Remember when Jann Wenner was removed from the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame’s board of directors? It seems like eons ago. The 2024 induction ceremony, held October 19 in Cleveland, was a five-and-a-half-hour marathon of a soirée that had us equally questioning the passage of time. Instead of watching acts like Mary J. Blige, Cher, Dave Matthews Band, the MC5, or Foreigner get inducted, you could have listened to 4 eight times in a row. Not that we’re complaining, it was just … a really long ceremony with really long speeches.
Despite the bloated runtime, the Rock Hall has historically shown a penchant for pageantry and locks in unbelievable guests; this year’s induction segments included Dave Chappelle honoring A Tribe Called Quest and Jack Black paying tribute to Ozzy Osbourne. The ceremony is currently available to watch in full on Disney+. For those refusing to indulge in another streaming service, there will be a shortened special airing January 1 on ABC. Regardless on how you see it, let’s kick it together and go through the highs and lows.
LOW: Cher keeps the claws in
She could feel something inside her say … never mind. Despite teasing some sort of Steve Miller-ian ruckus — most recently proclaiming she’s “glad there’s a seven-second delay†— Cher’s induction was a docile affair that didn’t criticize the institution she once loathed. The sharpest she got was at the start of her speech: “It was easier getting divorced from two men than it was to get inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.†Later in the press room, she added how she’s “happy that I’m in.†And this is an artist who once declared she wouldn’t be in the Rock Hall if they gave her a million dollars as an enticement. Take that as you will.
WHOA: Mick Jones sends a proxy
Annabelle Dexter-Jones, the daughter of Foreigner co-founder and guitarist Mick Jones, spoke alongside the band on behalf of her father, who is currently battling Parkinson’s disease and unable to travel. “He wishes he could be here now,†said the Succession actor, surrounded by Foreigner members Lou Gramm, Rick Wills, and Al Greenwood. (Drummer Dennis Elliott refused to attend due to what he calls “totally unacceptable†treatment by the Rock Hall.) Reading a statement from her father, Dexter-Jones added, “I want to thank the fans, the listeners, and the dreamers who made this journey possible. Thank you to everyone who’s been part of this incredible odyssey. Rock and roll is forever.â€
HIGH: Jack Black goes full School of Rock
Just read this in Dewey Finn’s voice. Jack Black inducted Ozzy Osbourne as a soloist, describing Osbourne as “the Jack Nicholson of rock†and “the motherfucker who invented heavy metal.†Directing his infectious enthusiasm to teenagers who are stuck in a Spotify algorithm rut and have never heard the riffs of “Crazy Train,†Black encouraged them to seek out Osbourne’s work. “Sure, you could go stream Post Malone and Taylor Swift and get all the warm hugs you need for your broken hearts, or you can stay up all night and get your minds blown by Ozzy’s entire catalogue for the first time,†he said. And once you pass Ozzy 101, you can reward yourself by watching The Osbournes: “He teamed up with his family to create another genre, reality TV — maybe the most evil thing he ever did.â€
HIGH: Zendaya knows Cher’s audience, honey
No, the inductee with the most loyal drag-queen fan base isn’t Dave Matthews. Have you never seen that Will & Grace episode? On hand to help induct Cher, Zendaya — impeccably dressed in an abdomen-grazing halter dress as a visual nod to her hero — made sure to highlight one of the most enduring legacies of the singer’s career. “There are drag performers all over the world currently in a makeup chair putting on their best Cher face,†she said. “Thank you for being an advocate, an ally, and paving the way for so many humans of so many kinds to live in and speak their truth.â€
HIGH: Duets!
Dua Lipa and Cher? Jennifer Hudson and Dionne Warwick? Kelly “Kellyoke†Clarkson and Lou Gramm? Three excellent performances began as tributes before the honorees joined them onstage (but only two of them can be compared to The Substance).
WHOA: Dionne Warwick is your feisty auntie
After microphone issues temporarily made her go off-script to gripe about poor sound quality, Dionne Warwick accepted her Musical Excellence Award with a signature flair that her loyal Twitter followers are accustomed to. “In any ballgame, three strikes and you’re considered to be out. Well, this is the third time that I’ve been told I’ve been nominated for this particular award and they finally got it right,†she said. “I got to the point where I said, ‘You know, y’all can keep this award.’ But I’m so pleased to be here.â€
HIGH: The Prince of Darkness’s throne
Ozzy Osbourne once again rode bat wings to the upper echelon of the Rock Hall, this time as a solo artist. (He was previously inducted as a member of Black Sabbath, in 2006.) “I’m not going to bore you with a long, drawn-out fucking monologue,†he said. “Thank you from the bottom of my heart.†Osbourne opted out of performing — recent health issues have made it difficult to do so — choosing instead to watch from his throne as an Addams Family–style group of artists (including Billy Idol, Zakk Wylde, Maynard James Keenan, and Jelly Roll) saluted him. He clapped along for most of it.
