Our new stew is not so new after all.
Alissa’s replacement, Leigh-Ann, comes aboard this week, and she and Ben have some history. As Leigh-Ann approaches the boat, Ben immediately clocks her as a past Tinder match, and we learn that they’ve sexted in the past. They have nudes of each other, but the pair had never even met in real life until now. Is this sheer coincidence? Or were the producers tipped off to this little love affair? This question is not rhetorical; I genuinely want to know.
My read on Leigh-Ann: She’s a bit of a pick-me (describes herself as a “tomboy†and someone who enjoys doing “things that not a normal female would doâ€) but ultimately harmless. She’s been a chief stew before, so I assume she’s good at her job, but you never really know. I fear for her life if Camille ever decides to strike, though. I’m not sure if I would have read my DMs with Ben aloud, but to each their own. This is an incredible reminder to the viewers that hot people are so often cringe. Take Ben, for example. An Adonis! Yet he sexts like a teen boy. Imagine receiving a message that says, “I’ll warn you now, I think we both have similar passions in the bedroom.†There is nothing worse or more embarrassing than rereading sexts. And yet I’ll be listening.
But we’re getting ahead of ourselves. Captain Lee and his gold chain are back! Captain Sandy decides to keep his return under wraps until he’s actually back on the island. An hour before he’s due to arrive, she shares the news, and her pending departure, with the crew. It’s a genuinely bittersweet moment. They’re really going to miss one another! This isn’t faking it for the cameras! Captain Sandy passes the baton to Captain Lee on the bridge and tells him she let Alissa go due to insubordination. If Captain Lee has a problem with it, he doesn’t let it show. He even praises Captain Sandy’s decision in his confessional, saying she did the right thing for the boat and crew. That being said, they bickered on social media after she fired Camille, so time will tell if Captain Lee changes his mind about her axing Alissa.
Regarding his health, Captain Lee shares that he had an inflamed sciatic nerve but is on the mend after a heavy helping of physical therapy. Does this mean he’s finally disembarking for good? Bravo hasn’t released an official statement, but this could very well be Captain Lee’s final voyage.
Enough with the BCU housekeeping and back to the onboard housekeeping! Rachel garnishes everyone’s food with 24-karat gold, not just Laquish’s, which makes me laugh. Laquish, of course, has to pipe up about the placement of the gold and claims it tastes different when it’s on steak versus shrimp or lobster. I don’t know a damn thing about edible gold, but I do know that’s simply not true. What I also know is true: The supercut put together by our dear producers of every single crew member complaining about Laquish is Emmys worthy.
And the fact that these pageant queens only tip a paltry $18,000? After we see the state of those cabins? Good grief. The crown they give Captain Sandy isn’t worth that much, I’ll tell you that! Yet, despite being a stew down, and despite Laquish and her antics, everyone agrees that this charter was their best yet. Captain Sandy and her coaching methods live to see another day. All it took was cutting out the cancers of the boat: Camille and Alissa.
What else, what else? Ben and Tony unionize against Katie because they’re sick of her bossing them around. That’s on them. Katie’s a #girlboss, and anyone with eyeballs could spot that from a mile away. But, anyway, Ross has to handle it, and this is why we don’t hook up with our employees. The power dynamic here is awful to witness and, frankly, a mess, but let’s move on. Katie apologizes to Tony, and it’s actually a really sweet moment. Tony is a sensitive old soul, and Katie is overcompensating for being a woman in yachting. Whatever beef they had is squashed, and I’m proud of them for getting past this.
Hayley and Tyler also have a tender heart to heart. We learn about Tyler’s upbringing and sexuality, but their conversation is bookended by a Hayleyism that takes all: her severe childhood obsession with Geri Halliwell. It may be her birthday, but she’s the one giving us a gift … that is until Fraser brings out the cake he had made in Hayley’s honor. What a terrifying, fantastic gateau. Absolutely iconic in every way and the only appropriate tribute to Hayley. Well done, Fraser. Well done.
Captain Sandy is noticing Fraser upping his game as well. She hugs him in front of everyone before her departure and sends him an extremely thoughtful text. She sees him and the changes he’s making. And with that, it’s time for her to go.