It’s finally Wedding Week! We’ve got three couples left, and — wait, what? Oh, Marissa’s mom can cut that man’s balls off. CUT ’EM OFF! AS A MATTER OF FACT, I’LL FETCH THE SCISSORS!! Okay, okay, I do not actually condone castration or violence against Ramses. I’m sure he would tell me I should call for restorative justice anyway. I’m sorry. I’m sorry! I’m just … it’s really, really hard to watch this opening breakup conversation.
Marissa is completely blindsided by it. Ramses’s family has apparently made him realize his ex was “hurting much more†than he realized postdivorce. I don’t know why those conversations couldn’t have happened before he decided to go on Love Is Blind, but okay. He says his feelings are telling him to move forward, but he needs to be more logical about the decision. I’m with her when she asks Ramses to please be specific and give her some tangible explanations because what is he even saying? “It’s about your energy and my energy living and coexisting in the same space is what it is,†he suggests, which sounds like something you’d say during a guided meditation, not while abruptly calling it quits with a fiancée.
What really sucks is that Marissa specifically told Ramses in the pods that guys are always really into her at first and then one day decide she’s just “too much.†Here, he uses the exact same phrase when ending their engagement. For the record, I agree that these two aren’t a good match. But they’ve been sharing space for weeks now, and I just feel like he could’ve reached this conclusion a little sooner. Marissa doesn’t seem like the type of person who would hide part of her personality or beliefs or whatever it was that bothered Ramses. At least Hannah and Tim had the decency to end things with their partners before the dress and tux fittings! I guess it’s better than having this happen at the altar, but still.
Marissa thinks Ramses shouldn’t have come on the show because he needs to date for a long time to feel secure enough to get married. She somehow still looks so pretty as she continues to cry harder (Netflix’s captions eventually say she’s “blubberingâ€). She keeps asking Ramses if he’s sure while they hug. Once it’s clear that his mind is made up, she sinks to the floor in tears. She leaves the room without her ring and then does a confessional while still sobbing? I would say she’s braver than the troops, but given her military background, she might not appreciate that. The point is that I admire her for sitting in front of a camera while actively processing the fact that the man who was getting emotional with her while picking out their first-dance song two days ago has now had a change of heart. Marissa calls her mom. (We don’t get to hear the conversation, but I’m betting it was not very friendly toward Ramses.)
I will say, from the way they’ve been interacting on social media, it seems Marissa and Ramses have found a path to reconciliation. I don’t see her being nasty to him at the reunion or wanting viewers to be mad on her behalf. Still, this heartbreak is fresh to us viewers, and witnessing her complete devastation makes for a jarring start to the episode.
And then we cut straight to a Washington Wizards game. I don’t immediately recognize Tyler and Garrett’s friends from last week, so I’m actually confused about what’s going on for a second. Like, did I accidentally sit on my remote? Why is there a basketball court on my screen? But oh, okay, this is the bachelor party. Tyler and Garrett shoot hoops and play musical chairs in front of thousands of people, which they seem to enjoy. Good for them. Meanwhile, Ashley and Taylor have a sleepover-themed bachelorette party. Taylor says they’re both such strong women that they would’ve dropped their men immediately if a nonnegotiable came up. Ashley agrees, but they also note that they have to give their man grace on this timeline. Plus, men just mess up. “Hey, hey, hey,†the sole man in the “I Do Crew†protests unconvincingly.
On to our first wedding!
We’re starting with Tyler and Ashley. He tells his friends that he and Ashley are going “to the baby-making station†after the reception; Ashley’s friends gift her a robe for “sexy time.†Ashley is soooo sure about Tyler, who she says protects her emotions. Something “catastrophic†would have to happen in the next few hours for her to say “no.†Her intuition is also “insane,†though, so that may just be a weird look on his face as she walks down the aisle. For now, she trusts him 180 percent and is ready to take this leap of faith.
Tyler’s mom (the one he praised during the pods for raising him all on her own) comes to see him, and we witness the nerves he wasn’t showing his boys. She reminds him that he’s never once said he’s not sure about Ashley. They allude to his dad not being invited but that being his fault. Ashley’s dad is invited because she has found a way to forgive him for how “he’s treated women†and her mom. He advises her to stick to her marriage because “some of us†run when it gets bad and regret it. But he doesn’t get to give her away — he hands her off mid-aisle to her mom.
