How Brat Was Your July?

Ko explodes: An accusation of sexual misconduct against Viner turned YouTuber Cody Ko was given new life this month when the controversy was covered by commentary YouTuber D’Angelo Wallace on July 14. At a live show of her Cancelled podcast, creator Tana Mongeau accused Ko of having sex with her when he was 25 and she was 17. While the news initially made a splash on websites like Rolling Stone’s, it wasn’t until Wallace’s video that other creators, like Ko’s pal Brittany Broski, were forced to speak up.

Honey, I broke the internet: If you’re reading this, you’re probably still waiting for a flight. On July 18, independent cybersecurity company CrowdStrike released a software update that essentially crashed all IT systems globally. While this Y2K-level event affected everything from hospitals to businesses, no industry was more affected than the airlines. Instead of arriving to a board of departures and gate assignments, for days aspiring travelers were met with a blue error screen and nothing but a “:(� for comfort. According to videos of packed terminals and gate-side arguments, “:(� is an understatement.

Bumpin’ that: One Charli XCX tweet may have changed the course of American history. On July 21, President Joe Biden withdrew from the 2024 race, endorsing Vice-President Kamala Harris as his replacement. Harris’s frequent memes and the release of Charli XCX’s Brat were already fan-cam fodder. Then Charli herself tweeted “kamala IS brat.� Outlets like CNN began scrambling to explain the term, and Kelley Heyer, a New York City actress, found herself in the center of it, having created the “Apple� dance that’s been performed by everyone from Glen Powell to Kerry Washington.

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Ballerina (content) Farm

Earlier this year, almost immediately after pushing out baby No. 8, influencer Hannah Neeleman competed in the Mrs. World pageant. The stunt earned her headlines, but it wasn’t until July 20 that she all but took over the internet. In a profile that appeared in U.K publication The Times, viewers got a firsthand look at the reality of Hannah’s farm life with her husband, Daniel, and kids that wasn’t through her own phone. The article laid bare how Hannah, who once studied ballet at Juilliard, gave up her career to raise a family the size of a small country on a farm, and highlights a concerning dynamic between Hannah and her husband, including frequent interruptions and a reluctance for him to find out she once gave birth with an epidural. On July 31, Hannah released her own response, refuting this characterization. Regardless, a dark shadow has been cast over Hannah’s content — whereas, say what you will about fellow Mormon (ish) creator Nara Smith, but at least she is having fun with it.

Why it’s a 2: Even without this profile, Hannah Neeleman was reaching 9 million followers on Instagram. But the controversy surrounding the piece kicked off its own discourse cycle across Twitter and TikTok and has filled her comments with equal parts pity and support. However, if you’re waiting for Neeleman to go through some kind of feminist pirouette as a result of all this, don’t hold your breath!

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Schloss goss

On July 10, Vogue revealed that John F. Kennedy’s grandson and social-media heartthrob Jack Schlossberg was joining its staff as a political correspondent. In a media environment in which journalists are being laid off left and right, and thousands of people are clamoring for jobs, media Twitter wasn’t exactly thrilled with the stunt hiring, which reportedly pays $250 an article from a budget that barely has room for actual career freelancers as it is. For what it’s worth, it never seemed to be a real position in the first place. And let’s be honest: Who can compete with sharp analysis such as: “There’s really no way of knowing what will happen next, so stay tuned!�

Why it’s a 2: Schlossberg’s first weekend on the job involved an attempted assassination, which is almost too poetic to task a Kennedy with covering. While it doesn’t seem likely his work at Vogue will in any way sway the election, it was big news — and sure makes for some good TikToks.

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Shelley’s send-off

While Shelley Duvall spent the last years of her life out of public view, the Twitter account Shelley Duvall Archive was sure to share updates with the world. The account is run by Sarah Lukowski, a fan who lived nearby and struck up a friendship with the actress before she died on July 7. Shortly before, Lukowski shared that she had played Duvall Sabrina Carpenter’s “Espresso,� and agreed with a commenter’s suggestion that she try Chappell Roan next. In response to Duvall’s passing, Lukowski tweeted on her personal account: “I’ll always be grateful for the memories I created with her and that I was able to give her comfort and companionship.� I don’t believe in regrets, but if I had one, it’s that Duvall never heard “Hot to Go!�

Why it’s a 2: Duvall was a Hollywood legend whose disappearance later in life resulted in sordid speculation. Lukowski’s fan account, and documentation of their friendship, was instrumental in changing that perception and allowed for Duvall to receive the send-off she deserves.

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Insta-divorce

No more Notes app breakup announcements. I want Notes app breakups, in medias res. This standard was set by Sheikha Mahra bint Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum, daughter of Dubai ruler Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum. On July 16, the royal posted to her Instagram stories (and grid) a text announcement that said since her husband, Sheikh Mana bin Mohammed Al Maktoum, was “busy with other companions,� she was using this platform to end their relationship. “I divorce you, I divorce you, I divorce you,� she wrote, a nod to the now-banned Muslim act of triple repudiation, in which a husband can divorce his wife by repeating the word talaq (Arabic for “divorce�) three times. “Take care. Your ex-wife.� Icon. Icon. Icon.

Why it’s a 2: The act was more than just iconic, however. Mainstream coverage of the posts by outlets like the Washington Post and the BBC brought tens of thousands of women to her comment section, praising her bravery and assuring her that “the world stands with you.�

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Pumps in the club

On July 15, a millennial attempted to go to the club — and won’t be making that mistake again. While in Las Vegas, user Rae Christine posted a hot take on her way back from dancing, claiming that “girlies are not wearing heels in the club anymore.� While she’s 34 — “I know I don’t look my age� — she wondered if she needed to come out of retirement to teach Gen Z how it’s done. Cut to: a shot of Christine wearing perhaps the thickest, bulkiest heels imaginable. After dragging the generation for filth, the best she could muster was a neon-green dress paired with white-and-brown shoes that are better suited to a Nordstrom café than any dance floor. “Not the Easter heels,� one comment reads, alongside many that wanted to inform Christine she looked exactly her age — or older.

