We were not admitted to the Met-gala party this year. Luckily, at the Time 100 gala, we ran into the totally down-to-earth duo of Leslie Mann and Judd Apatow, who were more than happy to describe what happened inside as it really went down. “Well, it was much more fun than I had thought it would be,” said Mann. “People at my table, they brought flasks of vodka with them. So as soon as they pulled out the flask of vodka, I was like, all right, this is going to be fun.” Mann, sadly, refused to divulge the identity of her tablemates. Mostly, she said, “I kind of just stayed in the corner and looked at all the beautiful models. They’re so tall. Like beautiful aliens. And then Kanye sang. And I don’t think it’s a normal thing for people to get up and dance, but everyone was up and dancing. It was incredible.” Apatow was even more enthusiastic. “It was the best night ever! Seeing Kanye West live was the most fun thing I’ve ever seen, especially seeing him get a lot of people who clearly don’t do a lot of dancing to get up and dance.” Who were the worst dancers of the night? “Those models were in some high heels,” said Apatow. “If they fell down, they’d go down hard. That was the best thing I’ve ever seen.” And the night’s best dancers? “That would be me and Judd,” said Mann without hesitation. “We have a special routine that we work on and we used it last night. Honey, what’s it called?” Apatow answered, “Me Embarrassing You.”
Alas, the joy didn’t last all night for our fair duo. Mann was wearing a gorgeous Oscar de la Renta dress, and torturous Christian Louboutin shoes. “Man! Why can’t he make shoes for wide-footed women?!” Mann asked, her face wincing at the memory. “We couldn’t even go to the after-party because my feet hurt so bad. It was just … I didn’t realize that you had to walk a mile through the museum before you could get to your table and eat dinner. And I had some, like, six-inch heels on, and my feet by the end of the night were, like, bloody and blistered. I just wanted to go home.” So they called a car and went outside to wait. Rain was pouring down and traffic on Fifth Avenue had come to a standstill. “I just took off my shoes and went barefoot because my feet hurt so bad,” said Mann. “I was like, ‘Fuck it!’ So I’m walking in the rain, barefoot, in front of the Met, all these 40-foot models around me, just waiting for a car to come and take us home. It took 45 minutes.”