In this week’s story, a woman wonders if the couple she and her boyfriend meet on vacation are hitting on them or just really friendly: 25, in a relationship, New Jersey.
DAY ONE
9:20 a.m. My boyfriend, T, is already at the hotel gym by the time I open my eyes. We’re on vacation and I’m taking my sleep very seriously. Back home, I’m a public-school teacher and have to wake up at 6 a.m. to make it to work on time, so I’m thrilled to wake up so late. We’re on spring break this week, so I decided to take advantage of it with a trip to Miami.
11 a.m. I’m starving, and T is still working out — he’s a gym rat — so I go down to the hotel restaurant to have brunch by myself.
11:30 a.m. T joins me from the gym, sweaty and all. I’m so into his look; it’s very Jersey Shore. We have a good sex life. Whenever I see him, I want to jump him. We eat quickly and go back to our room to have our first fuck of the day.
3 p.m. We’re laying out by the pool.
6 p.m. Now we’re both starving, so we ask the concierge where to get Mexican food. He sends us to a place that’s a short walk away. We hold hands, walk and talk. We’re totally in our honeymoon phase right now. We met three months ago, online, and instantly felt like soul mates. This is our first trip away together, but back home in New Jersey, we spend most nights together, and most weekends he sleeps at my place because it’s nicer than his. He works in construction but hasn’t started making good money yet.
9 p.m. We were going to find a club to dance, but we got horny at dinner and came home to have sex. Twice a day is our usual number. Unless I wake up in the middle of the night and want to go a third time … it happens!
10 p.m. We watch Friends on the hotel TV, cuddle, and fall asleep.
DAY TWO
8 a.m. I wake up to work out with my man. I’m not as obsessed with the gym as he is, but I go a few times a week. There’s no way he’d date a girl who didn’t understand gym life.
10:30 a.m. Hotel brunch. There’s another couple next to our table who look like they could be our twins. We start talking. They’re from Atlanta and keep saying they’re in Miami “to party.” We’re fun people, too, but we don’t do drugs and we aren’t swingers or anything like that, and I can’t tell if that’s what these people are alluding to. They ask if we want to hang out later tonight; we say yes, because we do like them and maybe my hunch — that they want to fuck us — is totally wrong.
2 p.m. While T and I are laying out, he shuts down my suspicions. He’s like, “They’re cool! They’re just like us.”
5 p.m. We shower after the pool and have sex. We’re both so horny for each other 24/7. I wonder if this kind of sexual attraction would last forever. I do want to marry him, but I haven’t said those words yet. I think it’s mutual. He told he loved me after I met his mom and it went really well, about a month after we started dating.
7 p.m. Gia, the girl from Atlanta, texts to tell us they’re at the bar, so we go down. I tell T that I’m nervous, but he’s like, “Don’t be crazy.” Gia and her boyfriend, Bill, are already taking shots. They tell us that they have twins back home and they really need to let off steam. We decide to go to this Italian restaurant a few blocks down. I hook into T’s arm and we all start walking.
9 p.m. After three bottles of red, we’re talking about sex nonstop. They seem to fuck as often as us. She’s really into toys, which makes me think Bill’s dick doesn’t do it for her. But I know that’s judgmental of me. They are not swingers, or if they are, they don’t make any moves on us. They’re still very extra, and even though I’m drunk, I want to go home with T and be done with them. I try to give him the “I’ve had enough” eyes, but he doesn’t pick up on it and we get another bottle of red.
10 p.m. We split the bill, they head out to another bar, and T and I head back to the hotel. I’m like, “Something is weird with them.” He says he liked them and it was a fun night. Back at our room, we have really good sex on our balcony, which is actually pretty private, and finish up on our bed. I love him so much!
DAY THREE
9 a.m. I get so much sleep that I’m actually not hungover. T is at the gym.
10 a.m. It’s our last day here, so I just want to lay out. I have a few magazines I bought at the airport, too.
1 p.m. T is bored at the pool so he goes back to the room to fuck around on his computer. I order some lunch to be delivered to my lounge chair.
3 p.m. Gia and Bill show up. They have a private cabana and ask if we want to come in and have Champagne with them. I text T to come back down. They’re kinda weird, yes, but I like the idea of free expensive Champagne on our last day here.
6 p.m. After a few hours of drinking in their cabana, we’re all very drunk. And that’s when it happens … Gia starts flirting with T. Bill tries to flirt with mem but I give him nothing back and he gets the hint. But T is indulging Gia. They’re talking about his gym routine and she’s touching his arm muscles and abs and stuff. T knows I’m glaring at them, but he doesn’t make it stop. To be fair, Gia is doing all the initiating and I don’t think T quite knows how to extract himself from it. Finally, I’m like, “We’re going. Bye.” And I grab him and pull him out of there.
7 p.m. Back in our room, we have the biggest fight we’ve ever had. He said Gia was not hitting on him and that I’m acting crazy. I think this is what gaslighting is. I am almost positive they were flirting with us and that Gia was all over T … but he says I’m acting jealous and crazy, and honestly, I’ve had so much Champagne I don’t know what the truth is. I hate fighting with him.
9 p.m. We order room service and sober up, but he’s annoyed with me, and I’m still confused about the whole thing. I hate that our vacation is ending like this. We didn’t even have sex today.
