock against it is that it doesn’t receive the glamour shot it deserves, though it serves its purpose with aplomb.
35.
Good-bye, Gaga (“G.U.Y.”)
After Lady Gaga, who began the “G.U.Y.” short film as a half-bird, half-woman figure who’s pierced through the heart with an arrow, is left for dead in a field, she finally collapses on the steps of a mansion. From there, her corpse is outfitted in this burial veil with the speed usually reserved for containing a biohazard. She is then mercifully sunk into a regulation swimming pool by a cadre of dancers. The ornate, over-the-top nature of the piece, contrasted with the comical brevity of its time onscreen, works in tandem to launch it to the middle of the pack.
34.
Monastic Latex Hood (“Alejandro”)
“Judas” and “Alejandro” have spent the last 15 years locked in a neck-and-neck race to be named Gaga’s Most Catholic Video, an award given for communicating intense guilt and anxiety through a strong aesthetic. This garment has no clear religious meaning, but it evokes monkhood and communicates devotion to a Christian God. The chic, clean lines on this hooded robe, paired with the glamour shot it receives before having dozens of hands rubbed all over it, are the details that elevate it here.
33.
Shawty Fire Burning on the Dance Floor (“Marry the Night”)
Like the “Stupid Love” helmet, this hat has an unclear relationship with the physical world — but it’s huge, it’s chrome, and it pushes the viewer to wonder if it’s fireproof. After all, it could very well be a product of part-time Aspen resident Kyle Richards’s favorite hat shop, Kemo Sabe, which essentially functions like a Build-a-Bear for wealthy adults except instead of typing out a birth certificate on fat keys meant for toddler hands, the hats are christened by being thrown into a fire. Even though this giant chrome disc is only seen for a second, it manages to be grandiose, something worth wearing while burning to death. It’s the kind of hat and shot that lets you know Gaga is serious about storytelling and filmmaking.
32.
Genre-Defying Hair Hat (“Paparazzi”)
This piece epitomizes the idea of a border. Its existence challenges the very laws of nature. On one hand, one might want to simply take her word that this is the natural shape of her hair in the world of the video. After all, if we don’t have Gaga’s word, what do we have? On the other hand, this is a piece of intentional art in the space. It makes itself known. It feels wrong to ignore it. This is easily Gaga’s most thought-provoking hat. Its ability to challenge the viewer and to defy categorization is awe-inspiring.
31.
A Hat Is Worn (“Shallow,” “Look What I Found,” “I’ll Never Love Again,” and “Always Remember Us This Way”)
The same clips from A Star Is Born cut together in four different ways are, in fact, counted as four official music videos on Lady Gaga’s YouTube page. They’re really just (extremely effective) promos for the film, but each of them serves as a showcase for Gaga’s hat-based acting abilities. Never would Lady Gaga be shy and hesitant about wearing Bradley Cooper’s Jackson Maine hat. Pop music’s own Ally Maine (née Campana), on the other hand, is a different story. In the clips where Ally is shyly experimenting with hats and having them flirtily foisted on her, her body language seems to inquire, Why did you do that do that do that do that do that to me? Why did you do that? Lady Gaga would never ask questions about a hat thrust upon her. She would simply embody it. Her portrayal of Ally’s skittishness and inexperience around hats is how you know she’s a gifted actress.
30.
Mother (“Just Dance”)
This is the very first hat of Lady Gaga’s videography. The one that started it all, from which all others spring. Without this hat, who knows what would have happened? If it was erased from existence, all subsequent hats might begin to disappear from their respective videos, like that episode of Hannah Montana in which Miley gets struck by lightning and must re-create her parents’ first meeting at a diner so that she and Jackson don’t vanish. (Sources are saying that this is also the plot of Back to the Future.) In addition to the fact of its primordiality, this Gaga hat is the perfect sartorial compliment to “Just Dance.” People are always threatening the return of indie sleaze, but nothing fits my understanding of the concept more than cheekily trying on someone else’s fedora at a carpeted house party. With all of this in mind, it lands right in the middle of the pack. Understated but vital.
29.
Mrs. Ratburn (“Bad Romance”)
The second animal-shaped fascinator in the “Bad Romance” video appears in the very final shot, as Gaga lies in bed with the charred remains of the mob boss whose bed she has just set ablaze. The jaunty angle of the hat can only mean one thing: She’s on her way to a British wedding.
