Single Life is the one franchise on which the cast needs to shoot their shot, right? If you’re single, the reason you’re on this spinoff is so you can meet someone and, well, not be single anymore. We’ve had a few weeks off from Tania, but she’s back this week in a big way: She has moved on from the guy who kept asking her why she wasn’t really divorced, and now she’s back on the field. This week, she decides to pursue a woman, but she quickly discovers the woman is engaged.
Could Tania have asked some questions ahead of time? Could she have listened to anything the woman said or looked at her hand? Yes! But this is Tania, and she’s too self-centered to do any of that! Instead, the woman tells her she’s engaged and Tania immediately pats herself on the back for even trying. Basically, I don’t think Tania is doing the things people really do when they’re trying to date. She doesn’t ask the other person questions. She doesn’t show interest in the other person. She just throws all of her shit at them and hopes they’ll be down to keep hanging with her.
Tania isn’t ready to take a shot at love (no Tila Tequila) because she still has feelings for the future she imagined with Syngin. And while “Until We Meet Again†tries to make it seem as though Tiffany, Veronica, and Debbie are in the same state of confusion, that’s just not the case! Those three are in very different places in life than Tania! Tiffany’s divorce has been finalized. Debbie is a widow. Veronica is perpetually single! Even Tania’s sister can tell she’s still a woman who defines herself by her marriage.
Tiffany … it’s time for us to hold you accountable like your 10-year-old child did last week. Girl! Fabian is just trying to have sex with you! You’re just trying to have sex with him! You are in a glorious rebound phase, and instead of enjoying Broke Fabio, you’re ending things with him! Why? Again, you don’t need a new stepdad for your children. You aren’t looking for your next husband. But I guess there’s nothing to be done about that. If Tiffany wants a partner who’s ready to be a dad, fair enough. Good-bye, Broke Fabio! You did your best to get Tiffany into her slut era, but sadly it wasn’t enough.
It does seem as if Debbie is in her slut phase, though! What else can you call it when a lady moves in with her boyfriend because finding her own place is too hard? Debbie bought a storage unit, and she’s getting ready to move to Canada with Tony. Debbie’s friend points out that this is all very quick and she hasn’t really thought this move through — she hasn’t even told Colt about it! Debbie is lying to everyone around her because it makes it easier to lie to herself.
Speaking of lying, Veronica accuses Jason of lying, but what’s actually happening is that she’s just lost her shit! Girl, your relationship with Tim is not at all similar to Jason’s relationship with his ex-wife and the mother of his children! Jason told Veronica he might need to move to Florida with his kids as soon as he knew about it. Veronica holds this against him and acts as though he lied about his intentions. She says she’s looking for a husband, but she can’t even have a calm conversation with a man who’s trying to explain his co-parenting arrangement.
It’s impossible to be on her side here, and frankly, I was happy Jason just gave up on her! Veronica literally tries to act like Jason shouldn’t prioritize co-parenting or his kids’ mother, and that’s just wild! Tim isn’t even the father of her kid, yet she thinks Jason should take Tim into account. Her double standard is ridiculous, and it’s starting to become clear she’s not on this show to find the love of her life.
After Tania, Debbie, and Veronica, we’re left with Caesar and Natalie. Usually, those two are good for some wild times, but they keep it pretty tame this week. Caesar says good-bye to Alona, the woman he chose from his Ukrainian matchmaking service. Their good-bye is timid and doesn’t make me believe Alona has real feelings for the man. Even though her country is on the brink of war at this point in filming, she isn’t even a little concerned when Caesar says he’s worried about her.
Natalie decides the war in Ukraine is a reason to reach out to her ex-husband, Mike. That seems like a front, though, and she’s really lashing out because Josh let her down when he didn’t promise to get her pregnant right away. Do I think she really cares that Mike checked in on her and her mom? No. But I do think Natalie is desperate to stay in the U.S., and if she doesn’t make Mike happy, he could revoke his green-card sponsorship and she would have to go back home. I am excited to see Natalie face Mike again, though, but only because they always provide some of the best 90 Day drama across the franchises.
90 Day Notes
• So glad Tania introduces the half-sister she makes out with on OnlyFans. Anyway, Tania, you’re not ready to date! Glad we got to the bottom of this. I do think she’s still in love with Syngin and she would’ve had his kids. Also, Tania, you clearly had a swimsuit on under your dress but took it off to jump into the water naked? Come on, girl, if you’re gonna shoot, shoot!
• Once more: Veronica! Calm down! He told you he might move to Florida as soon as he knew! That man has children with his ex-wife! You and Tim do not have kids together!
• Tiffany, if you call someone and they text back, that is totally normal. No one likes to talk on the phone, it’s 2022.
• I think if Colt were in Debbie’s place and he was going to move to another country, Debbie would not be okay with that at all! But she’s not even updating the kid on what she’s doing.
• Caesar, that girl was not going to cry about you leaving. She wasn’t even close to crying!