11 p.m. We watch bad movies in our room and it’s awkward. He falls asleep, but I’m too upset to sleep.
DAY FOUR
9 a.m. After lying in bed for a little, we have sex. It resets us. We’re both laughing at ourselves from last night. T admits that Gia was “kinda” flirting with him, but he didn’t cross any lines, and I shouldn’t be so insecure. I try to let it all go. We have to pack for the airport, and I want to leave on a high note.
11:30 a.m. As we check out at the front desk, I pray we don’t see Gia and Bill. Luckily, we get in an Uber to the airport without any sightings.
2 p.m. We cuddle and kiss on the flight home and I think we are fine after having our first fight, but there’s a little tickle in the back of my mind wondering if I damaged our happiness. I pray I’m wrong.
5 p.m. We land in Newark and get picked up by my sister, who works near the airport. She’s met T and loves him. She drops him at his house first, and when he gets out, he’s kind of cold toward me. I think it’s probably because my sister is there. But the minute he leaves the car, I start crying to her that I acted crazy yesterday and I’m afraid he’s going to break up with me. My sister says she’s sure it’s fine. It’s a good sign that I’m anxious about it all; it means I care about him. It’s been years since I’ve cared about any man. I try to focus on the positive side; I’m really madly in love with him.
7 p.m. Once I’m home, I shower and unpack. I’m a homebody and I’m happy to be in my little house with all my favorite things. I make some tea. I play some music. I try to stay calm. T and I are texting little things to each other and, again, he seems totally fine. I’m too in my head about it.
10 p.m. It’s hard to fall asleep without him.
DAY FIVE
8 a.m. I’m doing errands that I never have time for. The first thing is a big grocery shop, which I’m getting dressed for now.
10 a.m. T has work, so I text him to have a good day. He sends me a kissy-face emoji.
2 p.m. Getting my nails done at a local place. Before I switch to the manicure, I text T to see what he wants for dinner.
3 p.m. My nails are dry and I look at my phone and he hasn’t written me back yet. I try not to panic. I’ve never been this insecure with T before. I just feel so icky about that cabana memory.
5 p.m. T still hasn’t written me back. This sometimes happens if he’s got his hands dirty with work, but it’s late in the day for that.
8 p.m. I’m drinking wine and eating pasta, alone, kinda freaking out, when he finally texts back. It’s a simple text, something like, “Love ya babe!” but no mention of dinner or coming over tonight. I don’t want to spiral or make anything worse, so I wait to write back.
10 p.m. Just before bed, I text, “Love you too! Night.” I try to sound breezy.
DAY SIX
8 a.m. I hit the gym knowing a good workout will get my head on straight.
11 a.m. I don’t go to therapy, but I have a good friend who is a therapist and, luckily, she’s around to have a coffee with me near her work. I’m like, “Girl, I need you. I’m spinning out.” I tell her the whole thing. She thinks it has less to do with Gia and the cabana scene and more to do with T freaking out after our first trip together. It might just be a new level of maturity and commitment that he wasn’t quite prepared for. She tells me not to feel worried and just play it cool. She said in a few weeks I can ask him to unpack what happened but just let things have air and space right now.
4 p.m. After no texts from T, I text him something super-low-key about hanging this week. He quickly responds that he’ll come over tonight. Okay then?!
7 p.m. T shows up, freshly showered, smelling so good. I need to fuck him so badly. The minute I see him, I jump on him. We have incredible sex and then talk about dinner. As we decide what to eat, I casually say, “I missed you?” He’s like, “Whoa, it’s been 48 hours,” and in this moment I know that my therapist friend was right, he’s digesting the seriousness of this whole thing right now and I cannot rush him or freak him out in any way. It’s a delicate dance, but I think I know how to handle it.
10 p.m. When we get back in bed, to sleep this time, we have another quick fuck. I feel emotional but try to hide it. I don’t want to rock the boat.
DAY SEVEN
7 a.m. T’s alarm goes off so he can hit the gym before going into work. He always comes to my place with his bag packed and ready for both. He gives me a quick kiss and leaves.
11 a.m. It’s my last day of school vacation, so I fulfill my promise to myself to deep clean my house and my car. Because my mind is still kind of spinning about T, I drink screwdrivers while I clean. They really do take the edge off.
3 p.m. I’m now blasting Taylor Swift and almost done scrubbing down my fridge, a chore I’ve never done in my life but which feels very rewarding.
4 p.m. I see that Gia has followed me on Instagram. Gross. I want her to go away. I have no doubt she is now following T too. This is really hard to put out of my mind. I surf her page, and her life looks pretty wholesome with her kids. I try really, really hard not to assume the worst.
6 p.m. T texts when his workday is done. He says he’s exhausted and going to his place. But he ends the text by saying something like, “Love you so much, you sexy woman.” I tell myself that we are fine.
9 p.m. As I get ready for bed, I send T some nude pics, which is something I do from time to time. He sends me a dick pic in return. The rhythm and timing feels normal and makes me happy. I hope he’s jerking off to me right now, but I don’t let myself ask.
10 p.m. I lie in bed thinking about how crazy it is pretending not to care — not necessarily about the jerking off, but about him, about us. I hate all these rules, but I’m afraid if I ignore them, I’ll regret it forever. Once again, I wish T was in my bed but try to sleep nevertheless.
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