While the world is acclimating to the presence of hoverboards, the following opinions have emerged surrounding their existence: They don’t hover (they don’t hover!), they render grown men totally unfuckable, they’re exclusively for cool teens. Also there’s a loose association with Justin Bieber and any song from Purpose.
However, now that the NYPD tweeted, “the electric #hoverboard illegal NYC Admin. Code 19-176.2,” the lame tides are beginning to turn — because once you outlaw something, it immediately becomes at least a little cooler, even if it’s the signature accessory of today’s manbaby.
Now that those handleless Segways are outside the law, those who ride them — be they Midtown bros zooming out of Señor Frogs or finance wieners cruising to post-work squash in their Brooks Brothers suits — may be entitled to some level of sexy/cool status, instead of the deserved douche card. We may find ourselves eyeing a hoverboarder with the same craven lust once reserved for the skater boi, or worse, thinking to ourselves, God, I’d rather date that dangerous, rebellious man on his illegal hoverboard than a loser with a totally legal Ducati.
Thanks a lot, NYPD. Thanks a lot.