28.
Telephone: The Appetizer Round (“Telephone”)
When Gaga finds herself in jail after the events of the “Paparazzi” video, she needs to be resourceful if she wants to fuel her hat habit. No more crowns and ornate feathered caps! This is hat designing by way of Chopped, and police tape was one of the ingredients in the basket. What does Alex Guarnaschelli think?
27.
La Viuda Negra (“Alejandro”)
A tasteful and ornate mourning veil — which is sooo wide, by the way — is worn to lead a funeral procession while carrying the Sacred Heart of Jesus, marked with an A for “Alejandro,” on a little cushion. She’s lost an unconditional love! Poor dear. This is another scenario where the elaborate design and decadent detail of the hat do not match the attention paid to it by the camera. A hat like this, in the hands of a lesser artist, could become the whole video, but Gaga’s consistent willingness to go all in on looks that contribute to the lushness of the ambience in an oblique, understated way is what makes her one of the greats.
26.
Crawl, Crawl, Fashion Baby (“Bad Romance”)
In this scene, Gaga is stripped of her cloak in front of a group of mobsters waiting to place auction bids on her. At her most vulnerable and exposed, she still wears this upside-down crystal cereal bowl crown. It only serves to underline her commitment to hats, seemingly saying, Even at my lowest, there will be something on my head. An acknowledgment that a hat is as much a part of her physical body as an arm or a leg. How beautiful!
25.
Mistress Mayhem’s Boater Hat (“Abracadabra”)
A new entry into the canon, this jazzy, wide-brim number ushers in a dance-off between “Virgin Gaga” and this gal, Mayhem, who represents her inner demons. According to the video’s costume designer, the goal was to create a really intense silhouette … and they did! If a poem was said to me by this lady in red, I’d know they were the last few words of my life because I’d feel menaced!
24.
Chic Little Crown (“Bad Romance”)
This feels so clean and classic. The all black, the sunglasses, the Jughead-esque floppy crown. It’s delightful to look at, and it receives extra points in the “comical lack of narrative contribution” category. She’s serving in the mirror just for the sake of serving in the mirror, and that can be beautiful.
23.
Chin Up, Queen, Your Giant White Shako Is Slipping (“G.U.Y.”)
The mere fact that this hat has a chin strap elevates it past the halfway point. The strap communicates its extreme weight, forcing you to reckon with and appreciate the incredible strength of Lady Gaga’s neck muscles. It also takes up a ton of space in a way that leaves you wanting for a physical-comedy moment of her trying to walk through a door, like when Will Ferrell or Vince Vaughn plays a human in an elf’s world in a Christmas film. Instead, this hat is worn exclusively to gaze at Andy Cohen playing Eros, the god of sexual desire, who is looking down fondly on the world below. It has all the makings of something quintessential, but it can’t quite crack the top 20.
22.
Hats of the Apostles (“Judas”)
The image of the Sacred Heart appears again on this blue hood in the “Judas” video. The hood itself is arranged just so, and it serves as the perfect ensemble in which the motorcycle-gang elements of the video and the Catholic aesthetics of the video can merge. It also gets its fair share of screen time so we can really take it in. It’s not as enormous as some of the hats she wears, but it is undeniably chic and thematically rich. Plus, she layers it with a bandanna, which is not technically a hat but which lends a certain depth to the visual language at the top of Gaga’s head.
21.
Sister Gaga (“Alejandro”)
A white latex nun’s habit in the “Alejandro” video actually marks Gaga’s first foray into religious headwear, a motif she would, of course, return to often throughout Born This Way. Speaking of major Born This Way themes, this nun look, which she wears to swallow a rosary, is also meant to symbolize her struggle between light and dark, good and evil. This imagery upset the kind of Catholic people who were in a position to release official statements about their discomfort, but it received praise from the kind of Catholic-school children who were already in a good mood because of the Glee season-one finale, which was released on the same day. Mixed reviews, then. But it got people talking!
20.