HIGH: Kool & the Gang got down on it
More of this, please. Robert “Kool†Bell and James “JT†Taylor lead an impeccably groovy medley of “Hollywood Swinging,†“Get Down On It,†“Ladies Night,†“Jungle Boogie,†and “Celebration.†It seemed like a wasted opportunity not to end the ceremony with such a confetti high.
HIGH: Roger Daltrey honors his doppelgänger
Inducting his good chum Peter Frampton into the Hall, fellow follically gifted rocker Roger Daltrey recalled a time when he was excitedly mistaken for the king of the talk box. “I was going through an airport with Pete Townshend and I was being chased by a flock of teenage girls going, ‘Peter! Peter!’†Daltrey said. “Townshend came up behind me and he said, ‘Roger, you’re really lucky, they think you’re Peter Frampton.’ And then he said, ‘You’re really, really lucky, because they think I’m Tiny Tim.’â€
WHOA: Peter Frampton, hazed by 50 percent of the Who
Daltrey’s speech also included a quick aside about Frampton’s original band, the Herd, supporting the Who in the late 1960s. “Peter traveled with Keith Moon in his Bentley and he survived endless pranks and jokes,†Daltrey recalled. “I did think to myself then, Wow, this guy is a survivor.†Minutes later, Frampton went off-script to specify just how chaotically formative that opening tour slot actually was for him:
One night backstage, Keith Moon and John Entwistle decided to show me the rock ropes and take me under their collective wing. Every time in the Herd’s dressing room I went near the window and looked out, all the girls would start screaming down below, The next thing I knew, I was being dangled out of the third-story window by my ankles. This was amid the maniacal laughter of Keith and John. They thought I should be closer to my fans, obviously. I was 17. Welcome to rock and roll.
LOW: Where is the super jam?
Once a pillar of the ceremony, the Hall again skipped a super jam this year. (The last one occurred in 2022, when the majority of inductees joined Dolly Parton for “Jolene.â€) Was getting some folks together to trade verses on “Gypsys, Tramps & Thieves†that difficult? Or holding a special happy hour for “Margaritavilleâ€? Instead, the show concluded with the Dave Matthews Band performing a condensed version of Talking Heads’ “Burning Down the House,†which Matthews justified with Stop Making Sense turning 40 this year. “I’m gonna screw the beginning up.†He did perfectly fine.
WHOA: Julia Roberts plays favorites
The actress’s go-to member of the Dave Matthews Band? Why, drummer and percussionist Carter Beauford. “I said it,†she said in her induction speech for the band. “I spit out my cough drop when I said it, but I said it.†The eighth supporting actor of Just Go With It didn’t deserve this.
If you’re wondering how Dave Matthews addressed Boyd Tinsley’s absence …
“Wherever you are, we hope you’re finding the happiness you seek.â€
LOW: Sammy Hagar charters the Ship of Theseus
There inevitably comes a point when a paradox seeps its way into an induction ceremony and we got it during Foreigner’s segment. Sammy Hagar’s speech for the British rockers was effusive, if not a bit Wikipediaesque: He stuck to listing chart numbers and sold record units to measure just how worthy they were of the honor. But there was one metric he felt he had to note: “They formed in 1977 and they’re still filling arenas and amphitheaters around the country and there’s not even any original members,†Hagar said. “That’s how good the songs were and that’s how good the music is.†Sure, Foreigner can still draw a crowd by utilizing that method. But … should they?
And now, life advice from Kool & the Gang’s James “JT†Taylor …
“I’d like to thank my lawyers. You need great lawyers, right? Hey, you need about five or ten of them.â€
The Vulture Honorary Award for ‘Give Them a Nomination Next Year’ goes to …
Billy Idol, whose presence belting “No More Tears†for Ozzy Osbourne’s segment made us realize (1) He still sounds fantastic, (2) He has a ton of indelible hits, and (3) He’s keeping it tight. The same applies to Queen Latifah, one of several Native Tongues rappers who paid their respects to A Tribe Called Quest.
The Vulture Honorary Award for ‘Excellence in Headwear’ goes to …
Mary J. Blige. No need for hateration or holleration in this haberdashery.