Many thanks to episode writers Jenna Lamia (also the creator and showrunner) and Leila Cohan for recognizing that while we only have six episodes to lay out this entire murder mystery, every good family drama deserves at least one complete dumpster fire of a family dinner. And oh, boy, do we get a full-on Winbury meltdown in “The Perfect Family.â€
Obviously, the tension at the Winbury estate was already trending up, what with the dead body, the canceled wedding, the numerous affairs going on, and, you know, just general familial disdain, but that tension pretty much explodes in episode three. This is thanks to two separate catalysts: Amelia’s growing suspicion that the Winburys aren’t good people and the big People magazine interview that, no, Greer has not canceled even though, oh, how she wishes she could. (Is anyone buying that?)
The episode kicks off with Amelia still at the police station, where she informs Detective Henry and Chief Carter that not only was Merritt pregnant with Tag’s baby, but that contrary to popular belief, Merritt didn’t really sleep around; she believed sleeping with a man meant you gave away your power — so if Merritt was sleeping with Tag, she must have really loved him.
The police want some physical evidence of the affair — receipts, hotel bills — while they check up on the pregnancy thing, so Amelia does some early-morning snooping in Tag’s office. We already know the receipt for that bracelet is missing — we saw Tag looking for it earlier — and Amelia comes up empty-handed, too. She does, unfortunately, also run into Greer in the hall. Greer knows immediately that something’s up because Amelia says she’s wandering around looking for a drink and Greer knows that’s impossible because all super-rich people keep carafes of water by their guest’s bedside; Amelia is so normie it physically pains Greer. More importantly, she informs her daughter-in-law-to-be-maybe that she wants her to feel comfortable in their home, but she will cut a bitch if she sees Amelia in Tag’s office again. Tag may have done some bad, bad things, but there is Greer, still protecting his ass.
And this is exactly the kind of behavior Greer cites as a sign of “unconditional love†during the People interview. It’s weird and not romantic at all, but sure, protecting your partner at all costs is a thing people do. Tag chimes in that “a healthy sex life†doesn’t hurt either. And then Tag goes off about their wonderful marriage and enduring love, and he’s goofy and a little wild, and Greer absolutely hates it. He even starts singing “Greatest Love of All.†Whatever size butthole Greer has, she is definitely clenching it throughout this interview. We’ve established that Greer is a master at keeping up appearances, but a few cracks are showing. For instance, when asked about her inspiration for Dolly, her protagonist, she mentions some “wealthy aunts,†among other things. The interviewer immediately comments that she never talks about her family. Tag makes a face. Greer brushes it off, but something tells me that’s a slip-up. Greer would never let it happen if not for all the added stress.
While Greer subtly tries to rein her husband in during the interview, she lets loose on him once they’re alone as they get ready for the big family photo. I would like this scene to be about three times as long. There’s so much meat there, and we are only getting but a glimpse into what’s really going on within Tag and Greer’s marriage. While Greer begins by admonishing her husband for his “romantic drivel†and also comparing her to a workhorse, it doesn’t take long for her to wade into snide (but vague) remarks about Merritt. Tag tries to turn things around on her, telling her that all he’s ever wanted is her — “That’s my fucking sickness,†he says — and that he wants to “get away from this bullshit†and “get away from these lies.†We get no specifics as to what lies he might be talking about, but such is life in the middle of a fictional thriller. Greer doesn’t care for Tag’s brand of bullshit either, informing him that guilt is “not transferable†before slapping him. Tag kisses her. She pulls away, straightens herself out, and exits that little situation. The portrait of a modern American marriage.
The family photo is yet another example of Greer presenting the Winburys as a loving, aspirational family; God, isn’t she trying so hard to make that photo work? But Greer’s not the only one cheesing for the camera while she burns with white-hot rage inside. Amelia’s spent the day learning some interesting new information about people she thought she had a handle on. During a conversation with Abby about the Winburys and NDAs, Amelia learns that Abby also had to sign one five years prior after Will’s French tutor Mae Pratt mysteriously left without warning. Mae was apparently friends with Benji from school — Abby’s surprised Benji never mentioned it to Amelia. When Amelia questions her fiancé about it, he brushes off the lies-and-secrets part of the conversation and instead gets frustrated with Amelia for harping on these innocent little NDAs their family makes people sign. More normie behavior from Amelia.
None of this is sitting right with Amelia, who, for a protagonist meant to be the audience surrogate, has thus far tended to make not terrible choices, and we love that for her and for us. Benji’s acting weird, and what’s a girl to do but snoop a little? When she opens up his sketchbook, she finds several pictures of Merritt tucked away. Hey, snooping is always a risk!
At the moment, Amelia doesn’t actually know the most damning evidence against Mr. Mate for Life Benji Winbury: Detective Henry and Chief Carter dig into Merritt’s phone and see that she had been ignoring someone who was desperately trying to reach her — the “DL†we saw her ignore in episode one. They find a voice-mail from this caller, and wouldn’t you know, it’s Benji. He sounds panicked on the phone, promising Merritt that he won’t bring “this†up once she arrives in Nantucket. And that whatever “this†is “would break [Amelia’s] heart.†In the flashbacks, Merritt seems hooked on Tag, so was Benji just obsessed with her? Was it a onetime hookup? Or is something else entirely going on here? He does seem to have it bad for Amelia, so an affair would be a little surprising. Still! You never know what these shady-ass Winbury boys are up to.