Across TikTok, users made their own parodies of Christine’s getup in increasingly cumbersome footwear that, thankfully, the creator is taking in stride. “You all are hilarious,� she said in a follow-up video. “I am so glad to have provided some material for some of these jokes.� Next time, however, maybe try some material that’s not neon green — when we say “Brat summer,� we don’t mean that.

Why it’s a 3: Over 19 million people saw Christine’s video, and even TMZ had her on its podcast. Unfortunately, however, “green dress girl� doesn’t have quite the same ring as “Hawk Tuah� Girl, so TBD if she’ll achieve honors such as … meeting RFK Jr.

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Clinton’s comeback

Last month, Brooke Schofield pulled her own Reesa Teesa and posted a 16-part TikTok series detailing her 2020 relationship with singer Clinton Kane. While Schofield had alluded to certain accusations before (Kane is faking his Australian accent and fabricated the death of his mother), this series was the first to lay out beat by beat what happened in their relationship and how his alleged lies unraveled. On July 13, after TikTok jumped on this story with gusto, Kane posted his own series, amounting to 30 TikToks attempting to discredit each of Schofield’s claims. In a statement to Rolling Stone, Kane’s team clarified that the death of Kane’s mother was actually “a motherlike figure� from his childhood. However, Schoefield’s fans aren’t buying it, given most of Kane’s critique came down to Schofield’s confusion of specific timelines and dates, and not the substance of her allegations.

Why it’s a 3: What started as a one-off video turned into a viral sound used by Kamala Harris’s presidential campaign. Ultimately, though, this comes down to drama between a somewhat niche online creator and a musician with a song called “Chicken Tendies.�

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AI gets awkward

I’m no celebrity, but I’d wager that even the biggest star would rather receive the worst fan art imaginable than be subjected to an AI of themselves — especially one that isn’t even accurate. On July 10, Samsung presented actress Sydney Sweeney with a cartoon version of her likeness that looks no more advanced or uncanny than your average Bitmoji. “Aww, I love it,� she said from Samsung’s Galaxy Unpacked event crowd when asked directly by the presenter what she thought. And then, because the camera still hadn’t cut: “It’s amazing they can take an image like this.� Which, actually, is an apt summation of what happened: They certainly took an image like this!

Why it’s a 4: Now, what upcoming partnership or movie deal required Sydney Sweeney to endure this? Not even her IRL presence could stop this from landing with a thud, and even the awkwardness of it couldn’t muster the viral moment Samsung craved. Instead, it was just an uncomfortable blip. Plus, I can make a Sim that looks more like Sweeney than this — so, once again, it’s Humans: 1, Robots: 0.

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Sketch speaks

Only July 8, popular Twitch streamer Sketch confirmed that footage leaked by YouTuber Pocketbook was indeed from his past as a gay adult-content creator. While Sketch, real name Kylie Cox, said he had been “living under the threat� of his OnlyFans being exposed for the past two years, creators and friends were quick to rally around him after the news broke. “Sketch was my homie yesterday, he’s my homie today, he’ll be my homie tomorrow,� FaZe Banks posted on Twitter, alongside a screenshot of his conversation with Cox and offering his support. “You guys are fkn weirdos.� Cox says the videos were from “a dark time� when he was battling addiction issues, but many fans were upset he felt the need to apologize at all.

Why it’s a 4: Sketch has 1 million followers on Twitch, counts Kai Cenat as his peer, and is responsible for the “What’s up, brother� catchphrase. He occupies a beloved space in the streaming community, one that easily overshadows scandal that shouldn’t be a scandal in the first place.

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MacAttack

On the surface, comedians Demi Adejuyigbe, Dylan Gelula, and Jeremy Levick as well as Red Scare’s Anna Khachiyan have nothing in common. In the past two months, however, each person’s feed was briefly interrupted by claims that they were selling MacBooks, with all proceeds going to St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital. It appears an extremely online, Twitter-poisoned hacker went on a rampage that specifically targeted niche online personalities. However, if there’s any person least likely to fall for a Twitter scam link, it’s whoever sits in the Venn diagram of these four creators. Those who follow the comedians just thought they were doing a bit, whereas I don’t think anyone would believe that Khachiyan would donate to a charity.

Why it’s a 5: This hack was only notable due to the specificity of its victims. It’s clear whoever was behind it all tried to get really big on 2019 Twitter and failed and is now exacting revenge.

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X vs. Z

Gen X has had enough (of the generation they themselves raised). On July 12, Eminem released his 12th studio album, The Death of Slim Shady (Coup de Grâce). In the song “Trouble,� he gripes about cancel culture, at one point rapping “You gonna cancel me, yeah? / Gen Z me, bruh?� As far as Gen Z was aware, they never really had anything to say about Eminem, but Gen X sprang to defend the artist, and by extension their entire generation, from an attack that does not exist. In a movement called “the Gen X rise,� these 40-something users began posting ominous videos soundtracked by Korn’s “Shoots and Ladders� in which their heavily filtered faces stare into the distance, as if about to go to war. Although, beyond hitting “post,� it’s unclear what the war is, or if Gen Z is even aware. Instead, the only reaction is writing some form of “?????� in the comments or leaning into the fake controversy by posting bait.

Why it’s a 5: This is a war with a brick wall. The only consequence is that it leaves the millennials unattended, and we’ve already seen the havoc they can wreak.