two friends

Amber Ruffin and Christina Anthony Have Not Seen Kinky Boots

Yes, I know, at this point in the “pandemmy,†as I now call it, to say you miss live theater is basically a cliché. But this episode of Two Friends: A Nice Time Hanging Out With People Who Know Each Other Well has not only sent me into a state of missing the live theater experience desperately, it’s making me question whether I have ever seen live theater the way it was truly meant to be experienced. Christina Anthony from ABC’s Mixed-ish and Amber Ruffin from The Amber Ruffin Show are the stars of this week’s episode, and from the sound of it, also seem to be the stars of whatever room they happen to be in together.

One of those rooms just happened to be the audience of Broadway’s The Color Purple, which the two glowingly review as the best show they’ve ever seen together. So good, in fact, that the two recounted how they stood up during the bows (two theater-size vodka sodas deep, mind you) and belted the title song so loud, they were sure they would soon be asked to leave. They also saw Waitress together, which they declare to be “good.†And they also consider Dear Evan Hansen to be “beautiful†and, as Anthony puts it, “What a lesson about the dangers of lying.â€

However, we here at Vulture have learned from this episode that the two did not, in fact, see Kinky Boots together. Though they did walk past it after leaving The Color Purple and decided to pretend they had seen it, taking photos next to the Kinky Boots signage and filming fake promos for how good they thought Kinky Boots was. This ruse was ultimately exposed by an actual dancer from Kinky Boots approaching them to ask what they liked about the show and noticing they were still holding their very large vodka sodas in their Color Purple commemorative cups. This, a drunken night out with a friend where you scream about how good Kinky Boots is in front of the theater even though you’ve never seen it and are holding merch from a different show, is the correct way to do Broadway, folks. And when it comes back, I promise to never again mess this up.

If you enjoyed this episode, which you assuredly will, follow Vulture on Instagram and tune in on October 14, when Baroness Von Sketch Show’s Aurora Browne and Jennifer Whalen will be joining us!

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Amber Ruffin and Christina Anthony Have Not Seen Kinky Boots