Fug Girls: 2013 Golden Globe Fashion Hits and Misses

When we saw her standing, next to her limo, shot from the waist up, this seemed like a potentially inoffensive affair. And then the camera panned down and we realized she was wearing the window treatments from a French brothel’s master bathroom.

Clearly, these two are on everyone’s fantasy dinner party list (alongside Jennifer Lawrence and Emma Stone, and at least one hot dude we can all lovingly objectify), but we were doubly pleased to see them dishing out their signature wit looking so freaking foxy. These are two women over forty who aren’t afraid of their age, and also know how to look stunning without forsaking chewable food – admirable examples, both.

No doubt, spending too much time with Hannah Horvath had us concerned that Dunham was going to show up in something off-putting and ill-fitting. But, unlike Hannah, Lena's got Zac Posen on speed-dial – and her old babysitter didn't steer her wrong. It didn’t come across in photos as well as it did on TV, but after her upset wins, we don’t think she’s going to care.

Kidman’s gown started out interestingly, and ended gracefully, but everything in the middle is distracting and nonsensical. Kind of like Eyes Wide Shut. Are we still allowed to make Eyes Wide Shut jokes? You can't stop us.

Okay, stick with us here. Yes, the top of Kate Hudson's dress is nuts. But it's kind of fabulously nuts – both sexy and retro, like what Lady Mary would wear if she had to go out and make rent money.

Don't lie. You were wondering how to sex up Victorian mourning dress. Thanks to Longoria for showing us what happens when you take a leotard, Angelina Jolie's Oscars Leg, the lost remnants of the wardrobe of a tremendously sad flamenco dancer, and shake them together. The cocktail is not very appetizing.

Big props to Cotillard for pulling off a cocktail length frock with such aplomb. It probably helps that she's French – but you can't discount the fact that this dress also feels incredibly fresh and modern. Death to the fishtail hem!

Sigh. Jennifer Lawrence is adorable and talented, which is why she deserved to win wearing a dress that didn't stick eyelids on her breasts.

It is absurd that Homeland’s Danes had a baby a month ago and still looks like this – and yet did we ever suspect it would go any other way? Bravo to her for going with something subtly sexy that also doesn’t look like it’s trying to prove a point. 

It is equally absurd, or at least curious, that Homeland’s Morena Baccarin has one of the most perfect enviable figures in Hollywood but still can’t seem to flatter it. We appreciate her bizarre sense of adventure, but this manages to look dowdy even with the sparkles – as if it got run over by a sequined steam-roller.

Playing the supportive "it's not about me tonight" role as the famous date to a famous nominee is a hard line to walk. We have to give it up to Garner for looking gorgeous in her own right in red sequins, but not so flashy that she's going to draw focus from Ben. At least she can wear whatever she wants to the Oscars.