It’s been 15 years since Noel Gallagher walked away from Oasis for what seemed like the last time, lamenting that he “simply could not go on working with Liam a day longer.†But the eternal beef between the brothers Gallagher never truly ended — and likely never will, even now that they’ve reconciled enough to reunite for a run of concerts in the U.K. and Ireland in 2025.
The media narrative has long painted Noel as the pragmatic, occasionally sober musician, dutifully writing the songs and leading the band while Liam peacocked in a drunken stupor as the stereotypical rock star. Former Oasis drummer Tony McCarroll painted a different picture in his autobiography, The Truth: My Life As Oasis’s Drummer, describing Liam as a puckish rake who was genuinely a good dude and Noel as an egotistical asshole who calls his fans “fucking idiots.†Of course, the reality is probably somewhere in between. Liam is on record as being fully invested in living up to the rock-star mystique, while Noel sees music as a profession and himself as a professional.
So why reunite now? Maybe Liam needs the money. Maybe Noel is tired of teens begging for him to cosplay as his brother and sing “Wonderwall†at his shows. Either way, no one truly believes their bickering has come to an end, nor do they want it to. “Lots of people say I need to chill out about Noel,†Liam once told Q magazine. “Not until they stop Twitter. That cunt will always get it from me.†In honor of the brothers’ and their band’s reunion — which reportedly will include original guitarist Paul “Bonehead†Arthurs, who hasn’t played with Oasis since 1999 — here’s a nearly complete look at their long-running feud (nearly, because who knows what kind of insults these two have thrown at each other behind closed doors).
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“Stick Your Thousand Pounds Right Up Your Fuckin’ Arse†(April 1994)
A few months before the release of their debut LP, Definitely Maybe, Noel and Liam record an interview with the NME’s John Harris, the overwhelming majority of which consists of the pair fighting. Their dueling philosophies of rock and roll are on full display with Noel convinced it’s about the music, while Liam revels in the trappings of stardom. Noel calls Liam a dick; Liam calls Noel a dickhead. They talk about how they hate each other and repeatedly tell each other to fuck off.
WINNER: Liam with his request for Noel to “stick your thousand pounds right up your fuckin’ arse till it comes out your fuckin’ big toe.â€
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The Tambourine (September 1994)
Considered by some to be among the worst gigs of all time, the band members find themselves at the Whisky a Go Go in Los Angeles with aspirations to break into the American market. An inebriated Liam antagonizes Noel by changing his lyrics (“Maybe I don’t really wanna know / Why you pick your noseâ€), slags off the American audience, and strikes Noel with a tambourine. Noel walks off the tour and quits the band, fleeing to San Francisco, where he is tracked down by Creation exec Tim Abbot. They decamp to the Luxor hotel in Las Vegas, where Abbot talks him down and convinces him to reconcile with Liam and resume the tour in Minneapolis.
WINNER: The affair would later inspire Noel to write the song “Talk Tonight,†so while Liam scored early points with the tambourine, Noel earns the draw by turning it into music.
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The Cricket Bat (1995)
During the sessions for Oasis’s second album, (What’s The Story) Morning Glory?, Liam returns to the studio from a day at the pub with a throng of fellow daytime revelers, much to the chagrin of Noel, who has been dutifully at work recording. Noel yells at them to leave, starting a row that ends with Noel clubbing his younger brother on the head with a cricket bat.
WINNER: Liam definitely takes an L here, though the real winner was whoever pocketed the cash when the infamous assault weapon was later auctioned off.
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MTV Unplugged (August 1996)
In the days leading up to Oasis’s episode of MTV Unplugged at London’s Royal Festival Hall, Liam becomes increasingly erratic. He sounds and looks as though he has spent three days in the same clothes debasing himself and is unable to perform the entire set. In his absence, Noel rehearses the songs on lead vocals; when the band is introduced and Liam doesn’t walk onstage, Noel opens the set with “Good evening! Liam ain’t gonna be with us tonight because he’s got a sore throat, so you’re stuck with the ugly four.†Later, a cameraman catches Liam in the balcony, drinking beer and heckling his brother. When the MTV producers ask them to rerecord one of the songs as an encore, Liam tries to come down to join them and is promptly told to fuck off by Noel.
WINNER: It’s hard to find a winner here. Liam’s presence gives off huge “I just can’t quit you†vibes, and while Noel’s performance on lead (and backup!) vocals is valiant, the set really drives home the fact that the songs just aren’t as good when Liam isn’t singing them.
