Jonas Brothers - Vulture
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Jonas Brothers

  1. jonaspocalypse
    Nick Jonas Leaves the NestThe talented one goes solo.
  2. jonaspocalypse
    Jonas Brother to Judge MortalsJoe Jonas will serve as a guest judge on ‘American Idol’ and cast fire down upon those whose singing he deems unsatisfactory.
  3. jonaspocalypse
    Joe Jonas Nearly Maims Nick Jonas in Freak Drumstick MishapOh, no!
  4. Purity Ring for SaleKEVIN JONAS IS ENGAGED!
  5. jonaspocalypse
    Jonas Brothers Lose Half of Their Fans in Just Under a YearTime to take a page from the Lady Gaga playbook, gents.
  6. knowing is half the battle
    Nick Jonas Gets an Audience With Barack ObamaIf Taylor Lautner plays his cards right, he might be next!
  7. right-click
    Jonas Brothers and Common: Power TeamAre you ready for some meaningful lyrics?
  8. jonaspocalypse
    The Jonas Brothers: What Went Wrong?The New York ‘Times’ asks, “Are the Jonas Brothers fizzling as a full-blown Walt Disney Company franchise?”
  9. jonaspocalypse
    The Jonas Brothers to Save the HamptonsThe brothers are dropping $500,000 on a two-week rental this summer, thereby fixing Suffolk County’s broken economy.
  10. quote machine
    Nick Jonas Thankful All Nose-Picking Was Edited Out of His 3-D MoviePlus: Abby Elliott on getting ahead at ‘SNL.’
  11. swine flu
    The Jonas Brothers vs. Swine FluThe Jonas Brothers haven’t canceled a concert over swine flu — they simply requested a night off to find a cure.
  12. charts
    SNL Season 34: By the NumbersWe know how much you love charts!
  13. finance
    Will the Jonas Brothers Sink Disney?Probably not, but then again, we majored in English, not finance.
  14. disasters
    Update: The Jonas Brothers’ Failing Streak ContinuesTheir new TV show was watched by a mere 3.2 million kids between 6 and 14, which is the approximate number of fans standing outside of Zac Efron’s house on an average weekday.
  15. tweens
    Zac Efron and Miley Cyrus Make the Jonas Brothers Feel Even WorseTeenagers aren’t yet sick of all stars of chaste, tween-based musical entertainment — just the abstinent ones, apparently!
  16. typecasting
    Zac Efron Won’t Be Kicking Off His Sunday Shoes, After AllHe’s dropped out of ‘Footloose’ because he’s afraid of being typecast.
  17. visual metaphors
    The Jonas Brothers and Their Overtly Sexual Foam CannonEw!
  18. the industry
    Brad Pitt and Natalie Portman Are Going to Break UpPlus: Merman!
  19. jonaspocalypse
    The Jonas Brothers: Over’Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience’ made only $12.7 million this weekend, dashing all hopes for a national return to prosperity in our lifetime.
  20. problem solved
    Can the Jonas Brothers’ 3-D Movie Save Our Economy?Perhaps the more reasonable question is, Can the Jonas Brothers NOT save our economy?
  21. quote machine
    Simon Cowell’s Post-Death Plans Will Be Great News to Anthony HopkinsPlus: The Jonas Brothers will never break up.
  22. candy art
    The Clique Girlz Can’t Sell Records, But They Can Sell Nipple-Shaped Candy to KidsHey, everyone’s gotta make a living, right?
  23. magic
    Jonas Brothers Appear in Two Places at OnceThey are omnipotent.
  24. chat room
    First-Time Director Robert Davi on ‘The Dukes,’ Battling James Bond, and Meeting the Jonas Brothers’My agent said, ‘They want you to do a Jonas Brothers video.’ And my kids and my wife were all going crazy.’
  25. the industry
    The Jonas Brothers to Make Fart JokesPlus: Zac Efron’s ‘Footloose’ gets fast-tracked!
  26. awesome
    Who Will Write the ‘Ghostbusters 3’ Theme Song?Now that we can sleep at night knowing that third installment of the Most Important Franchise Ever is en route, let’s turn to the real issues.
  27. apropos of nothing
    Jonas Brothers Coyly Decline to Endorse a Candidate…for now. They’re holding out for a Cabinet position.
  28. apropos of nothing
    How Much Money Could the Jonas Brothers Make?The brothers are currently making only $12 million a year, which may seem like a lot to you but frankly isn’t.
  29. roll credits
    Week in Review: Gold Medals Not Won By Michael PhelpsWho else took home the gold this week?
  30. apropos of nothing
    Are the Jonas Brothers Better Than Weezer?Yes.
  31. apropos of nothing
    New Jonas Brothers Song to Cure DiabetesWant to hear a power ballad about Nick Jonas’s struggle with type 1 diabetes?
  32. apropos of nothing
    What Are Jonas Brothers Fans Getting for Their $200?JoBro fans are paying $200 on eBay for the band’s out-of-print first album. Are they getting their money’s worth?
  33. apropos of nothing
    ‘Umbrella’ Watch 2008: Is the Jonas Brothers’ ‘Burnin’ Up’ the Song of the Summer?It has a mid-song rap!
  34. the industry
    Hilary Duff Plays It ‘Cool’Plus, sequels on the way for ‘Wanted,’ ‘Camp Rock,’ and ‘School of Rock.’
  35. apropos of nothing
    The Jonas Brothers: Have They Peaked?Only 13 million people watched the Jonas Brothers movie over the weekend — are they over?
  36. apropos of nothing
    America’s Critics Take Futile Last Stand Against Our New Jonas OverlordsThe faraway rumblings have now become ominous, earthshaking footsteps as the tuneful, three-headed monster that is the Jonas Brothers arrives at America’s doorstep.
  37. countdown
    You Are Now Entering the Season of the JonasThe Jonas Brothers have slowly been laying the groundwork for a hostile (but tuneful!) takeover of planet Earth, and this week begins their first major campaign.
  38. the early-evening news
    Most Important Jonas Brother Battles Venti-Size Caffeine AddictionPlus: Internet stalwarts Radiohead finally yield to iTunes, and 2009’s ‘Terminator 4’ gets spoiled already!
  39. tube junkie
    The Jonas Brothers on ‘Idol’: Surprisingly DisappointingAlso, who is that smirking guy standing behind them, playing guitar?
  40. vulture lists
    10 Top Goody-Goodies From Pop CulturePresenting the top ten churchgoing, non-drinking, promise-ring-wearing singer-actors — along with their great shames and potential for corruption. Yes, we remembered Miley Cyrus.
  41. apropos of nothing
    Jonas Brothers 3-D Movie to Reinvent the Concept of 3-DThe film will actually be presented in MIND-BLOWING 7-D.
  42. apropos of nothing
    Know Your Jonas Brothers OverlordsIf the Jonas Brothers are, as we suspect, about to take over the entire world, it would behoove you to meet your tyrannous overlords before you’re forced to kneel at their bejeweled feet.
  43. the take
    Disney Unleashes the Jonas Brothers Upon a Terrified PopulaceWhy is Disney pushing the Jonas Brothers so hard? Abject terror.
  44. the industry
    Clean-cut Teen Sensations Sign On for Most Boring Reality Show EverThe Jonas Brothers are coming to the Disney Channel, Sandra Brown finally sells The Witness to Hollywood, and Catherine Zeta-Jones gets to kiss someone young for a change.
  45. apropos of nothing
    The Next Great Disney Teen Musical Will Be Written by … Julie Brown?Camp Rock, brought to you by the singer of “The Homecoming Queen’s Got a Gun.”