Of course Richard Kind was going to appear in Only Murders in the Building, because Richard Kind will appear in almost anything that offers a craft services table. The salt shaker of an actor emerged last week as a pink-eyed potential murder suspect who lives in the Arconia’s west wing, the one inhabited by weirdos, loners, and renters. His nickname? Stink-Eye Joe. He can’t help it if the virus plaguing his corneas “jumps back and forth like hopscotch,†so try not to stare. Kind’s character comes to blows, quite literally, with Charles-Haden Savage (Steve Martin) and a method-acting Eugene Levy this week; Stink-Eye Joe’s alibi turns out to be pretty strong — but not before he gives Levy a firm jab to the face for his failed interrogation techniques. “I can’t believe that you thought I killed your friend,†he offers afterward. “I can’t even kill this moderate-to-severe case of bacterial conjunctivitis.â€
Only Murders completes a recent comedic-television trifecta for Kind, who in the past six months starred alongside John Mulaney as the announcer for experimental live comedy show Everybody’s in L.A. and popped up in Girls5Eva’s season finale playing himself as a beacon of showbiz wisdom. Kind has been working at an endearingly prolific pace for more than 30 years (with nearly 300 screen credits, by his estimation), a longevity that both astonishes and unsettles the character actor. “I have a huge ego with no confidence,†he explains. “I know where I stand in the business. I’ll never go out and try to play Brick in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. It’s not in my makeup.†Kind considers himself to be a blank slate when it comes to fielding casting offers, though. He’s even learned how to keep up with the demand. “Did you ever take an art-history course?†he asks. “You know how you study the paintings and take the test, and the minute the test is over, you forget the date it was painted, you forget the painter, you forget everything? That’s what a script is like for me. You study and you know it so well, then you go home that night and it’s gone.â€
How did it feel, emotionally and physically, to punch beloved actor Eugene Levy in the face?
Can you imagine how lucky I am? That when I was 24 years old, lying in bed about to go wait tables, to think that I would be acting with Steve Martin and Eugene Levy in a truly comic, slapstick-silly scene. I still can’t believe it. All I remember is saying to myself, You are the straight man. Things are happening to you. I had to work hard not to try to invade their funniness. But yes, the punch was a blast — in fact, the stunt man was quite taken. I’ve taken boxing, but I had to have a short jab. More than being funny, I wanted to be masculine.
All that while suffering from antibiotic-resistant pink eye.
I’ll tell you something else about that scene. Steve did a movie called The Man With Two Brains. He played a character named Dr. Hfuhruhurr. His pronunciation is so specific. Steve has to do a bit in Only Murders where he has to make up a name and it’s Dr. Salazar Savage. He’s making it up, 40 years later, and he’s pulling up 1980 Steve Martin. Being silly like that is something he doesn’t do as much anymore, and seeing him do that, I wanted to cry. He was the old Steve Martin again. He doesn’t play The Jerk, he doesn’t play The Man With Two Brains anymore. He’s silly, but he’s not silly stupid. And this one was silly stupid. I’m notorious for being a giggler, and I would be damned if I would ruin a take when he went back and did that.
How many spit takes did you have to endure?
Oh my God, those things take five hours. It’s physical comedy. We had to get it exactly right. Steve and Eugene are very specific about all that stuff. Steve calls John Hoffman, the executive producer, every night to talk. Steve can sometimes get down on himself. He’s an insecure performer who’s brilliant and works very hard to be great. Usually Steve calls him every night and says, “I don’t know whether I did well,†but he called up John that night and said, “I think we did some good work today.†Another thing happened that day: There’s this exchange our characters have where he goes, “I’m shy,†and I respond, “I’m shy too.†My hands look exactly like when he used to go, “Well, excuse me.†But the words that came out were, “I’m shy too.†The hands and the extended vowels were all from the library of Steve Martin.
Have you ever been in a situation with another actor where you both thought there was mutual dislike but it was just a simple case of awkwardness?
No. Show people are the best. They’re fun. They’re literal. They’re accepting. They want to have a good time. It’s great to be around them. I might be annoyed with somebody because, Oh, shut up, just do the scene and stop asking stupid questions to the director. But I don’t think I’ve ever disliked somebody on set. I like everybody.
Many people have mentioned to me, “I can’t believe Richard Kind hasn’t been in this show yet, it’s wonderful to see him†as these Only Murders episodes have aired. How do you feel when you hear something like that — where people are actively hoping for your presence in projects?
You must understand, I don’t buy it and I don’t believe it. When I was doing Everybody’s in L.A., I never thought I was any good. I go, “Did I do okay? Was I right?†Now, Vulture loves me. You all said, Every show needs Richard Kind. I’ll always remember that. I never thought I was any good. Isn’t that crazy?
Why did you think that?
The thing I did best on that show was keep my mouth shut. There were so many times when I wanted to say something but thought, This is John’s show. Let John have these moments. I would ask one question of every guest just to give John a chance to breathe. I wanted to ask five more and I didn’t. Why did I think I didn’t do well? I don’t know. We used to come in at 2:30 p.m. to get made up and do a run-through of the episode. On the last day they told me, “You don’t have to come in until 3:30 p.m.†And I thought, Oh, they’ve cut me. They want me to come in late because they really have nothing for me. I was wrong. I had more to do that day than I did any other day. But my insecurity is such that I thought I was cut.