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Oasis … Minus One (August 1996)
Four days later, the group is set to embark on an American arena tour, but Liam backs out at the last second, reportedly owing to a request from his then-wife to go house-hunting. The band continues the tour with Noel on lead vocals, though Liam will rejoin the tour by late August. Years later, Noel cites the incident as a reason why Oasis never caught on in the U.S. the way they did in the U.K. “The first gig was a 16,000-seat arena, and the singer’s not turned up,†he tells the New York Times in 2011. “That killed us stone dead in America. This is rock’n’roll. Would Johnny Rotten have gotten a house on the eve of an American tour? Keith Richards? John Lennon? You either want it or you don’t, and I blame him for us never becoming as big in America as we were in England.â€
WINNER: This one’s an L for everyone except Liam’s Realtor.
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The Paternity Diss (May 2000)
On tour in Barcelona in 2000, drummer Alan White suffers a bout of tendinitis and the band is forced to cancel their gig. They spend the night getting sloshed, and the brothers come to blows shortly after Liam questions the paternity of Noel’s daughter with Meg Mathews. Noel decides he is done touring internationally altogether, and the band is forced to continue the tour without him. He would eventually return for the tour’s dates in Ireland and the U.K. Asked about the incident five years later, Noel would say, “I’ve never forgiven him because he’s never apologized.â€
WINNER: Noel. Liam would eventually apologize and collect his L.
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“I Can Fucking Play Him Like a Slightly Disused Arcade Game†(October 2005)
Noel spent a great deal of the aughts taking shots at Liam in the press. When his brother had his teeth knocked out in a brawl with police in Germany, he told a newspaper, “All I’m bothered about is that he can still sing.†But he was particularly pointed in a 2005 interview with Spin magazine, in which he claimed he used psychology to manipulate his brother: “I can read him and I can fucking play him like a slightly disused arcade game,†he said. “I can make him make decisions that he thinks are his but really they’re mine. Without fighting. It’s an art I’ve learned.â€
WINNER: Liam, clearly. If any of this was true, the last 30-plus years would likely have played out quite differently.
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The Guitar (August 2009)
A month after canceling a gig at London’s V Festival owing to Liam’s laryngitis, the band is on the lineup at the Rock en Seine festival in Paris. But five minutes before they’re set to perform, the brothers have a meltdown: Liam chucks a plum at the wall, storms off, then returns with Noel’s guitar, which he swings around “like an ax,†destroying the dressing room. They never reach the stage, and Bloc Party’s Kele Okereke is forced to make the somber announcement to the crowd that Oasis will not be performing.
Noel later posts a note to the band’s website clarifying that Oasis is indeed done for good. “It’s with some sadness and great relief to tell you that I quit Oasis tonight,†he wrote. “I simply could not go on working with Liam a day longer.†Tension requires opposing forces that make things bend, not break, and Liam finally pushed his brother too far and, in the process, incinerated his biggest meal ticket for 15 years.
WINNER: None. No one at that festival — especially the plum — deserved this.
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Oasis … Minus the Other One (February 2010)
While the rest of Oasis carried on without Noel as Beady Eye, it didn’t take long for Liam to express his bitterness at his brother’s departure. Six months after the backstage implosion in Paris, Oasis is awarded Best British Album of the Last 30 Years at the 2010 BRIT Awards for (What’s the Story) Morning Glory? Representing the band by himself, Liam accepts the award with a speech short and bittersweet — “Listen, kids. I wanna thank Bonehead, Guigs, Alan White, the best fans in the fucking world. Live Forever!†— notably omitting his brother. He then throws his microphone and the award into the crowd.
WINNER: Childish? Yes. Hilarious? Absolutely. Liam takes the W.
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The Lawsuit (August 2011)
While doing press for his solo act, Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds, Noel claims the band’s canceled gig at V Festival in 2009 is one of the reasons he quit the band and gives an interview in which he claims it happened because Liam was hung-over. This incenses Liam to the point that he is moved to litigate, and he files a lawsuit against his brother for libel. The only relief sought by the younger Gallagher? An apology. He gets it, and the suit is quickly dropped.
WINNER: More than any of their other fights, this episode of their ongoing saga proves that the brothers really do carry equal parts love and hate for each other in their hearts. Liam didn’t want his brother’s money; he just wanted him to say he was sorry. And he did.
