Video-sharing app Vine — which will be discontinued in the coming weeks — was one of the strangest, dumbest, and most creative places online. But don’t take our word for it! What follows are the greatest Vines of all time, as chosen by Select All editors and colleagues. They are in no particular order, and run the full gamut of Vine — from stupidly hilarious to hilariously stupid. Long may they loop in our memory.
Apple Store Woman
In many ways, the Apple Store woman was the quintessential Vine. She is at once both hilarious in her anger, and understandable. Anyone who owns an Apple product has had to endure the Apple Store. This woman is a monument to that experience. —Brian Feldman
Squidward Hit the Dab
The brevity of Vines and the easiness of recording them made them superb for capturing moments that nobody might believe otherwise, such as the Squidward dabbing. Nobody would believe that this happened were it not for Vine, and honestly, I still kinda don’t. —BF
Why You Always Lying
So many questions about this one, but the two I always think of are: (1) why wasn’t this released as a single, and (2) what’s up with the toilet? —BF
Eyebrows on Fleek
Vine, for as short-lived as it was, bore new additions to the cultural vocabulary that will outlast us all. Never forget “on fleek,†created by Peaches Monroee two years ago to describe the next-level flawlessness of her eyebrows. (Because “on point†just didn’t do them justice.) It has since been adapted (and appropriated) for those crucial “feeling myself†moments, no matter how uncool you still sound saying it out loud. —Dee Lockett
Back at It Again Krispy Kreme
This is the Vine that finally made me understand the hypnotizing power of the Loop. Every time I watch it, I think, “This is it. This time, the video will continue on and we’ll see the sign hit the ground.†But the sign never hits the ground and shatters, and it never will. —BF
Do It for the Vine
The sole purpose of Vine was to set aside all dignity in the name of internet fame. Grown folks knew this, teens knew this, but young children? They are mere pawns in the scheme, but dammit, if they haven’t been responsible for some of the best Vines. Just look at this little star-in the-making — she slyly pretends she won’t “do it for the Vine,†but you know she will. And when she does “it,†you’ll melt forever. —DL
Duck Army
We all know that the sound of one rubber duck toy honking is annoying. But who knew that the sound of a whole bin is (1) more like pained moaning, and (2) completely horrifying? What really gets me is the wide-eyed frozen expressions painted on the ducks’ faces, as if they’re trying to get somebody, anybody, to help free them from this miserable, loud, rubbery existence. I wonder how long it took for this hideous flock’s moans to die out after the Viner slinked away. Pour one out for all the toy-store employees who had to deal with teens re-creating this nightmare. —Marissa Cetin
Hater Blockers
Me. —BF
Weed Crayon
There are a million different things happening in this Vine. It’s like one of those hidden-image galleries in Highlights where you had to find the shoe hidden in the tree. Each time you watch it, something wrong — and yet, so right — will reveal itself. In the history of civilization, there has never been a joke funnier than dialing 911 into a microwave. —BF
I Tapped the Breaks
On a trip home from McDonald’s, after Vine star Lauren Lavoie executed one well-placed pump of the brakes, her sister Joanne gagged on a McFlurry spoon and emitted a guttural retch that would later become the audio centerpiece of a Vine that would reach 70 million users. The moment, the gag specifically, went onto become a favorite meme among power Vine users and was remixed countless times to great pop-cultural effect. — Kenny Wassus
Broom Broom
For whatever, tragic reason, the original Vine of Scottish teenager Trish Simmonds pretending to drive her mom’s car has been removed. But the short film loses none of its power as a YouTube that retains the full narrative arc: Trish is in the car, and then her mom tells her to get out of the car, and then Trish is sad. Poetry. — Max Read
Jeb Bush Loves Technology
This is probably Jeb! Bush’s most important contribution to this election, edited by Election Vine Hero Vic Berger IV from a campaign video of “Jeb[!]’s Silicon Valley Favorites,†in which Jeb! literally just names things. The *chef’s kiss* of the Vine is whatever that uncomfortable intake of breath and smile Jeb! is. Please clap! —MC
Shovel Vine
As lovely and warm and funny as Vine could be, it could also be a place of unspeakable (but still, honestly, funny) violence. Shovel girl — Miranda Fugate — is fine, by the way. —MR
Hemtube Dance
It isn’t what we say that defines us, but what we do when alone in our apartment. Korean Viner hemtube showed us how she celebrates new comfy pajamas with the help of her cat and a killer loop lifted from vaporwave artist HOME. —Byron Hulcher
Ounces Unicorn
The rhythmically perfect pairing of Migos’s “Ounces†and the floor routine of a person in a very elaborate unicorn costume, at what appears to be some sort of children’s assembly, makes this Vine transcendent. An added bonus are the two seated mascot types in the background at the very beginning of the clip, who play the perfect hypemen as our unicorn star begins its march into Vine infamy. — Andrew Leigh
What Are Those
In 2015, a year fraught with tension toward police and issues with filming them, Vine user A-RODney King added much-needed levity when he demanded an on-duty and unexpecting officer answer for his Frankenstein-esque combat boots. “WHAT ARE THOSE?†went onto garner nearly 40 million loops, and prompted thousands of users to create their own takes of the meme. —KW
Do You Guys Even Listen to Drake?
Canadian Vine star Jus Reign wants to know: Do these guys even listen to Drake? Reign, a breakout star for videos in which he plays himself and a stern father who calls him ugly, is a master of squeezing both a joke, and its surreal unraveling, into the short six seconds Vine allows. —MR
Today’s Forecast
TFW you hear Vine is getting shut down. —MR
Nae Nae to Anything
The best Vines surprised you with a new spin on a classic song. The best Viners were black high school students. Therefore, this is a perfect Vine. — Sarah Caldwell
The Quiznos Sign Spinner
The beauty of this Vine is that you think this prodigious Quiznos employee is nailing it with his sign twirls and flips … that is, until the narrator swoops in with a pithy observation. It’s rough out there for a sign spinner. — Christine Nguyen
My Best Friend
Whatever happened to the original “That’s My Best Friend†Vine seems to be about as much of a mystery as how Kendall Jenner and Young Thug also came to be credited for it. Still, there’s no question that rapper Toyko Vanity, in one tribute to her BFF, created an instant-classic meme beyond her own control. She even turned it into a full song and ringtone! We’ll always remember it as our best anthem for Shine Theory. —DL
Post Up
WorldStarHipHop used to be the place we all went to indulge our petty tendencies, but who knew the most scathing playground fight in middle-school history would live on Vine? There is no recovering from this level of poised character assassination. RIP to all her haters. —DL
Who Is She?
No one knows.