I woke up this morning and waited patiently for my familyâs much-loved babysitter to come so I could hide in a room by myself and watch the new Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion video for âWAP.â Iâd been on Twitter already; I knew what WAP stands for. So I also knew this was not a video I really wanted to have a long chat about with my 6- and 3-year-olds before breakfast.
When the time finally came, I put my headphones in and hit âplay,â prepared to watch them nail that âwet-ass pussyâ chorus in their fantasy palace of butt statues and snakes. I was prepped! Imagine my surprise, then, when the chorus I heard over and over, the supposedly âcleanâ version theyâd recorded for radio and for the music video, was actually so much dirtier than âwet-ass pussy.â Because in the clean version, itâs not âwet-ass pussy.â Itâs âwet and gushy.â And I am here to tell you that âwet and gushyâ is, in fact, a much, much nastier version of this song.
On the face of it, sure, âwet-ass pussyâ seems more explicit. It has both ass and pussy, words anyoneâs middle-school teacher would scold you for saying in class. No oneâs getting sent to the principalâs office for the word and. As a whole phrase, though, you will never convince me that âwet-ass pussyâ is dirtier than âwet and gushy.â First, while âwet-ass pussyâ is more anatomically specific, it lacks action. The wetness of the pussy in that image is already a fait accompli. Itâs there, available; itâs a plain, clearly stated fact.
Meanwhile, every ounce of obscenity in the clean version comes from the word gushy. Where âwet-ass pussyâ is a primed but inert sexual organ, gushy comes with some built-in action. The combination of wet and gushy gives the image an additional sense of motion, and itâs much more detailed in a sensory way. Nothing gushes passively. Nothing that gushes is controlled or manageable â the whole idea of the word is uncontrolled excess. The phrase is also just a touch less direct. âWet-ass pussyâ leaves nothing to the imagination, but âwet and gushyâ is oblique enough that it feels much more evocative.
Iâve now listened to both the âcleanâ and âdirtyâ versions a few times, and I do think âwet-ass pussyâ works better as a chorus. The sounds in each word are more percussive, and thereâs a rhythmic precision youâll just never get with the sloppy, soft sounds in the word gushy. But if the aim of the song is to make âwet-ass pussyâ a proudly, gloriously, heinously filthy phrase that really sinks into the cultural lexicon, then trust me: âWet and gushyâ has the filthiness crown.
More From This Series
- Megan Thee Stallion Requests Restraining Order Against Tory Lanez
- Twice Is Strategizing with Megan Thee Stallion
- The Best Songs of 2024