Speaking of: We should talk about young Will. That obvious crush he had on Merritt might get him into a lot of trouble. The night of the rehearsal dinner, he pulls Chloe Carter aside while she works her catering job to hang out and drink mojitos in his secret beach hiding spot as only a rich teen on Nantucket can do. Chloe seems to have a thing for Will, so off to drink blueberry mojitos they go. It doesn’t take long for Will to spot Merritt looking distressed on the beach and run off to follow her. By the time he returns, it’s dark out, and Chloe passed out from her solo mojito binge (we’ve all been there); she wakes up to Will bleeding profusely from a gash in his hand — the bloody shirt we saw her hide in bedroom in episode one finally gets some context. Whatever happened on the beach, whatever led to that injury, Will is stressed about it — stressed enough to climb through Chloe’s window to talk to her while her father, the chief of police, is home. He doesn’t get to say much to Chloe before Chief Carter threatens his life and kicks that kid to the curb … but via the front door this time. Chloe, girl, you could do so much better.
Chief Carter might be looking to speak to Will in a much more official capacity soon: They learn that the fingerprints on the oyster-shucking knife found at the scene belong to Will, the blood on the sand belongs to both Will and Merritt, and Will has been spending a large portion of his time liking every single one of Merritt’s Instagram posts.
All of this — the interview, the photo shoot, the NDAs, the secret photos, Will’s general disposition — is still swirling around when the entire family, including Bruce, Karen, Isabel, and a freshly sprung-from-the-police-station Shooter, sit down for dinner. I have to say, it’s quite refreshing to have a protagonist in a murder mystery say what’s on her mind rather than bury what’s bothering her and avoid digging into the evidence — and that’s exactly what Amelia does when mere minutes into the meal, she asks not only why they make people sign NDAs, but pushes back on the “Greer’s a public figure†party line by bringing up Mae Pratt.
Oh, baby, do things unravel quickly. Much of this unraveling is thanks to Tom, who, still feeling spurned by his dad and seemingly not giving a fuck anymore about getting into his good graces, loves seeing his family squirm. This might honestly be the best night of his life; he’s having so much fun. He doesn’t make Amelia wait for an answer; he rolls out the full story right at the table: Mae was Will’s French tutor, Tag started sleeping with her, and when Tag called it off, Mae attempted suicide, and to keep it all quiet, the Winburys made a monetary settlement with Mae and Mae had to disappear. Now, that makes it sound all nice and clean, but please be advised that while Tom is telling this story, everyone is yelling. His father calls him an “insecure little prick,†and Greer is trying to change the subject, and Will completely loses it. He hates this family, they can all fuck off, but that is especially true for Tag. He can’t even stand the sight of his father and he takes off.
Abby, who more and more reveals a deep obsession with keeping Greer happy, tries to keep a conversation about Chablis versus Chardonnay going but fails spectacularly. The interaction between Dakota Fanning and Nicole Kidman here, when Greer cuts Abby off with a hand wave and an “it doesn’t matter,†is just so fun; I wish they had more scenes together.
Greer can only contain herself for so long, and when she sees that Tag isn’t even pretending to get up and go talk to Will, she yells at him to “go and check on your son, Tag! Do something, for once!†But Will’s gone. Even out on the beach at night, Tag doesn’t seem too concerned with locating his son, but Greer reams him out one more time: “If anything happens to him, I will never fucking forgive you.†She seems like she means it! And she might have a reason to make good on that promise.
It turns out Will is setting sail for the high seas to escape the shackles of his terrible family. He spent years blaming himself for Mae leaving the way she did because days prior to her departure, he told her he had a crush on her. The guilt of her attempted suicide and humiliation led him into a depression — when it turned out it was just Tag being a dick again. The really unfortunate part of the situation, though, is that Chloe arrives to check on her friend and doesn’t want him to leave by himself, so she hops on the boat with him, and they set sail … right into an oncoming storm. Again, Chloe, we need to talk about your life choices here.
Carter and Henry will want to track down Will soon enough, and not just because he’s putting Chloe in danger, but because they also have footage from the rehearsal dinner in which Will and Merritt seem to be getting into a heated conversation on the beach, and when Amelia joins the Will search party, she winds up at his secret beach hiding spot, where she finds Merritt’s gold bracelet. She promptly delivers that to Detective Henry.
Wedding Favors
• The cops don’t have enough to keep Shooter, so he returns to Summerland. When he shows up, he pulls Greer aside and says, “I didn’t say anything about the money, but should I be worried?†Greer says no and moves on. What was the money for? And should Shooter be worried?! I hope he’s not going to be the fall guy here.
• The fact that Abby has been a part of the Winbury family for at least five years and doesn’t know if Will is 13 or 17 is just so right on the money.
• Detective Henry learns some interesting information from Isabel about the Winburys: Almost all of Tag’s family’s money is tied up in trusts that are unavailable to them at the moment, and this is why Greer is such a prolific writer — they need the money. Also, while Will seems anxious and depressed, Benji apparently had some temper issues when he was younger — enough to get kicked out of school.
• My greatest dream has come true: Carter and Henry are friends! Chief Carter is showing off his fancy store-bought pasta sauce (he adds his own garlic), and the two are commiserating about the joys of raising teenagers. I would not hate a buddy-cop spinoff with these two.