This Week in Jennifer Lawrence Quotes: The Loose-Bowel-Movement Edition

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire press tour continued this week, which means the world was treated to yet another round of gems from the unstoppable, sound-bite-generating entity that is Jennifer Lawrence. This week brought a mixture of the usual charming, off-the-cuff bon mots and some occasional bouts of verbal diarrhea — literally — as the star, who was hospitalized for abdominal pains prior to the film’s L.A. premiere, took every available opportunity to regale interviewers with the intricate workings of her lower intestine. Then again, it’s J. Law, so even when she talks about crapping her pants, it’s kinda adorable. Here are all the things we learned about the Catching Fire star this week: 

She’s forthcoming about her struggles with flatulence:
“My publicist was just telling me that the last story that’s out is that I went to the hospital because I had gas. Which, I was like, ‘I’d like to confirm them. I think we should.’ I had my first fart in the hospital!�

Like, really forthcoming:
“You can only shit your pants so many times a day before you like have to go to the emergency room, before you’re like ‘I need to go to the hospital’ … I just did this thing yesterday called an endoscopo-something, where they put you to sleep. And it’s pretty clear when you first meet me, I’m a freakin’ head case and I’m crazy, so I’m in there like, ‘Ugh, what are these?! What do they mean?! What does that say?!’�

But even during a medical emergency, her pop-culture priorities are in order:
“The first lucid conversation I remember having was about the Kardashians, and then I put my hand on the anesthesiologist’s chest and said, “Will you please just promise me something? Will you promise me you’ll watch Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, please?’�

When Letterman asked her if she is a hypochondriac:
“I don’t know what that means but it sounds like a disease, which means I have it.�

When it comes to the Hunger Games franchise, she’s in it for the long haul:
“We’re going to make them like the Now [That’s What I Call Music albums], get all the way up to 47, 48: We’re even hungrier. Or the last one: We’re finally full.�

She used to see a shrink for social anxiety:
“My nickname was ‘Nitro,’ as nitroglycerin. I was hyperactive, curious about everything. When my mother talks about my childhood, she always says there was a light within me. When I went to school, this light went out.�

When asked to pick a dream Hunger Games teammate, she forgets about that whole box-office rivalry thing:
“Thor, I love Thor. Oh, I really love Thor�.

She wants to remind people that her haircut is not a matter of national security:
“If anyone wants to know the weirdest thing, it’s getting your hair cut and seeing it on the news. Terrorists probably knew about my haircut.�

She wasn’t crazy about that sheer Dior dress. You know the one:
“I think any time a girl has to show her thighs, it’s never going to be her favorite look. I loved the dress … if someone else wore it.�

She refers to Woody Harrelson as “Uncle Woody�:
“I love these movies. I love my boys and Uncle Woody. It’s gonna be so awful when it’s over. I’m seriously going to be that crazy lady that’s still showing up to set like ‘Where’s Josh!?’�

Even though he contributes to her pants-crapping. Everything does.
“[Woody] was actually the other reason that I almost crapped my pants, weirdly. He gave me some healthy drink that was so healthy I think it shocked my system, and I was at work and I was like, ‘Woody, is there something in there that can make me crap my pants?’ And he was like ‘Yeah, yeah, there’s lots of stuff,’ and starts listing all this stuff and then I started sweating and I was like, it’s happening, it’s happening.�

She knows exactly how to treat Jon Stewart:
“They told me not to look at your nipples.�

She’s excited for her upcoming ten-day vacation from doing press, though she’ll still be kept on a tight leash:
“I have to wear a bell around my neck, but they do let me run around a little.�

She very nearly ended her press tour at The Daily Show with a Thanksgiving treat:
“I passed that turkey backstage, and I thought for one second about putting it on my head and running out, but then I thought, ‘Ehh, you have enough attention. Maybe it’s time to rest.’