It was August 2016: Summer was in full swing, and so was Orlando Bloom’s penis. For a moment in time, it dominated the news cycle after paparazzi caught him paddleboarding naked with then-girlfriend Katy Perry off the coast of Sardinia. (Were we ever so young?)
The world has since moved on from dong-gate, but a new profile of Bloom in Elle UK asks the actor to reflect on that one thing every man must face in his lifetime: a nude-paddleboarding scandal.
Calling the reaction to it “extremely surprising,” he adds, “I wouldn’t have put myself in that position if I’d thought it would happen.”
He elaborates:
“I’ve been photographed a million times in a million different ways. I have a good radar. We’d been completely alone for five days. Nothing around us. There was no way anyone could get anything. So I had a moment of feeling free.
When the writer asks him if there was a double standard at play because of the lack of outrage at his exposure, he admits, “I didn’t take it that deep, darlin’. What can I tell you? Note to self: You’re never free.”
Looking back at this, it’s important to remember one thing: Never judge a man until you’ve traveled a mile nude on his paddleboard.