This might also be a reason why I didn’t know whether or not I was doing okay: I have an ego. I want to shine. You get in this business because you want to hear the applause and you want compliments. On this I thought, This is John’s show and I’m here to support. I didn’t care about shining. I wanted to do well for John. What more could I have done? How could I have made this show better? That’s why I never knew if I did a good job, because I wasn’t doing it for me. When I was doing Curb Your Enthusiasm and finished a take, I would always say to Larry, “Is that what you wanted?†Not, “Was I any good?†Did I do the right job for you?Â
Now that you and John Mulaney are reuniting on Broadway, can you convince him to do an Everybody’s in L.A. for New York City?
We did a run-through of a whole episode before we did the first show. In John’s monologue — and he never used this again — he said, “We’re only doing six shows and out. Even if we get moon-landing ratings, this is six shows and out.†I thought, Great, okay. It was wonderful, chaotic, interesting, and fantastic. I loved everything. And then he said, “Well, we might be doing it again.†And I go, “John, what?†And he goes, “Yeah?†And I say, “Look, if you do it again and want to get a whole new co-host or whatever, don’t feel beholden. I won’t be insulted, I promise.†And he goes, “Why wouldn’t you be insulted? I’d be very insulted. Of course you’re coming.†I’d love to do Chicago. I’d love to do San Francisco. I’d love to do New York. Let it be a triptych. I don’t know where it is. I didn’t press him and I didn’t ask him, so don’t ask me. But wouldn’t that be wonderful?
To hearken back to your appearance in Girls5Eva this season, you joked that your IMDb page is longer than a wizard’s beard.
I’m around 290 at this point.
What’s your standard for accepting roles at this point in your career? Has it changed over the years?
The most important thing is they have to ask me. That’s a joke. I recently did such a low-budget movie there were five people on the crew. The director was the one doing the clapboard. Why do I do it? I really love acting. What else am I going to do on a Tuesday and a Wednesday? I could go play golf, but I’ve already got a lot of golf. This film had a sweet part and I helped out a guy who probably spent his last dime. He said he edits car commercials, but he wants to write and direct and act. So I said, “Yeah, okay, I’ll do it.†It took me two days out of my life. I got to act. So that’s one reason.
The big reason is I have three children in college. I will whore myself because I have to pay for their college. You have to understand, I’m a character actor. I’m friends with a lot of people whose shoulders carry tentpole films. The obvious one is George Clooney. When George Clooney says yes to a film, industries pop up — laundry, catering, hotels, other actors, writers, editors, all the special effects, the town where it might shoot, and the stockholders who invest in the studio with the hopes of making money. There’s a lot of pressure on that guy. Me, I’ve got no pressure. People say, “Why do you take that? Didn’t you know it was terrible?†I took it because it’s not on my shoulders. I’m an actor for hire. That’s what I do. They’re paying me, it will give me fame, and it might lead to other work — those are the reasons I take it. I wish I could say that the challenge was the greatest reason, but it’s because parts are offered to me and I like to act. I’ll pretty much take 93 percent of jobs.
How do you determine the 7 percent?
Something’s got to be wrong if I turn it down. I might be a little unseemly or unsavory. But it may also be, “I’m sorry, it’s parents’ weekend at my daughter’s school.†That’s the reason I won’t do it, but I’d like to.
Another excellent Girls5Eva moment was when you advocated for the idea of “medium time†fame and how an actor should strive to find that balance. Do you share this same epiphany as fictional Richard Kind?
When you look at George Clooney or Brad Pitt, these are people whose careers are based on how successful their most recent box office is. They have a monetary responsibility. It’s unheard of. Other than politicians, these people affect people’s lives. I affect nobody’s life. When I think of “the medium time,†I think of a show called The Garry Moore Show. It was very popular in its day. It made Carol Burnett a star. Garry Moore used to say — and this is back when there were 120 shows on the air and there were only three networks — “You should always want to be about number 25, because you know you’re going to get picked up, but you’re not important enough for the suits to come down and check on you.†I understand the sentiment.
Is that saying I want mediocrity? I don’t think so. On television or in the movies, I don’t get to stretch as much as I’d like to because there are monetary consequences. But when I do a play, I’ll take a leading role and it will be different from what you expect of me because they’re not taking such a gamble. I have a modicum of fame for the stage. People will say, “Oh, I recognize him. I’ll go see him.†I can’t bring millions to a movie theater, but I can bring tens of hundreds to a theater. Movies and TV are big gambles. Did you see a show called East New York?
I sure did. It was canceled after a year on CBS.
I can tell you why it was canceled. It was produced by Warner Bros., it was made by Warner Bros., but it was distributed by CBS. So, do you go to HBO Max or Paramount+ when you stream it? We were caught in between, they couldn’t come to terms, and they got selfish. Even though it probably would’ve been a show that could have run for seven years, they decided to cut off their nose to spite their face. But CBS took a chance on me — someone known for comedy — and gave me a very nice dramatic role. I wasn’t there for laughs. It wasn’t heavy, although some of my scenes were. That’s why I was so upset. I was given a chance to stretch. I usually take something that allows me to stretch.
Eugene serves as the actor counterpart for Steve’s character and Zach Galifianakis has the same duty for Martin Short. Who would you say is best suited to portray you in an onscreen role?
Daniel Day-Lewis … as Abraham Lincoln.
I can see the doppelgäng-ing.
My daughter went to school in the Upper West Side. A few years ago, I’m sitting at parents’ night and look across the room and my eyes bug open. It’s Daniel Day-Lewis. He sees me look at him and nods to me, so he obviously recognized me. I went up to him when the thing was over and I said, “You know, I’m so fucking furious at you.†And he goes, “Why?†And I go, “Because I wanted to be the most famous father in the class.â€