It’s right there in the name: They’re expendable. The members of the mercenary team in Sylvester Stallone’s Expendables movies are theoretically the people who take on missions the government can’t or doesn’t want to take, and thus they’re especially willing to put their lives on the line in dangerous situations. As depicted in the movies, though, these guys (and a handful of women) are nearly as tight-knit as the infamous “family†of the Fast and Furious movies, always defying orders and taking unnecessary risks for the sake of their teammates.
So which ones are actually expendable? With the fourth movie in the action franchise, the annoyingly titled Expend4bles, currently in theaters, the team now encompasses nearly 20 members, many of whom are not exactly essential, either to the missions or to the viewing experience. The movies have included big-name action stars like Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis, Jean-Claude Van Damme, and, uh, Kelsey Grammer as allies and adversaries, but only the actual members of the team can be considered Expendables. Here’s a rundown of every team member, ranked in order from most to least expendable.
18.
Lash (Levy Tran)
A new addition as of Expend4bles, Lash continues the series’ unfortunate tradition of objectifying the female team members, even while showcasing their abilities in combat. Lash briefly gets to wield a nasty-looking razor whip, but her most notable contribution to the movie is ogling longtime member Toll Road’s junk when the plot somehow calls for him to urinate on a stuck door to facilitate the team’s escape.
17.
Mars (Victor Ortiz)
In The Expendables 3, team leader Barney Ross (Stallone) decides that his teammates are all too old for this shit, and he recruits a group of younger, less interesting Expendables to help him take down arms dealer Conrad Stonebanks (Mel Gibson). They all promptly get captured, but at least some of them make useful contributions along the way. Supposed sharpshooter Mars serves no discernible purpose, and former boxer Ortiz has no screen presence. It’s surprising that Barney even remembers to rescue him.
16.
Billy the Kid (Liam Hemsworth)
At the beginning of The Expendables 2, Billy tells Barney that the mercenary life isn’t for him, and he plans to leave it all behind to join his girlfriend in France after One Final Mission. Naturally, he ends up dead at the hands of nominatively determinative villain Jean Vilain (Van Damme), providing the team with the proper motivation for vengeance. He’s more plot device than person.
15.
John Smilee (Kellan Lutz)
Of Barney’s four new recruits in The Expendables 3, Smilee is slightly less a waste of space than Mars, but he’s also far too impressed with his own supposed value. Like several other franchise characters, he suffers from survivor’s guilt, but he comes across as whiny and presumptuous rather than sympathetic. After the old Expendables reunite to save Smilee and his fellow youngsters, he still has the audacity to ask Barney when he’s taking over the team. By the next movie, he’s been completely forgotten.
14.
Easy Day (Curtis “50 Cent†Jackson)
As the team gets ready for its latest assignment in Expend4bles, Barney has to be jokingly reminded of who the newly hired Easy Day is, but it would be entirely believable if no one actually registered his presence on missions. He seems to provide brute strength, at least, as demonstrated by his one badass moment of slamming a dude back and forth across the front of a moving car, but aside from that, he fades into the background, not helped by Jackson’s painfully wooden performance.
13.
Galan (Jacob Scipio)
The son of the flamboyant former Expendable Galgo (Antonio Banderas) claims to possess all of his father’s unique qualities, but where Galgo was endearingly awkward, Galan is just off-putting. Scipio fails to channel Banderas’s charm or depth, and when Galan stops speaking for a while in response to trauma, it’s easy to lose track of him. He finds his voice again to deliver a disturbingly intense speech about revenge that at least proves his dedication to the team, but it’s nearly as unpleasant as his earlier vulgar bragging about golden showers.
12.
Luna (Ronda Rousey)
Her sole previous experience as a nightclub bouncer would seem to render Luna a bit underqualified compared to other Expendables, but she outshines her fellow new recruits in The Expendables 3 when it comes to kicking ass. She also gets Barney to open up emotionally, although not without the requisite hints that she’d be open to dating him. She has a brief shining moment of knocking out and restraining Stonebanks, but then she gets captured with the rest of the newbies once he escapes.
11.
Toll Road (Randy Couture)
It’s hard to fathom how Toll Road has been one of the four core Expendables across all four movies and yet appears to contribute almost nothing. His supposed demolition expertise is minimally helpful, and he’s not the strongest or the best shooter or even the guy that everyone wants to hang out with. In the first movie, he reveals that he’s in therapy, but he never seems any less stunted than the other guys. When he gets grievously injured in Expend4bles, it’s almost an afterthought for his teammates to take care of him and bring him to safety.
10.
Thorn (Glen Powell)
Thorn is by far the most useful of the third movie’s new faces, thanks to his movie-style “hacking†abilities that involve pressing lots of buttons in quick succession. He’s also a competent planner who presents a more calculated alternative to Barney’s typical “go in with guns blazing†strategy for taking down Stonebanks. Sure, he gets captured along with the rest of the next-gen crew, but when the combined teams are trapped in a building rigged with explosives, he works his hacking magic to jam the detonation signal and buy them some time. Plus, Powell’s future-movie-star charisma is in full effect, especially in contrast to his stilted former-athlete co-stars.
9.
