Attending New York Fashion Week, 19-year-old Justin Bieber unveiled a new style of his own: a wispy mustache. For a pubescent multimillionaire desperate to prove his manliness, this is a big moment. The fame-per-follicle ratio is simply staggering. Nevertheless, Justin Bieber’s mustache held its own on the red carpet.
Let’s zoom in on it.
Really close.
Uncomfortably close.
Why are wispy mustaches so uncomfortable to look at, anyway?
Is it because you can’t help but contemplate associated pubescent discomforts like painful acne, cracking voices, and awkward make-out sessions with too much saliva? (Also: Is he wearing Invisalign?)
Or is it uncomfortable because these few, sparse hairs are as precious to the owner as they are precarious? Like a delicate cobweb covered in dew.
Unlike a cobweb, though, a mustache cannot be blown away. It will grow. It will always grow. Justin Bieber seems pretty psyched for that.