Now that Jersey Shore’s headed to Italy, Snooki knew she’d have to up the drama quotient in her own vaguely anticipated spinoff. In order to continuously compete for fame, JWOWW-Snooki’s show would have to be suspenseful! It would have to be dramatic! So here’s the reported narrative arc: “Snooks is finally moving out of her parents’ house and into a place with JWOWW — but she’s unprepared to deal with actual problems. The two have their sights set on a $1.5 million pad, but they don’t know what a mortgage is. Or how to write a check. Conflict erupts because Snooki ‘didn’t change the toilet paper.’ She also ‘ate a ton of JWOWW’s food.’” Okay, so the plot doesn’t sound like much of anything. But! Being able to afford a $1.5 million home without knowing how to write a check? That is the story of the American dream. [TMZ]