In this week’s magazine, Alex Morris goes inside the bubble with Justin Bieber, and sees it all: the down-and-dirty vocal warm-ups (“He snorts like a horse along the scales. Then he meows like a kittenâ€), the singular mania of the Beliebers (““We’re sharing the same oxygen as Justin Bieberâ€), the fears and nightmares of Bieber himself (“I’m claustrophobic, really badâ€). To supplement Morris’s story, we here at Vulture have taken a look at another part of the Bieber phenomenon: his powerful, agile, often karate-like dancing. Doing our part to further the field of Bieberology, we’ve identified all 25 Bieber dance moves. Click and learn.
Every night, a different lucky girl gets double-pointed at.
Cover your ears for this one, folks!
Sadly, these back-up dancers would never walk again.
A deceptively intricate two-part maneuver.
Michaelangelo probably wishes he could have painted Bieber.
An extremely complicated step possible only thanks to Bieber’s Nate Robinson-esque vertical leaping abilities.
Check out the similarities here. Kevin James: clearly an inspiration for Bieber.
Usher created it; Bieber has perfected it.
Such poise. Such elegance.
James Brown created it; Bieber perfected it.
Whenever Bieber does this move, army recruitment increases instantly.
David Blaine has never been able to figure out the “point†part.
Whenever Bieber does this move, the divorce rate drops instantly.
Looks simple, right? Not pictured: Bieber’s feet, which are completing a 500-piece jigsaw puzzle.
Tommie Smith and John Carlos are very proud of Bieber.
Off the drum riser!
In this restorative move, Bieber’s backup dancers faith-heal the injuries he sustained while attempting the David Lee Roth.
Bieber: also a classically trained ballerina.
Bieber raises a barn.
Bieber and his dancers point out the location of the venue’s five infirmaries for when you need to faint.
Sometimes, just for the hell of it, Bieber will perform an entire show while standing on one foot.
Notice how Bieber just avoids touching his fans’ gross bacteria-covered hands here.
Does Bieber really exist? Do you really exist?
No, really, he can’t. The last time he heard anything but shrieking was over a year ago.
Canadian child labor laws stipulate that Bieber be allowed to do at least one of his dance moves while seated.