Vehicular Manslaughter Wide-Brim (“Disease”)
There are multiple Lady Gagas vying for supremacy in the “Disease” video, but only this one is wearing a hat. It builds upon two very prevalent themes in Gaga’s visual work: wearing a huge hat in a car, and wearing a very specific hat to commit one crime. This is her vehicular-manslaughter hat, which appears to be a black version of the one worn by Mayhem in the “Abracadabra” video, leaving us no choice but to put it on our Hat Shapes to Watch in 2025 list. This hat is good for more than just vehicular manslaughter, though! It’s also the perfect accessory for lurching forward through gale-force winds that, despite their severity, do not affect the placement of the hat, as well as for vomiting up black sludge. Jack-of-all-trades vibes!
19.
Yes, Stef! (“Telephone”)
Like the captain’s hat before it, this hat invites the viewer to imagine Lady Gaga in a different career. Here, she cunningly blends in with a chef’s toque so no one suspects her of a murder plot. Usually, her hats are meant to stand out, to be a statement piece, but here she inconspicuously assimilates herself into the environment, just like Keri Russell in The Americans. Not only would I believe that she works at this diner, I would believe that she’s employee of the month, and I would supply her with government secrets if she asked.
18.
Just Wanted to Take Another Look at You (“Alejandro”)
This is simply a great hat. A little black crown with tentacles and goggles? Wow. This is exactly the kind of meeting of form and function that defines a Gaga hat. Yes, she has to keep an eye on the cadre of underwear-clad soldiers doing a little dance for her. That’s what the lacy goggles are for. But should she have to sacrifice fashion for such a weighty responsibility? Absolutely not. Connect the goggles to a gorgeous little crown, and we’re in business. Also, it would be negligent to omit the fact that she looks exactly like a color-inverted version of Kristen Wiig’s Barb and Star villain, Sharon Gordon Fisherman.
17.
I’m Gonna Keep on Dancing in My White Pokey Crown (“Bad Romance”)
One of the most enduring images from the “Bad Romance” video is this all-white outfit worn during a dance sequence. Though the hat has a paper quality to it and the uneven spikes call to mind a kindergartner with blunt Fiskars totally misunderstanding a paper snowflake assignment, the overall look transcends these barriers to become nothing short of sublime. Not to mention that the idea of a hat designed to cover the eyes is radical and transgressive in nature. So many hats are shaped with the very purpose of not obscuring the wearer’s vision, and this one bravely spits in the face of that notion.
16.
Structural Scuba Cap (“Poker Face”)
In the “Poker Face” behind-the-scenes video, Gaga refers to this ensemble as her “scuba outfit,” so this hat is playing the role of a swim cap during her morning dip. It has a strong sculptural element on the side, which, in her third video, is a strong indicator that she’s coming into herself and the hat connoisseur she is meant to be. It also serves to establish early on in her career that she is going to be wearing hats in unexpected places, and if you can’t handle that, there’s the door!
25.
Officer Gaga (“LoveGame”)
What’s special about this hat is that it does not appear as part of a new outfit in a new scene. Instead, it manifests out of thin air while Gaga is practicing bisexuality by making out with two cops in an MTA worker booth. It then enjoys a long stay in the video by being heavily featured in the following dance sequence. The hat itself is a child’s idea of a police hat, the kind that appears in cartoons or in a prepackaged Spirit Halloween costume. The vague shape, the lack of any insignia: It’s one of the more utilitarian offerings, but it’s putting in the work, just like Gaga in this subway station.
14.
Patient Name: L. Gaga (“Marry the Night”)
This hat is the only one that receives a verbal analysis of its importance in its video, straight from Lady Gaga’s lips to our ears. “I tipped their gauze caps to the side like Parisian berets because I think it’s romantic, and I also believe that mint will be very big in fashion next spring,” Gaga says of the hat in a voice-over as she explains the costuming of the nurses wheeling her down a long hallway. It’s part of a longer monologue about how she prefers to remember things in an artistic way. “The lie of it all is much more honest because I invented it,” she continues. In many ways, this is the most present of all the hats because of how much purposeful attention is drawn to it. It’s very simple, though, a testament to her ability to create beauty out of very little.
13.
