overnights

Below Deck Sailing Yacht Recap: Warm Cake

Below Deck Sailing Yacht

Mer-made a Big Mis-cake
Season 5 Episode 4
Editor’s Rating 3 stars

Below Deck Sailing Yacht

Mer-made a Big Mis-cake
Season 5 Episode 4
Editor’s Rating 3 stars
Photo: Bravo

This episode could be summed up in a single sentence: Cloyce screws up, Emma feels insecure, and the junior stews don’t want to work. Oh, and Glenn learns sudoku.

You probably came here for a bit more detail, though, so let’s expand on Cloyce’s struggles first. With 30 minutes on the clock before lunch, Glenn calls the chef back from swimming with the guests; he has never seen a chef on the water like that and is appalled. Cloyce has a tough time getting into the tender, yet another thing to add to his list of icks. He didn’t think taking a break was a big deal because the West Coast yacht captains he has worked for were more chill and didn’t mind. Cloyce is lucky he’s not working for any of the other Below Deck captains, who are far less chill than Glenn.

It’s quite suspenseful as Cloyce casually changes clothes and slowly starts to get the food ready with the clock counting down toward lunch. This makes me want to see Cloyce on Top Chef. Would he actually show some hustle then? We can only dream of a Below Deck chefs season. It seems he could’ve chopped those herbs earlier, but I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. When the hungry guests sit down to eat and are still waiting after nine minutes, I realize I was wrong to do so. They finally eat at 5:15. With such a late lunch, it makes more sense that Glenn was so concerned about the meal being on time, not wanting lunch to spoil their dinner. Cloyce admits that he underestimated his timing and that the delay is fully his fault. I appreciate the self-awareness of owning the mistake, which we see from a lot of the crew when they mess up this week.

Tonight’s theme is mermaids, so Glenn tells the guests about the legend of Es Vedrà’s mermaids, planting the seeds for a surprise appearance by Carla, whose lower third is solely “mermaid.†Somewhere, Below Deck season three’s Rocky is fuming that they paid a person for her passion. Once Carla gets her tail on, Davide has to carry her to a perch on the swim platform, where her job is mainly to wave to the guests. She splashes some water with her tail and swims, but this seems like entertainment designed for drunker patrons and/or men who want to see a hot girl, rather than for a group of relatively mild-mannered women.

For primary Amy’s 60th birthday, Cloyce tells Daisy he ordered a cake from a bakery. She suggests he could be using his extra time to do something more elevated. He decides he’ll make whipped cream and berries to go with it. Daisy’s face says it all: That is not elevated. She’s worried about the tip depending on this guy. But to the chef, she merely says it’s up to him. Cloyce tells us he hates making cakes and that’s why he didn’t. We’ve heard this from other chefs before, but you have to ask, Do you hate making money more than making cakes? Cloyce ignorantly professes to know what older women want and is betting Amy will care more about drinking than cake. I think no matter their age, the type of person who charters a yacht on reality TV will want to blow out candles on a pretty cake.

Glenn joins the guests for dinner, so the pressure is on. It seems to go fine. Cloyce’s stuffed squid garners compliments on presentation, though we don’t hear any feedback on taste. Over blue mermaid martinis, the conversation turns to Glenn’s age. They think he looks great for 63 and working in the sun. Professionally, Glenn takes the compliment but doesn’t flirt back.

In the galley, everyone is skeptical about this tiny day-old cake Cloyce ordered. While the guests are waiting for dessert, he reheats it and it totally falls apart. Why did he warm it up? They send the guests to the top deck to party with DJ Elliott and a giant bottle of Veuve Clicquot. Cloyce does damage control by frosting the cake, which now looks like a DIY foam-furniture blob. Even Emma knows you don’t ice warm cake. They skip the candles and bring the cake up already sliced. Daisy’s happy that the DJ is a distraction from the subpar dessert. Amanda may have struck out with Glenn, but the ladies seem to have more luck with Elliott, whom they convince to join them in the hot tub. Cloyce might actually have been right about Amy’s priorities because the group doesn’t touch the cake slices. A broken clock is right twice a day, after all. In the hot tub, there’s some leg-on-leg action, which is the DJ’s cue to leave. I wish we got a confessional from DJ Elliott!

After the charter, Daisy flags to Glenn that she thinks the chef will be an issue. He’s doing the bare minimum and not using his spare time for things that would elevate the food, like making cake or the bread for breakfast. Glenn thinks Cloyce can do it but needs a push. At the tip meeting, he reminds Cloyce to keep professionalism in mind and make better use of his time. Cloyce is humbled and says it’s good to have a wake-up call.

Also humbled this week is Emma. She’s feeling embarrassed about making mistakes and Gary snapping at her. She tells Daisy about it and Gary seems to overhear, but there’s no confirmation that he did. Maybe this is his being edited down? We see clips of Emma asking questions about how to do things, which seems like a green flag. It’s only the second charter, and better to ask than do it wrong, though without deckhand experience, I don’t know if her questions are all reasonable.

When they dock, Emma tries to secure the stern line, but it isn’t taut enough. Gary says this is the first thing you learn working on boats. It seems like she kind of shuts down when he shows her how to do it correctly, so he’s not sure if she doesn’t know how or she just doesn’t care. Frustrated, Emma sees it as another addition to her growing list of fuckups.

Emma says she feels surrounded by people who are all really good at what they do, which couldn’t be further from the truth. The stews are also still learning on the job, and Daisy’s worried about their being sensitive. She corrects Danni’s wine and water-glass placement without incident, but neither of the stews wants to do housekeeping. They’re at a standstill over who will do cabins tonight. Diana takes the higher road and says she won’t complain about it. If a stew complains in a cabin with only a reality-TV crew there to hear it, does it count as complaining? Danni ends up helping Diana with the cabins, and they apologize to each other. They deny the accusations of being frenemies in an interview: Complaining is all part of the job.

Later, Daisy asks Diana to prep some lime juice, and the junior stew asks what it’s used for. I think this may be a lemon-lime language misunderstanding, but then Diana says she needs to look at the margarita recipe again. This is concerning, but at least she’s aware she lacks cocktail experience. Daisy decides to have the stews practice making cocktails for the crew before their night out. She makes one Bloody Mary and then says she’s done, leaving Danni at the bar alone. Diana doesn’t understand why she has to make more; that earlier glimmer of self-awareness has been snuffed out. Daisy tells Diana to get her ass up and work. Emma tells Daisy that Diana was annoyed, and Daisy does some damage control with Diana but thinks both stews need a thicker skin. Daisy is right in this instance, but as a rule, any job posting that requires “thick skin†is a major red flag.

At dinner, Cloyce picks up the 260-euro tab. As they’re walking in, I couldn’t tell if Cloyce was drunkenly leaning on the menu stand out front, but now I’d wager he was reading the prices. They get a fixed menu, and €32.50 each, including drinks, seems like a deal. After a $25,000 tip (Amy says it was a dream birthday party), this won’t hurt the bank.

In the cars to the club, a tipsy Emma asks Diana if she’s interested in Gary. Diana says no, but the stews find the questioning a bit aggressive. Danni thinks Emma’s bringing the vibe down when she says she’s the only unfuckable girl there. This breaks my heart. At the club, Daisy hears the stews are upset, so she pulls Emma into the bathroom. I love that Emma actually seems to go to the bathroom during this conversation. Emma says she was just curious and won’t get involved anymore. The stews ask Emma, who’s sitting by herself, if she’s okay. She repeats that she won’t get involved, which feels awfully close to getting involved again.

Below Deck Sailing Yacht Recap: Warm Cake