The ceremony starts with a prayer, naturally. They both tear up during each other’s vows, which mention God and leaps of faith. The suspenseful music doesn’t get me. Of course, these two say “I do.†They end the ceremony with the African tradition of jumping the broom. Ashley, Tyler, and their golden goblets celebrate afterward … and yes, he brings up wanting to have kids. I imagine the producers thought this was so cute before the social-media discourse started.
And just like that, it’s time for our second and last couple to head to the altar. Taylor is so excited to think about having kids and grandkids with Garrett. He says he has been inspecting his feelings every day to make sure he’s sure because they promised each other they would only say “yes†if they “truly, truly meant it.â€
Taylor’s mom has written a poem from the perspective of Taylor’s baby bonnet, which has been repurposed into a wedding hanky that can be her “something old.†Taylor puts the tiny thing on her head, and her mom brushes away tears. On the groom’s side, Garrett gets a chance to spend some time with Taylor’s dad, who helps him with his bow tie. Garrett shoots off promise after promise about how he’s going to take care of Taylor and respect her and put her feelings first. When he stops for breath, Mr. Krause assures him that he has his full support. Mr. Krause then tears up while recalling that Taylor was with him for two weeks when his brother — whose tie he’s wearing — died, and he tells Garrett that marriage will include supporting each other through tough times and losses like that. So far, when anyone has talked about Mr. Krause, they’ve very much made it sound like he was crashing out over the wedding and extremely on the fence about it. But now, he just seems excited to welcome a “killer son-in-law.â€
It’s actually Garrett’s parents who still seem a little on edge. Garrett acknowledges their concerns about his going to San Diego but says he thinks he’d be a fool not to act on finding someone like Taylor, with whom he feels so compatible. Ultimately, his mom and dad say they’re supportive. While it may seem spontaneous, they know he’s given it a lot of thought — more than they did when they got married, anyway. A fun little reveal is that both Taylor’s and Garrett’s parents got married on the 13th, which just feels right for this cheesy little love story.
The officiant describes Love Is Blind as the most important double-blind experiment for these two scientists. They both have their vows written down. Garrett talks about how perfect Taylor is for him. He gets audience laughs when he breaks up his emotional promises by committing to make every date as hot as the ones they had in Cabo. Taylor tells “G†that he truly sees her, sings his praises, and speaks hopefully about their future. She says this process reminded her of apricity, the warmth of the sun on your skin in wintertime. And she ends by saying she really caught a big fish. I thought there’d be a Shrek reference somewhere, but other than that, this is pretty much what I expected from them. Unsurprisingly, they both say “yesâ€!
Garrett kisses Taylor in their joyful private chat afterward until she pats him on the chest and says, “Okay, okay, okay, you have the rest of your life to.†They ride off in a horse-drawn carriage and assure us in a confessional that love is truly blind.
After a few shots of dancing at their wedding reception and at Ashley and Tyler’s … that’s it! The finale’s done. I feel like it’s been such a weird season that this episode doesn’t feel like a satisfying conclusion. Is Ashley a happy stepmother? Was Garrett able to uproot his life and adjust to being in San Diego? And what about all the questions about the other couples that could have been answered with more footage or confessionals? To me, the reunion is going to feel like the real finale. This week was just something we had to get through first. See you on October 30!
Extra Engaged
• The mother of Tyler’s children has posted a five-part series of claims on Instagram that aligns with the rumors that have been spreading on social media and potentially makes every single cute thing he says in this episode seem diabolical.
• Marissa has explained on her TikTok that she has rheumatoid arthritis and was having a flare-up during last week’s conversation about physical intimacy. So it wasn’t just PMS, which seems like important context!
• I had the opportunity to interview Alex and Hannah last week. They were quick chats, so I couldn’t ask everything I wanted to, but I do think there were still interesting takeaways from both. I’m sure the Lacheys don’t need any help prepping for the reunion. But in case they do, Netflix, feel free to call me. I’m so serious. I have QUESTIONS!