Twins! (“Telephone”)
A fun fact about Lady Gaga’s hat habit is that she never wears a hat when she’s featured in someone else’s video, but artists who appear in her videos are always welcome to experiment with hats of all types. Beyoncé is no stranger to hats in her own work, so it’s safe to say that a spin in Gaga’s hat closet was a thoughtful little thank-you gift for bailing her friend out of jail. Getting gifts for people is not hard when you pay attention to what they like! Here, Gaga and Beyoncé, still on the run from the law due to an unfortunate mass-homicide incident, pose with the Pussy Wagon in their massive, coordinated veiled cowboy hats as the sound of sirens closes in. It’s a very powerful visual — a visual that has left people hanging on a “to be continued …” for 15 years.
12.
Thumbs-up (“Judas”)
Lady Gaga, in character as Mary Magdalene, monitors the final showdown between Jesus and Judas in this velvet hat shaped like the body of the Eraserhead baby. It’s simply so tall and heavy, no doubt a commentary on the amount of stress the real Mary Magdalene was under when she settled a feud between motorcyclists. This is a prime example of a Lady Gaga video hat. First of all, it takes up a massive amount of space. Second, she could be wearing anything, but the choice of a giant hat reaffirms her commitment to the art form. Third, she looks great. It’s huge, it’s velvety, it’s burdensome. Wonderful hat.
11.
Jaunty Bathroom Disc (“Marry the Night”)
This hat is worn to signify Gaga fully embracing her status as a disruptor. She’s not afraid to take up space in the ballet-school bathroom with this wide-brim disc, she’s not afraid of the germs that might fell her because she’s eating in the bathroom, and she’s certainly not afraid to wear this big hat to throw up in a stall mere moments later. It’s representative of her emerging as a stronger version of herself after being dropped by her first record label, and it’s also, frankly, very funny. She takes pride and can find humor in the ostentatiousness of her hats. Brava!
10.
The Pink Joanne Hat (“Million Reasons” and “John Wayne”)
The famous Joanne hat makes its first appearance in the “Million Reasons” video, and then it returns in the “John Wayne” video. The first inter-video headwear! Crucially, we see the shelf of hats before she puts the pink one on, allowing the viewer to live with the anticipation of the hat. We, of course, know which hat on the shelf will call to her, but the suspense is masterful. It forces you to ponder the idea that she could have picked a different one. What would have been the implications? Would the art itself have been different? This pink hat would, of course, become synonymous with the era. It’s not super-ornate, it’s not over the top, but it is iconic (in the truest sense of the word, as a representative symbol, not in the overused, hyperbolic way).
9.
Joanne: Full Throttle (“John Wayne”)
This black version of the Joanne silhouette is nothing special, visually speaking. Let’s get that out of the way. But it beats out the original by one spot on the list simply because it seems to be indestructible. The main thing we know about this hat is that it looks like felt, but a beer bottle shatters easily against its brim. If the force of the collision is distributed through both of the items involved, and only the glass bottle left the scene deformed in some way, it stands to reason that the hat’s weakest point is stronger than the bottle’s weakest point. This, of course, begs the question: Which feltlike material is stronger than glass? This is the only Lady Gaga music-video hat that spurs the viewer to Google things like “physics for kids” and “molecular density of felt” in an attempt to grasp its power. It has no doubt pushed thousands into STEM fields.
8.
Birdwoman or (the Expected Virtue of Giggy-ness) (‘G.U.Y.”)
Another inspired addition to the “Lady Gaga wears a specific hat to commit a crime” canon! This statement piece is worn to the kind of nondescript corporate building that employs Hallmark movie leads before they head to their small town for a transformative Christmas experience, and Gaga is breaking and entering with none other than Real Housewives Kyle Richards and Lisa Vanderpump to shoot money out of bazookas and stage a violent hostile takeover. Not only is this hat striking perfect notes of chicness and drama, it makes reference to the beginning of the full-length “G.U.Y” short film when Gaga is a birdlike figure who was left for dead as collateral in the dogged, artless pursuit of money. She’s flipped the script! Plus, for a hat to share a frame with Giggy Vanderpump and still draw any attention at all is a sign of great power.
7.
Bucolic Black Disc (“Yoü and I”)
This hat has two distinct pieces: the structured, mesh circle, and veils made from the kind of black gossamer that a high-school student council orders several rolls of when they’ve managed to get a slightly edgy homecoming theme approved. It dominates the “Yoü and I” video as Gaga traverses rural roads in the sweltering heat, and its severe silhouette is perhaps the video’s most enduring image. In the wake of the cultural dominance of Catherine O’Hara’s Moira Rose, the juxtaposition of the structured, over-the-top, all-black headpiece with the barren country roads might seem played out, but it’s important to remember that Gaga pioneered it.
