On Thursday night, adult preteen woman Taylor Swift released “Gorgeous,” the latest single off of her upcoming extremely petty album Reputation. What can we expect from this new, more self-aware version of the pop singer? Apparently a lot of lyrics that sound exactly like a middle school diary entry.
Swift’s song has the trademark hyperbolic dramatics of a 12-year-old who truly believes she’s going to die if her unrequited crush doesn’t notice her. It’s got the lyrics of a girl who’s procrastinating on her seventh grade English poetry assignment and crying in her bedroom because her life is over. And it also has the boastful swagger of a young lady who has definitely tried alcohol and who totally has an older boyfriend, you just don’t know him, he’s in high school.
Here are some of the most middle-school lines from Swift’s new song.
– “You should take it as a compliment that I got drunk and made fun of the way you talk.”
– “And I got a boyfriend, he’s older than us.”
– “You’re so cool, it makes me hate you so much.”
– “You’ve ruined my life by not being mine.”
– “You’re so gorgeous, I can’t say anything to your face ‘cause look at your face.”
– “And I’m so furious at you for making me feel this way but what can I say? You’re gorgeous.”
– “You should think about the consequence of you touching my hand in a darkened room.”
–“If you got a girlfriend I’m jealous of her but if you’re single … that’s honestly worse.”
– “You’re so gorgeous, it actually hurts.”
– “Ocean-blue eyes lookin’ in mine. I feel like I might sink and drown and die.”
– “You make me so happy it turns back to sad. There’s nothing I hate more than what I can’t have.”
– “You are so gorgeous, it makes me so mad.”
This is probably supposed to be another satirical play off of her “crazy girl in love” reputation, à la “Blank Space” — especially given the line about stumbling “home to [her] cats … alone” — but instead, it just sounds juvenile. Apparently Reputation’s theme is “I know what you guys say about me on the internet!”