Galgo (Antonio Banderas)
Although at first he shows up as comic relief in The Expendables 3, and Banderas plays him with the kind of goofy energy he brings to Puss in Boots, Galgo proves to be more valuable than he appears. Barney initially rejects Galgo when he’s focused on bringing in young blood, but after those untested rookies are captured, Galgo is right there waiting, eager to help. He may be a little too eager, but his constant chatter hides an inner pain, which Banderas — who’s probably the best actor to appear in the franchise — conveys without giving up on the hyperactive silliness. Galgo is reliable, committed, and always there when he’s needed.
8.
Gunner Jensen (Dolph Lundgren)
In the first movie, Gunner is an unpredictable drunk who gets booted from the team for excessively cruel violence, then immediately betrays them to corrupt ex-CIA operative James Munroe (Eric Roberts). He nearly kills fellow Expendable Yin Yang (Jet Li), but by the end of the movie somehow all is forgiven. In later installments, he remains an unpredictable drunk who takes too much glee in killing people, but the truth is that’s probably an asset when you’re an Expendable. Still, a guy who’s only one bad bender away from selling the team out to the enemy may not be the person to keep around, no matter how good he is at mayhem and destruction.
7.
Maggie Chan (Yu Nan)
The Expendables have a long history of being jerked around by their CIA contacts, but when the mysterious Mr. Church (Willis) insists that his associate Maggie Chan join the team for their mission in The Expendables 2, she fits right in. Like Luna, she gets Barney to reveal some of his inner feelings, but she also carries around a case of torture implements for extracting information from thugs and can disarm a timed explosive with only seconds to spare. By the end, she offers to join the team on a more permanent basis, and she’d clearly be a worthy addition.
6.
Gina (Megan Fox)
Gina and Fox are both stuck with thankless roles in Expend4bles, as Gina steps up to run the team when Barney is no longer around. Barney’s longtime right-hand man Lee Christmas (Jason Statham) resents being passed over for the position, and Gina has to demonstrate her worth as a leader, while Fox demonstrates that she belongs in a lead role in a long-running action franchise. Both succeed better than expected, with Gina employing a more organized leadership style than Barney and Fox doing her best with the cheesy dialogue and inane plotting. Even when she’s in charge of a group of trained killers, though, Gina still has to exude sexiness — and end up in bed with Lee.
5.
Doc Death (Wesley Snipes)
Despite being held in some sort of dire off-the-books prison for eight years, Barney’s longtime friend and associate instantly jumps into a mission after the team rescues him at the beginning of The Expendables 3. They free him from his Hannibal Lecter–style restraints, he shaves off his beard with a huge knife, and he’s ready to resume his place as an Expendable. Snipes brings a manic, unpredictable energy to his role as Doc, who gripes about how the Expendables have changed and doesn’t take orders from anyone. But he’s also fiercely loyal, even saving Lee’s life despite complaining that Lee has usurped Doc’s position as Barney’s top lieutenant.
4.
Yin Yang (Jet Li)
In The Expendables, Yang fits right in with the team, and Li’s lean, swift martial-arts style brings a welcome balance opposite his hulking, muscle-bound co-stars. Yang is the target of mean-spirited jokes about his height, but he’s also the group’s conscience, as the first to insist they return to the fictional country of Vilena to help the resistance against the CIA-backed dictator. In the second movie, he gets a memorable showcase in an early fight scene using pots and pans, but he disappears unceremoniously soon after. When he makes a cameo in The Expendables 3, now working for rival mercenary Trench (Schwarzenegger), he doesn’t contribute much, although at least he says he’s now getting paid what he’s worth.
3.
Hale Caesar (Terry Crews)
Crews, who’s known as much for comedy as he is for action, gives Caesar a sense of joy and adventure, even if his joy comes from being really excited about new, deadlier types of bullets. He’s incredibly strong, able to heave an actual missile into the air so Barney can fire a bullet and detonate it, but he’s also sophisticated, making a gourmet meal out of an MRE packet. It makes sense that Barney is so rattled when Caesar suffers serious injuries in The Expendables 3, even if there’s never any doubt that he’ll show up totally fine in the requisite raucous epilogue at the team’s favorite bar. His effervescent presence is sorely missed in Expend4bles.
2.
Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone)
Barney may be the founder and leader of the Expendables, but he’s not quite the team’s most vital member. As a leader, he sometimes makes mistakes, including firing most of the classic team in The Expendables 3 and withholding key information from his associates in Expend4bles, but he’s also the kind of boss who tells Lee, “Great job,†after an especially effective explosion and sends the late Billy the Kid’s girlfriend a box of cash after Billy’s death. As far as ruthless mercenaries who’ve probably killed hundreds of people go, Barney is a pretty good guy. He can rally his squad with an inspirational speech about teamwork, and he can beat a man to death with his bare hands as an act of revenge.
1.
Lee Christmas (Jason Statham)
If there’s an emotional core to the Expendables movies, it’s the friendship between Barney and Lee, and Lee keeps both Barney and the rest of the team grounded. He’s the only Expendable who’s ever shown having romantic relationships, first with civilian Lacy (Charisma Carpenter) and later with Gina, and he makes a point of expressing how happy he is with the life he’s chosen. If he’s cut out of a mission, he takes it on himself to do the right thing and help out anyway, and he’s always coming to the rescue of his teammates. Barney tells the Expendables what to do, but Lee is the one who holds them together.