6.
Beach Day in Hell (“Abracadabra”)
The “Abracadabra” video begins with this striking visual: Lady Gaga in an enormous hat that is both sharp and gummy, rubbery and structured. One second in, and she’s experimenting with hats in a way some artists can only dream of. It’s reminiscent of a pen topper that a child might beg her mother to buy from the odds-and-ends table at a Scholastic Book Fair. She wears this to reveal the category, “Dance or Die,” and it’s really a very commanding piece. New to the family but undeniably impactful. It appeared for the first time roughly a month ago, and it already feels like home.
5.
Alexander Graham Bell Pre-Fall 2010 (“Telephone”)
This is “Forget it, Jake. It’s Chinatown.” It’s Blake Lively asking Anna Kendrick for “a simple favor.” It’s Greta Gerwig folding the “Frances Ha” name tag into the mailbox at her new apartment. Yes, this hat is satisfying and exciting in the same way that it’s delicious to hear a character say the name of the movie in the movie. My God … there’s the telephone! It’s the titular telephone! And it’s a striking bright blue! And she’s wearing it while she makes poison! It’s cheeky, it’s funny, it’s a structural delight, and it’s a work of art. In short, it’s a top-five Lady Gaga hat.
4.
Red (Gaga’s Version) (“911”)
It’s fitting that this hat resembles an old-timey apothecary scale because the whole song is about trying to find “biological stasis” and a balance within herself. It’s also her first big hat since Artpop, which means it’s a return to form! According to Gaga, it represents the blood from the head injury that she is revealed to have been suffering from at the end of the video. It’s also meant to look like the roots of a tree, because her trauma has made her who she is. A giant hat with narrative meaning and choreography designed to highlight that meaning? Yeah, that’s an upper-echelon hat.
3.
Princess of Peace (“Judas”)
This might appear rather small in stature for a top-three placement, but it’s made from 24-karat gold and outfitted in Swarovski crystals. Plus, it’s worn to designate her as Jesus’s girlfriend, the First Lady of the 12 Apostles Motorcycle Gang, which is one of the most prestigious roles a woman can play, right up there with Lady Macbeth and Lydia Tár. The crown, designed by Marianna Harutunian, pops against the desaturated color grading of the scene and essentially serves to reorient the entire New Testament around her story. This can only mean one thing: Lady Gaga should write her own edition of the Bible.
2.
Go Big or Go Home (“Marry the Night”)
At the risk of sounding like Stefon Meyers, this hat has everything.
(1) It tops off a dramatic look that appears for all of ten seconds, but …
(2) … It manages to carry narrative significance in that Lady Gaga is no longer afraid to take up space with her ideas and her vision.
(3) It’s absolutely huge …
(4) … Comically so. This allows Gaga to do one of her favorite physical-comedy bits: pretending she’s surprised when a big hat can’t fit somewhere, especially a car. Even she is impressed by the sheer space these things take up! And finally …
(5) … It’s a very cool, ornately constructed piece of fashion.
It’s a fantastic, avant-garde, weird, silly hat. Perfect.
1.
Icarus (“Telephone”)
This hat is in itself a short story. Beyoncé has just graciously bailed her dear friend Lady Gaga out of jail in the Pussy Wagon after the latter poisoned her boyfriend, and this is how Gaga repays her. By taking up a quarter of the space in her car with her ostentatious hat. It’s actually a very lovely piece — look at how confident she is as she leaves the jail in her big, big hat, finally able to send a message about her true self to the people within the confines of the prison. But it’s a terrible overestimation of the dimensions of the Pussy Wagon cabin. Both of them seem embarrassed by the size of the hat here. Gaga can’t believe she’s wearing this in Beyoncé’s car, and Beyoncé is gritting it out like a gracious host, though she, too, is concealing a little something on top of her head: a more appropriately sized hat that took the size of the Pussy Wagon into consideration. Again, the theme of the “Telephone” video is that Beyoncé is a very good, patient friend. All in all, this is the platonic ideal of a Lady Gaga music-video hat. It’s funny, it’s gigantic, it’s unique and daring — and everything about the shot composition surrounding it highlights these features. Long may she reign!