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The Potato (May 2016)
WINNER: Liam, obviously.
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The Potato Part Two (June 2016)
Noel would try to brush off the potato pic with a diss alluding to his post-Oasis success — “I guess it was about him staying relevant. If you’re him, what else is there to tweet about?†— but the damage was done. The potato jokes, however, were not.
WINNER: Liam, grinning as he sharpens his potato peeler.
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The Manchester Benefit (June 2017)
After Liam was invited to perform at a benefit for the victims of the bombing at an Ariana Grande concert in Manchester, some speculated that Noel might join him, burying the hatchet for a universally accepted good cause. He did not, and Liam predictably dragged him on Twitter, making him look like the reasonable one for once:
“Noels out of the fucking country weren’t we all love get on a fucking plane and play your tunes for the kids you sad fuck,†he tweeted, following up with “Fuck the reunion mate it ain’t about oasis it’s about people helping other people and he’s once again shown his true fucking colours.â€
WINNER: Liam. Fair or not, he comes off looking like the man of the people, while Noel seems as if he can’t be bothered to leave Bono’s yacht in Saint-Tropez.
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The Potato Part 3 (November 2017)
Later that year, when Noel performed on Later … With Jools Holland with the High Flying Birds, one of the Birds was playing a peculiar instrument: a pair of scissors. “She’s French, and she’s eccentric,†Noel explained. In response, Liam jokingly recruited a fan to peel a potato onstage at one of his shows.
WINNER: Draw. Sure enough, a fan did bring a potato and a peeler to his show in London the next night. But within three months, potato peelers would be banned from the 2018 Parklife festival, where Liam performed.
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“I’d Put the Pair of ’Em in a Driverless Car Each So It Fuckin’ Ran Into Each Other†(November 2017)
That same month, Noel appeared on the popular Pitchfork series “Over/Under,†in which artists declare various things and topics over- or underrated. Deciding Twitter is “overrated,†Noel calls the platform “the playground of fucking idiots,†noting his brother shares a predilection for tweeting with then-President Trump, “and, quite literally, I’d put the pair of ’em in a driverless car each so it fuckin’ ran into each other.â€
WINNER: Noel. He’s not wrong — he’s just an asshole!
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Coal for Christmas (December 2017)
Noel tells the Sydney Morning Herald that he’s been in contact with Liam. “I got a little thing through the door from his management team and so I think there’s been a bit of a reach-out and a bit of a truce,†he says. He even tweets out a holiday greeting:
The next day, Noel appears on a podcast dissing Liam, Richard Ashcroft, and Ed Sheeran for using an “army of songwriters†to write their songs, suggesting that he, Paul Weller, and Johnny Marr were the only British rock solo artists to write their own songs.
WINNER: Noel. Having the podcast episode on which you diss your brother drop the day after he publicly wishes you well is deliciously evil and monstrously petty.
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“Fuck the Truce†(January 2018)
WINNER: Anyone within arm’s reach of a bowl of popcorn.
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“Oi Tofu Boy†(April 2020)
During the COVID-19 lockdown, Noel shares a previously unheard song called “Don’t Stop …†recorded at an Oasis sound check in Hong Kong 15 years ago. The song features Noel on vocals, which irked Liam enough to respond, “Oi tofu boy if your gonna release old demos make sure im singing on it and boneheads playing guitar on it if not it’s not worth a wank as you were LG x.â€
WINNER: Liam. The song is fine, but “Oi tofu boy†is an all-time opening to a diss tweet.
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“Why you such a massive cunt†(June 2021)
Noel makes a rare appearance on social media, inviting fans to participate in an “Ask Me Anything†session on Reddit to promote his new greatest-hits collection. He pointedly specifies the request is for questions about “the last 10 years†— an apparent attempt to limit discussion on Oasis — and Liam wastes no time seizing the opportunity. “Why you such a massive cunt†he asks sans punctuation. When a fan implores him to think of their mother, he replies, “She asked me to ask him,†an assertion that is both dubious and hilarious.
WINNER: Yet another dub for Liam. Say what you will about his antics, but the man is a legendary poster.
“The Great Wait Is Over†(August 2024)
The feud, for now, subsides (though the bruvs are probably still trading insults).
WINNER: To be determined, but hopefully everyone — British tabloids excepted — if this reunion goes off without a hitch.