Diane Keaton Has a Thing for Chris Martin Despite Not Knowing Who He Is or What He Does

At Ellen’s birthday party, Diane Keaton saw a man across the room — a gorgeous man, who just so happened to be Chris Martin. Diane Keaton really liked this Chris Martin guy, too, despite the fact that she had no idea who he was (Diane Keaton does not seem to be aware of his indie band Coldplay). Anyway, as she explained to Ellen on TV, Diane has some real thoughts about Chris Martin, and Dakota Johnson should really watch out. In other bad news for Johnson, Keaton is not interested in seeing Fifty Shades, because “honestly, you know, the things that go on there.